I would’ve swore at the ref, too. (Thanks, Mankanwal):
Parents and coaches of a Calgary junior soccer team are angry after a Sikh player was barred from a game for insisting on wearing his religious head scarf.
Northwest United was competing in a tournament in this Vancouver suburb when a referee told 17-year-old Gurindar Durah he could not wear his patka, which young, religiously observant Sikhs are required to wear.
Mr. Durah swore at the referee and was ejected from the game. Then his team decided to walk out in protest.
Mad props to his team for standing up and walking out for their boy. Durah’s Coach, Mario Moretti supported his players, calling the tournament “done” the moment the ref brought up Gurindar’s patka:
“This is a decision our players made, not me. I supported my players. They all supported Gurindar, which was a no-brainer for us.”
Of course the people behind the tournament, in a dazzling display of deluded, oblivious lameness stated that Durah was barred from the tournament for “swearing”. Way to address the issue, there.
I’m somewhat shocked that it all went down north of us; I always thought of Cah-naw-duh as being literally and figuratively more chill. Beyond that, the Sikh community there is so accomplished and visible when compared to Amreeka. I unlearn something new, every day.
True, My reference to the hijab ban was erroneous.
I think if the Sikh kid was in a public school in the US, this would have raised serious first amendment violation problems. Maybe they need to enact a similar constitutional protection in Canada.
Anna, Canada is generally more “chill”, except Calgary is NOT Canada. Calgary is somewhat more like the Houston, Texas of Canada; they love their beef, oil, bars called “Cowboys”, ranching, country music, the Conservative Party, and Patriotism, and the like. Google search Calgary and racism and deny entrance and barr and so on, and you will see plenty of newsworthy evidence of this low-life behaviour (http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca/story/2613): this incident was no accident. Yuck. If you ever visit Alberta Canada, you’re better off heading north to Edmonton, or better yet, straight to Banff.
And to add balance to what seemed to be a flippant way to deal with a serious issue, the woman who insists on exposing her body with dependence on a legal system to protect her, rather than her own wisdom in dealing with “forces of nature” is as much stuck in physical realities as the person who forces a woman to wear a burqa.
Its important to see burqa has its place, which should be respected.
Sumita
AM
Correct.And one hopes, set good examples to the poor ones in thought and deed
Sumita
My dear Chap actually I’ve been there and done that. Indeed for your dear uncleji “less is more” there’s something about a woman in a shapeless tent of cloth that gets the blood pumping and of course it leaves so much to imagination.
Sunita: My Dear I’ll get the drinks while you slip into something infinitely more uncomfortable…
Punjabi Boy:Hmmm tunnels hey You don’t also like trains, do you ? Thats quite interesting in Freudian Analysis….
Anyway Sunita you could glide flying squirrel style off the helicopter into my welcoming ar…(Auntieji garrotts Uncleji with her Chuhi)
Al Mujahid, We do have a Charter of Rights and Freedoms, circa 1981, which I believe, does protect religious rights. If you have a suggestion, maybe you should look into it first. This incident had nothing to do with the Charter and our rights – it was racist and the referree acted on his bigotry, pure and simple. He didn’t consult the law and the legality of what he was doing before he acted, as most losers do not: he just did it cuz HE’S A F’N MORON. If this went as far as the courts, he would be toast! Having certain rights and freedoms, does not prevent people from violating them. I don’t understand your comment. Racist shit happens in the U.S. all the time despite the constitution. It’s just a piece of legislation to refer to – it doesn’t necessarily prevent any violations. Wus your point, Al Mujahabid?
Uncleji
Thank you for your kind offer but am allergic to alcohol(woe is me). also my kids now need my attention. Very nice to meet you!!
Sumita
Sumita,
Hmm. I don’t know. A woman should be able to wear whatever she likes (or to not wear, depending on the skimpiness of her outfit) without any man thinking he has the right to force himself on her, regardless of how aroused he may become by her. I don’t buy this “forces of nature” argument — and I’m speaking as a man. A woman’s provocative behaviour and/or dress may well elicit a physiological/psychological response in any men in her vicinity, and this “internal” reaction will be involuntary to a great extent; however, whether the guy subsequently chooses to do anything about it is under his voluntary control, and he therefore bears sole responsibility for his action (or inaction, as the case may be).
Despite the stereotype — and indeed cultural encouragement of this idea — in some parts of the world, men aren’t wild animals who become overcome with sexual urges beyond their control if sufficiently provoked by a woman. And if the woman is living in a society where there is less pressure on the men to “control themselves” in such situations, with simultaneous blame being placed on the woman for “provoking” the response, I think that indicates something pretty negative about the society and the culture in which the aforementioned people may live.
