Almost a century ago, my great grandmother was married to a boy of her family’s choosing. This would be totally unremarkable (not to mention irrelevant to the post I’m commencing) except she was a seven-year old bride. When she was eighteen and suitably “womanly” (read: able to reproduce), she went to live with her husband of more than a decade; though he is now gone, she still loves him very much. I remember being very disturbed by this story the first few times I heard it. My mother would always soothe me and say that it all occurred during another time, that the practice of marrying off children wasnÂ’t a part of modern India*.
*When I was a bit older, she explained the asterisk which was visible only in the guarded look her face took on whenever she said the phrase, “Modern India”; that fleeting change in her eyes represented the inevitable and unfortunate truth that “bad things” might still occur, but “only in rural, backwards places” which were still living in the shade of ignorance.
I was reading yesterday’s WaPo when I thought of all of this. The article I knew I’d write up for SM was about Savita Chaudhry, a striking 22-year old who at age 3 was arranged to marry a five-year old. Her matchmaking grandfather sealed the deal with a coconut and perplexed toddler-Savita spent the night with her new in-laws, to “consummate” the marriage symbolically before returning home with her parents. Everyone expected that Savita would willingly stand by her man once she was an adult, like my great-grandmother did.
I wonder if there were signs, when she was a wee three, that two decades later she’d grow up to be someone fierce.
Last year, the willowy young woman with the flashing dark eyes refused the entreaties of her “husband” and his family to join them in their village, several hundred miles from this small city in western India where she runs the family grocery shop. She is paying a steep price.
Not only does Chaudhry accuse her would-be in-laws of demanding money in exchange for her freedom, but the leaders of her caste — a powerful informal council known as a caste panchayat — have also threatened Chaudhry and her family with the ultimate sanction of excommunication, or ejection from the caste. Such an outcome would rob the family of its social standing and damage the marriage prospects of Chaudhry’s 18-year-old brother, among other things.
Ah, the dreaded “P”-word. Whenever “Panchayat” shows up on SM, it’s trouble, I tell you. Trouble for the woman whose fate is at stake, trouble for other women:
“She has to understand that she hasn’t even lived with him for one day, and she’s complaining about him. It’s definitely set a bad example.”
Which of the acronyms in the comment thread of my last post are applicable here? Let’s make up a new one: Righteous-has-a-backbone-girl, RHABG for short. Inelegant, but totally apposite.
Panchayats and caste, two of the things that contrast sharply to the India we quite understandably love to talk about on this blog. The former especially vexes me. India doesn’t need a parallel justice system, damn it, not when it’s going to punish innocents who are vulnerable second-class citizens. It always blows my mind that the same country where sex-selective abortions, dowry deaths and female infanticide occur once had a female head of state.
Perhaps change is in the air?
In the decades since independence from Britain in 1947, the central government has sought to replace (Panchayats) with a more representative system of elected village bodies called gram panchayats . The new system seeks to counter discrimination by reserving some seats for women and other vulnerable groups, such as the casteless Indians known as untouchables. Combined with urbanization and improved education, such efforts have eroded the standing of traditional councils in some areas and help explain Savita Chaudhry’s willingness to challenge an edict that once would have been heeded without question…
“Everything to do with household and family, all the intra-family disputes, is still very much controlled by the caste panchayats,” said Ranjana Kumari, the head of the Center for Social Research in New Delhi, who asserts that women are usually the victims in such cases. “This very undemocratic, very patriarchal and extremely hierarchical system should be abolished.”
Preach on, sister. I’m sick of reading articles in the NYT and the “good” Post about some powerless woman getting raped or otherwise punished because a few unnecessarily important assho1es with Y-chromosomes deem it necessary.
By the way, it’s not like Savita wrote her groom off automatically:
“I don’t consider myself married,” said Chaudhry, who has no memory of the ceremony. “I was 3 years old. It was more like a game than a marriage.”
Nevertheless, the families remained in loose touch; two years ago, Chaudhry decided that she wanted to get to know the man to whom she had been pledged as a child. For the first time in eight years, she said, the couple got together at the home of her uncle in the southern city of Bangalore, where Pappu worked in a sari shop. But the reunion did not go well.
Pappu sounds like a real champion– he asked his lovely bride to hit her father up for over $1,800 AND told her that he disapproved of her bold, unladylike behavior. You see, she had the NERVE to approach him without her hair covered.
“It made a very bad impression on me,” Chaudhry said. “He was okay-looking, to be honest, but his conversation made no sense.”
Savita Chaudhry has one of the advantages I think is key when it comes to challenging the system; her family supports her.