It’s basically encouraging men to behave like children, ie. not taking responsibility for their reactions and behaviour in these situations.
Jai
Could not agree with you more.
Sumita
Fudo’ have a sense of humour too….. from Gulf haven for exotic species After lunch at the pool, the Bahraini family was again sitting near me, the husband and children in swimming costumes, but the wife still completely covered.
Then the Filipina arrived, swathed in a black fishnet robe, an attendant padding behind her with a pile of towels.
Her hair was immaculate and around her neck hung a splendid string of pearls. She peeled off the fishnet robe to reveal a bathing costume that would have turned heads even in Rio de Janeiro, as it totally exposed her buttocks.
I looked over to the family to watch their reaction, expecting some expression of outrage.
But instead, from deep within the black shroud of the wife, a gurgle of laughter emerged that turned into a torrent of mirth, echoed by seabirds passing overhead.
Jai,
Discrimination for both men and women, is key.
It is gracious of you to acknowledge that women shoud wear whatever they want.Similarly gracious women will find the right balance of style, taste and eroticism in how their present themselves
Women have found many freedoms. They also need to learn to express these in beautiful ways, rather than childish rebellion.
Sumita
Jai
To add a bone to the discussion, please note my highlight. A smart woman recognises her role in this “shared responsibility” A man who thinks this is his sole reponsibility may be in danger of thinking women are merely “babes” with no choice, control and understanding of their realities. It is not a widespread danger yet, but very well might be.
Sumita
Sumita
Jay said
That turned out to be a hoax, the kid made it up so he could cut his hair.
Sumita Auntie,
I’m curious. If this were a live gathering of single, childless 20-somethings, would you similarly dominate the conversation and sanctimoniously talk at everyone? Would you even attend such an event?
I don’t think you would. I don’t think you’d want to be the sad Auntie that everyone feels sorry for (“Why is she even here?”) but tries to escape conversing with despite such sympathy (“OMG, don’t encourage her or she won’t stop.”) I think you’re better than that.
You initially said you wanted to get a sense for 2nd gen angst etc, because of your own two young children…I thought that was so progressive and sensitive of you. But if you’re genuinely trying to understand what we go through, short of asking the occasional question to clarify things, why would you overtake the very discussion you’re supposedly trying to observe?
I dont think Sumita is sanctimonious – I think she is nice and we cracked a few jokes together. She wants to escape by helicopter which is better than tunneling and this is good advice. And I personally do not mind if a few Aunties drop by because we all need an Aunty in the area once in a while. Dont be nasty to Aunty Sumitaji.
A smart woman recognises her role in this “shared responsibility”
I really don’t like the tone of this, it could so quickly slide into the “she asked for it because she was wearing a miniskirt” crap. I know that’s not what you’re saying, but you really are reducing men to animals if you think they have to rape every woman they see merely if they expose some flesh. I mean, I see plenty of ads for chocolate all day long, and people selling them in shops, and I’m constantly tempted. But I don’t have to freaking tear into every one I see when I’m drooling and my stomach is rumbling and my blood sugar is low, because I’m a responsible adult in civilized society, and therefore can control my desires. I’m with Jai — it’s the man’s sole responsibility. Europeans have nude beaches and the men don’t lose their minds, do they? There was an Indian blogger recently asking why men were so pervy and prone to assaulting women almost everywhere but Goa, where the sight of bikinis doesn’t provoke any response at all, and the guy wanted to know why Indian men were so different there. Most people can behave if society expects them to. But if you tell a group of men Allah wants them to forcibly cover their women because they can’t control their willies, then they’ll act accordingly, like the Saudis — hide the women at home, hump the prostitutes abroad.
Bachi, don’t be a meanie. We like having Aunty Sumita here. Dunno what she’ll ever learn from us tho. Declarative statements don’t leave much room for a question or discussion.
You better apologize for calling her “sanctimonious” or you’ll get two tight slaps, just wait!
Where was I nasty? Look, all I’m saying is, she should take her cue from Uncleji, who was widely welcomed and is quite adored. He brings alcohol to the party AND he’s funny.
I’m not going to comment the way I normally would if my MOM is here and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. Uncleji doesn’t inspire such reservations. I’m not anti-Auntie at all.
I’m glad to hear it. Aunties are vital. We need Aunties. Stop playa hating Aunties.