Soon afterward, Chaudhry tore up Pappu’s photograph and told her parents she would not go to live with him, a decision they supported. But he and his family insisted that she honor her commitment and move to their village in Rajasthan, members of both families recalled.
Savita’s parents visited her would-be in-laws at the end of last year and offered them more than $2,000 to call the whole thing off, which is apparently a perfectly legitimate compromise within their caste. Pappu’s family, to the surprise of no one, demanded several times that amount. Of course, when WaPo called up Pappu’s mom for the story, she denied everything except pressuring her daughter-in-law to move in with them. What, asking a bride’s family for more money?? Unheard of!
The panchayat in Rajasthan sided with Pappu’s family and referred the matter to the caste council in Himatnagar, which last month summoned the young woman’s mother to its meeting place at a Hindu temple and threatened her with excommunication.
“These things are not good for the community,” explained Lal, 38, the member of the Himatnagar panchayat and a labor foreman. “They have to understand it’s not so easy to break off a relationship.”
But Savita Chaudhry said she was determined to do just that, having fallen in love with another man. “It’s very unfair,” she said of the council’s threats. “I’m not some cow or goat.”
I’m wishing with all my heart that Savita’s story gets a happy ending, like Nisha Sharma’s did. I don’t want her to be a hapless victim who gets tortured, strung up or otherwise “made an example of”. I hope she gets to marry the man she actually loves. That would be nice, wouldn’t it?
Not to be an ass, but you know someone’s itchin’ to bring out their sabers for an honor killing right about now. I prefer the japanese method, where the person who feels dishonored kills himself for letting themselves be degraded, not the person who made him lose the honor which he didn’t have in the first place.
Has anyone noticed when news of this kind comes out a lot of the uncles and aunties get defensive all of a sudden and talk about not hanging “our country’s dirty laundry” in front of the world to see. But that never stopped them from talking about the latest gossip and exchanging business in the temple while an incontinent panditji drones in the background about showing humility in front of god. Sepukku: Its not just for samurais anymore.
lol – Pappu’s mother had a hard time marrying off her 3 sons: gee, I wonder why? And “his conversation made no sense?” – smart girl.
Anyways, this girl rawks – much more so than the apprentice lady, that everyone prefers to rant about. She’s very courageous, and her family is obviously caring and supportive, to boot. No wonder she had the confidence and strength to blossom into the young woman she is today.
Also see these previous posts on Nisha Sharma and Hind el-Hinnawy.
i think its awesome for the woman but the Post running this story is orientalism
Beta, this is India. Nobody gets to marry the man they want. What would happen to society if everybody was simply to just get married whenever they fell in love? Hai Ram! Everything would fall apart! That is why we rely on parents to make a lasting, sensible match for their children.
The only difference between a ‘caste panchayat’ and a elected panchayat is that the latter is elected and can have people from any caste in it (as opposed to only the upper caste).
Both panchayats deal out equally backwards and asanine decisions.
They need to get rid of panchayats all together and get real courts, however its unlikely that this will happen because India is too poor to afford it.
And also because in post-indipendence indian political thought self-reliance, and self-sufficiency are seen as being more important than ‘Swatantrata’.
A women in the top doesnt mean that she cares for the upliftment of women. She is elected in the first place, because of her Family background and not because she wants to do good for people.
Be it Srilanka, Bangaldeh, India , Pakistan. Each country has seen women at the top position. But did they do anything for those age old atrocities taking place against women, I dont think so….
But I could vouch one thing, this land of liberty (Amreeka) would never see a women at the top. Be it Hillary or whomever.. Those conservative christians would never allow this to happen. But time and time again, South asia will have women always coming to the top position.
The society has to change for the better. People at the top are not the solutions for these age old problems. People at the top come to power in the first place to make money (its a career to make money) and not for the upliftment of the people.
I think panchayats are being confused with biradaris.
I believe panchayats (small local elected bodies) are generally a good thing. The devolution of power along with the Freedom of Information laws are transforming Indian villages. Panchayats for the most part ensure that corruption is spotted and prevented. It beats the old system of giving all the money and power to VDOs (Village Development Officers), who were quite often corrupt and or apathetic.
Biradaris on the other hand are voluntary caste organizations. They have no legal power. They are social networks that help parents find spouses for their children. They provide financial aid and other help in emergencies. Lot of the stuff that would normally be provided by the state in West.