I wonder how many Aunties and Uncles lurk here?
Does it make you wary?
Are they spying on us?
Imagine them huddled together at one of those dinner parties whispering about what they read on this website – shame shame shame.
Thats actually really sweet (cho chweet!) but its not like they know who you are – so f**k it! Swear! Link to porn! Desribe how you are smoking a joint as you type!
(You never know they could be a wild Aunty type – you know the sort – every middle class Desi party has a wild Aunty with just a hint of Mrs Robinson to her)
Ha Ha Ha brilliant !
Oh yeah – all those who are playa hating Aunties and uncles – remember one day you will be an Aunty or Uncle too.
Chew on that young bloods! Your youth and beauty passes and you too shall have to move into the realm and role of Grumpy Uncle/Funny Uncle/Embarassing uncle/Bastard Uncle or Nagging Aunty/Hypocrite Aunty/Bitch Aunty/Flirty Aunty – so which one is it going to be eh?
Some people cannot face the truth – its like death – we cannot avoid it – I already feel the change when I am with my nephews. I am moving into the area of Feckless Bachelor Uncle – the one the relatives never mention for fear of the children asking too many questions about why he isnt married etc etc etc
Everything changes in the end.
Punjabi Boy stares at the ground…as the shadow of a hooded cloaked figure holding a scyth looms ever closer
Cheer up, O feckless one! I’ll pop over, bring drinks and we’ll show them that bachelor uncle and spinster aunty have still got some life to yet to live 😉
Oh my God you just reminded me – if there is one bigger leper in the desi system than Feckless Bachelor Uncle who is sometimes glimpsed by the children holding hands with a 19 year old blonde or Spanish girl it is Spinster Aunty!
Spinster Aunty is treated like the Mad Woman in the Attic in Jane Ayre – the perennial bad example – never to be mentioned or talked about and when the children ask after her the subject is changed quick time! Especially to daughters to whom she is a living example of what happens if you dont listen to what your Father and Mother tell you – the eternal example of the BDIW (Bad Disobedient Indian Woman).
In fact often the nephews or nieces of Spinster Aunty dont even know she exists until aged fifteen or sixteen.
On the middle class dinner party circuit Spinster Aunty is always seen with a glass of red wine in her hand and is feared by Holy & Normal Aunties because they know she was in love with a white man called Christopher for 12 years and has never recovered from it – when she is in the area they fear for their husbands – and as their son turns sixteen they fear for him too (thats why desi boys going through puberty love ‘family friend’ Spinster Aunty)
Yeah no doubt whatsoever Spinster Aunty – she is the best! Thanks for reminding me!
)
That sounds like a confession Punjabi Boy. So while the ladies was playing tash and the men was drinking and comparing property prices, a special auntyji was making you a man.
Boy have I been attending the wrong kind of Kitty Parties.
Thanks for the praise bachi but…. a 1970’s mercedes S-class screechs to a halt outside bachi home, Uncleji and his fudo nephew leap out (well Uncleji tumbles out). Using his highly oversized belly Uncleji smashes the door, as the fudo nephew uses his gatka skills unleash the Paratha of doom, spinning butter enhanced roti shapes which immobilse the victim with a calorific overload. Bachi is helpless as Uncleji buries him in flakes of hair fixer, as he whips out his tatee of doom (Punjabi boy will explain) and disfigures bachi youthful features.
So laid off my lady
Hey
laughing hard
Relax, no such fears. No sanctimonious lectures. Am happy to be taught.
Its all in fun.
Auntie Sumita
Uncleji
Are you really an uncle? I mean seriously? Or is it just a persona?
)
That sounds like the special Auntji to me. One hint of my rustic charms and my flowing beard and she’ll pine for Christopher no more.
I’m up for a drinkie as long its Mr Valker with at least two gallons of soda so that I pretend to drink you under the table.
Did you read that guys? Sumita is one of the Happy Reasonable Aunties – the Aunty who will take your side when you decide to marry a white man or a Mexican woman and your family do the whole ‘Get out of my house you are not my son/daugher anymore’ melodrama routine
Leave her alone – you might need her support one day 😉
Take my word for it, Auntie Sumita is hot.
…Damn…I knew she wanted too many cello lessons…
Ah-ho.
I don’t think Sumita’s old enough to be an “Aunty” in the strict sense of the jargon….
Punjabi Boy — Don’t forget “Randy Uncle” (gropes his friends’ twentysomething daughters, especially after he’s had a galassy or three), and “Paranoid Aunty” (ridiculously over-protective of her daughter — thinks you’re after the girl if you even glance in her direction).