Biradaris also serve as informal sources of capital, and usually are less usurious than the money-lenders. Indian debt collection mechanisms are weak and slow. And entities are less willing to lend money if they fear that they will be unable to collect. India does not have a well developed credit rating system, not for individuals. (I am guessing that by now they’ve have come up with a rating system for credit card holders in cities.) Biradaris then also function as a kind of credit rating system. And your “name” is your credit score.
And now on to some minor things.
Could a case be made that the girl is breaking a contract? Although I am sure that the marriage is invalid in the first place, because I think the legal age for marriage is 18.
The way I see it the Chaudrys are members of a voluntary organization whose edicts they do not agree with, and so are being threatened with the “ultimate sanction of excommunication”. Only excommunication is being threatened! There is no legal penalty. No threat of force (yet) according to the article.
Savita’s parents are willing to pay 2,300 USD to back out of the “contract” and Pappu’s parents are asking for 9,200 USD. If both families can’t come to a financial agreement, Savita’s parents would, I gather, have a hard time finding a wife for their son. And even Pappu will have trouble finding another wife, because he has to overcome the stigma of being cuckolded along with the stigma attached to his unfortunate name.
How much are SavitaÂ’s parents willing to pay to ensure the smooth marriage for their son? I suspect that amount is nearly the same amount that is needed to get Pappu remarried. This is exactly where we need the panchayat, to conduct these arbitrations. I see a deal happening right around the 4,000 USD mark.
I would really like to know what the final agreed upon amount in this case is. If a dowry is payment to get your daughter married. I think we are about to find out how much parents in this biradari are willing to pay get their sons married.
How is running the article Orientalism? Is that a fancy word for ‘don’t air our dirty laundry’ (see comment #1).
Anyhoo, this is one strong willed young woman, and good for her, I say.
The last comment was directed to Raju. Just curious as to the answer 🙂
MD,
Although your question was for Raju here is my answer.
Emdee didi,
I didn’t use the “O” word, but I did cringe a bit when I read the following paragraphs in the story:
I kept tripping over the “coconut”. Was it necessary to the story? A detail that added to the exotic element of this tale? My heart tells me it’s the latter. 🙁
Anna, You asked
As you noted in your answer … Of course it is to “exotify” the story … “zoo-fy” a group
The “learned” author also noted the following (this beastly religion is part of their exotic appeal) :
Clearly the author is a wannabe writer who trying to demonstrate her “vast cultural knowledge” – but still, Savita rawks!
Has anyone noticed when news of this kind comes out a lot of the uncles and aunties get defensive all of a sudden and talk about not hanging “our country’s dirty laundry” in front of the world to see.
More than Uncles and Aunties, its the uber patriotic FOBs who take umbrage at the ‘dirty laundry being aired’.
Could a case be made that the girl is breaking a contract? Although I am sure that the marriage is invalid in the first place, because I think the legal age for marriage is 18.
Minors cant form contracts to begin with.
which is why, as annoying as the article’s tone was, i had to post about her. i’d rather focus on this awe-inspiring woman vs anything else, hence my letting YOU guys write the “orientalism” angle.
my original draft had something about the “coconut”…i took it out on update # 3. i wanted my words to be about savita. i knew you commenters would handle the rest. 😉
Point well take ANNA!
I guess I don’t expect much from journalists – most of the articles I read in the Boston press about local docs, are, uh, exoticized, in one way or the other. I think of it not as Orientalism, but the fact that most journalism, is, well, mediocre at best. Sorry journalistas, but I’ve seen good doctors burned by bad stories one too many times to trust ya’ll too much.
Ok, my last comment was not clear. What I meant was some of the details may not have needed to be there, but most of what I read in the paper strikes me as superficial and unnecessary, not just stuff about the browns. Ever read a mainstream press piece about the military. Reading all these military blogs cover these stories had made me realize there are a lot of cultures the journalistas know nothing about.
MD,
I read a military blog (limited readership by permission only). The writer in Iraq conveys real anxiety and struggles better than most of the newspaper reporting. Even for Katrina, he seemed more pained and talked about Captain America.
You are correct. Few journalists have insights or even an eye and ears for fine points. Some do…
Aside, Savita is really bold. Hope the village elders back off.
Ok, last comment. Really.
Why is it orientalism to write about ambling livestock or coconuts if that is what indeed happened – a coconut was exchanged or ambling livestock was there? I don’t mind these details as long as they are true and as long as the writer would use the same details in an article about, say, Sweden. But then I am deferring to you good folk. Really, never did have much in the humanities way of education – mostly I was memorizing the Kreb’s cycle and dissecting frogs and learning to put in IVs. Is it that these are the only kinds of details we see about browns and not the whole panapoly, such as on the good SM?