Oh yeah: Made-it-big Uncle (“I came to this country with only £2.50 in my pocket and now I have 3 Mercs parked in the driveway) – currently being investigated for medical malpractice / tax fraud / insider trading.
Competitive Aunty (“My son’s been married for 5 years and has 3 kids, why isn’t your son married yet ?”).
Delusional Uncle/Aunty (“My daughter’s such a sweet and innocent little flower” — who was actually tearing the roof off at every club in Ibiza and Aiya Nappa with her gaggle of dodgy girlfriends this summer).
Social-climbing/Status-chasing Uncle/Aunty (“So…your son’s a doctor….Have you met my daughter ?”).
Well, while we’re discussing stereotypes, let’s not ignore the following:
Good Indian Son (GIS) :Became a doctor, had an arranged marriage to a girl he met in India while he and his parents were on a bride-hunting expedition, got engaged to her after meeting her 3 times, now they live with his parents. (Wife is secretly miserable because “It’s nothing like Mumbai / Delhi here”).
Bad Indian Female Family Friend (BIFFF) :Has made it her mission to sleep with the sons of all her parents’ desi friends. Experiencing quite a high success rate. Not too popular with the older generation, obviously. Aunties are terrified of her, except for Wild Aunty. BIFFF has a high probability of turning into Wild Aunty in her later years if she ever gets married.
Stubbornly Unmarried Son / Daughter (SUS/D) : Rapidly approaching 30 or is already in his/her early 30s. Engaged in battle of wills with his/her parents, refuses to have an arranged marriage to someone of their choice. Playing a game of chicken with parents to see who flinches first. Is often friends with BIFFF, Spinster Aunty, or Feckless Bachelor Son (or is indeed one of these people him/herself).
Born-Again Good Indian Girl (BAGIG) : Used to be BIFFF until marriage. Now denies all knowledge of her spreadin’-da-love premarital activities and insists she’s a dedicated wife. Husband (often Good Indian Son – GIS) is clueless about her previous extracurricular hobbies.
Dont forget Fundamentalist Uncle and Terrorist Aunty – they hit a certain age and dont shut up about religion and how their religion is so aggrieved and yadda yadda yadda
Spinster Aunty is still my favourite though.
ah-ho.
PB — Your comments about Wild Aunty is so true (the Mrs Robinson type) — you know, the tall leggy one who insists on turning up to the dinner parties wearing a really short mini-dress to show off her legs while all the other aunties are swathed in heavy silk sarees and shalwaar kameezes. We actually know someone like that — my mother, God bless her, tries to get me the hell away from her if she notices Wild Aunty giving me too much attention !
lol
I bet Sushmita Sen is going to turn into a Mrs Robinson-type Wild Aunty or Spinster Aunty when she’s older — you can already see the signs….;)
Good god, Jai Singh! I could swear you were at my mother-in-law’s last dinner party! 🙂
Except for the one character you forgot: Two-Faced Desi Beta/Beti
2FDB comes to the party in classic, respectable desi clothing. Eats nicely with their right hand only, helps all the aunties in the kitchen, engages all the uncles in one-track conversations, and while everybody is relaxing after the meal, they either sneak around the back of the garage to smoke pot/cigarettes or drink, or they take off, feigning a need to study, but instead they’re off to meet their skanky friends at some hole-in-the-wall club. When they meet their friends, they’ll tell stories about “the most sufferable stupid desi thing” they just came from…
Naaah – not Sushmita Sen – in twenty years time this lady is going to turn out to be Wild Aunty Number 1
No doubt about it – Bipasha Aunty has all the ingredients.
Good one DesiDancer!
And dont forget Career Uncle – the one who doesnt shut up interrogating you about what you want to do with your life and how you have to focus and blah blah blah and plan and yaa yaa yaa
Don’t mean to interrupt the family-banter, but speaking of Sikhs… Is there any way you (Anna or Manish or Vinod or Ennis or et al), can pop this news about GHANAIA and other hurricane-relief efforts into SM:
“…The North American chapter of UNITED SIKHS, an international non-profit human welfare organization, has launched the Katrina Hurricane Relief project, under its GHANAIA (Giving Humanitarian Aid Necessities and Assistance Impartially to All) initiative, setting its base camp at Baton Rouge, 85 miles North of New Orleans. This is the second major relief project conducted under the GHANAIA initiative, after the Asian tsunami disaster of 2004 (more…)”
There are a number of gurdwaras, from Florida to California, raising funds for hurricane relief and some, if not most, are funneling money through GHANAIA. Many Hindu temples in the States have Katrina Relief Funds, Hindu Swayamsevak Sangh USA in Houston is raising funds and working directly with refugees and SEWA USA has a nationwide, networked fundraising & relief effort underway. The Islamic Society of North America, the Muslim American Society and perhaps most notably, Islamic Relief (which includes (CAIR), have all initiated long-ranging and thus far, highly successful fundraising campaigns. In addition, a number of Indian-owned motels and hotels have agreed to house refugees and many individual business-owners are sending bulk aid-shipments (food, clothing, OTC medicine, child- & infant-care supplies, etc.), via private ground transportation and when published news about this is available, contact information will be posted.
Unfortunately and fortunately, the tsunami prepared most organizations for fundraising of this nature. Only a few are accepting funds for direct application toward specific inviduals and circumstances (e.g. the submerged New Orleans gurdwara and the approximately fifty Sikh families relocated from New Orleans and Biloxi to refugee-centers), the rest are collecting money for everyone. Spread the word and if you can give, do so.
DesiDancer — 2FDB is often identical to BIFFF. Her respectable persona is a front to enable her to infiltrate the desi inner circles and seduce their sons (often GIS) with her leggy wiles and promises to do “all the things their future arranged-marriage-wives won’t”….
Punjabi Boy — We can’t forget Coconut Uncle and his wife Coconut Aunty, who insist on being as “white” as possible in every aspect of their lifestyle and speech, despite being from the most hardcore desi background back in India you can image. Coconut Uncle and Coconut Aunty will absolutely insist on continuously speaking to all the other Uncles and Aunties in English even though they all speak Punjabi / Gujarati / whatever fluently. Coconut Uncle and Coconut Aunty are mortal enemies of Fundamentalist Uncle and Terrorist Aunty — like Superman and Lex Luthor.
i believe middle eastern women wear abayas not burquas. don’t know if it iz the same word for 2 things, they look the same to me.
Why thank you Christopher!!Am flattered.
But what cello lessons? That was the spinster aunty. Did you mix us up again?Darn.!! More attention needed.
And here is one bored auntie’s version of desi parties.
The men and woman separate and this is how the conversation goes :
The men discuss topics where they solve all world economic and social problems a-la movers and shakers.(banking, stocks, companies, desi-vs NRI life, who is going back to india, and bi*tch about taxes. They drink as though alcohol is going out of style.
The women huddle close together and discuss jewellery, movies, children and these days (ugh!) botox and plastic surgery. The conversation is canned and entirely predictable. Bored aunty keeps looking at her watch wanting to go home. At other times, she makes silly excuses(I have a laundry list of those) to get out of these parties. These days she has figured out the perfect way. Come late and leave early and blame it on the kids( they are tired and cranky)or the handiman who always has to come the day the party is on.
LOL
Auntie Sumita.
Dogday — You should log onto the Sikhnet. com Discussion Forum as soon as possible and post that message there as a “New Topic”. Plenty of people will read it — Sikhnet’s very popular.
Kind regards, Jai
Razib’s arrival reminds me of Scientist Uncle – with a Phd in Bio-Chemical Astro Physics from Cambridge or Harvard, he will stare at the wall for an age at a party and speculate as to the trigonometry of a samosa and when you crack a joke he says, ‘But that is not logical. How can a monkey speak? It is not Logical’
Good Lord! We’re all of you at the last party thrown by my Made-it-Big uncle?!!
Where I got yelled at by career uncle for being such a SUD while my cousins bitched about having to cover for me whever I snuck out for a cig, classic two-faced beti style?
Where my teenage boy cousins carefully approached me, wanting to talk about their non-desi girlfriends, since I’m so much older I may as well be their spinster aunty?? But we never got to talk cause their moms, my paranoid aunties whisked them away from my BDIW clutches?
Where Randy Uncle kept bringing me more drinks, while competitive aunty looksed smugly away from me to her shitty little BAGIG daughter??
SPIES!!
cicatrix
Can you feel the chill wind of Auntiedom on your face? It is slowly creeping up on you – not long to go now until you are no longer just cicatrix – you are Cicatrix Aunty with all that entails.
Ah, screw you, feckless bachelor Punjabi Uncle!
While you live in fear of being Randy Uncle, I will embrace my spinster status when it comes….which it won’t…not for at least another, 20 yea-… er, 15.. er…