Again, not a snark. I am learning a lot from you guys. Thanks.
I do not mind coconut and livestock description, if it was there. Not a fabrication. You cannot have India without its smells, crowd, etc, just clinical……only in Bollywood (where India is like London)
When Ernest Hemingway went into details of Spain or Gabriel Garcia Marquez describes South America, you walk you through a culture. Incidently, both are (were) journalists.
I suppose it might scrape by (to the undiscerning eye) as simply colourful writing. But, to somewhat answer your question, yes, it’s typical to write about India in this exoticized fashion. And it’s usually the same info being regurgitated over and over again: ie. cows roving the streets, etc, etc. It seems like an attempt to make India as different/polarized from the west as possible in a sad attempt to make the story more interesting. (I’m no humanities expert either, so maybe someone else can elaborate). It’s the “fashionable” way to write about asians. On a related note, it’s also fashionable for photographers to add a India photos to their resume. You always see the same photo of the Indian women with a nose ring, frightened kohl-rimmed eyes, and of course, bright red and yellow sari. Such photographs say nothing about India,yet a lot of people are impressed by the “cultural depth” and experience of the photographer. I think the same goes for the journalist, perhaps.
Thanks Angie and Kush, I see the objection now (and Kush, I love Hemingway, always have preferred minimalism in writing).
It’s a lot like books these days: there is a fashion for Indian things in the US and it’s always the same book cover with the red sari, etc – frankly, I’m bored by it and I still prefer good old Ruth Prawer Jhabvala or Bharati Mukherjee. Please explain to me how any of the ‘new’ writers are any different or better than those two old stalwarts? (Never read much of the magic realist types, just not my thing. I get irritated with it for some reason).
Within the hindu experience, eight different forms of marriages are recognized. Although only four are deemed ‘dharmic’, all eight were legalized by Chanakya several millenia ago, citing that a child from any marriage should not be made to suffer socially for any mistakes the parents might have made.
Key point to note: each marriage where the girl has expressed unwillingness, a forced union would be deemed ‘a-dharmic’ under hinduism. Any marriage where both the girl & her family are antagonized by the boy’s family is regarded as a “paisaca” marriage, the lowest form of all marriages. In cases like these, localized jati/ biradari rules are superseded & transcended by ‘hindu’ rules & practices.
I agree with tef’s take on this – no violence has been threatened to date. The very fact that the savita’s family has moved to an urban area & set up shop may well be a case where her family was perhaps supported financially by the rest of the biradari to set up the urban retail outlet.
Unlike the author, we should not rush to crucify without knowing the full details.
Sanjay, I’d love to read more– can you hook up some links?
MD,
there’s a lot of evidence on the topic, Edward Said’s book Orientalism is pretty good. Its not a screed by any stretch.
Certain themes continue to pop up and have the fascination of for lack of a better term “western” audiences. The reason I personally thought it was orientalism is because I read many of those themes in the article. And I don’t know why this theme was chosen. The Wapo is a busy newspaper and the stories from india get filed in just a few categories. One of them being the fascination with indian patriachy but done in a crude way. Thats just one the “old reliable” themes.
I don’t think its “don’t air our dirty laundry”. To the extent the Wapo is running a critique of patriarchy thats great. But among other things, the Wapo is not known for critiquing patriarchy very well.
I think its more complex then; good article/bad article but I do think Orientalism is a valid process that continues to occur that plays into the mix.
Raju, thanks much. Never been a fan of Orientalism….in general I think newspapers pare things down for everything and have certain stock narratives: for browns, whites, etc. Look at the articles about, say, France or Italy in this country. Does it seem to fit any kind of reality or is it just as “orientalist” as what is written about India? One of the problems I have with Orientalism is that often it is used to say: don’t talk about this or that. Many thought Edward Said did this with the Palestinians, but I stay out of that argument, because, well, as crass as this sounds I really don’t care about the issue of Israel Palestine in the way lots of people do.
Anyway, thanks everyone who answered. Appreciate it.
MD,
I think the articles about france or sweden might be biased in their own way but I don’t think its “Orientalist” in the specific meaning of the term.
i think race is a fascade. whenever there is a conflict between “groups” the supposed differences become racialized. to use the age old arguement, there is a case to be made that when irish and italian, as well as eastern europeans immigrated to the US, they Nativist movement had tendencies to make the differences between groups into almost racial categories
i know this is a humorless respons
Well its good to see that the girl had the backbone to reject the guy. Most stories involving rejection in desi marriages that i’ve heard of was because of the guy. As far as the issue of panchayats go I agree that village anchayat needs to be replaced w/courts. And if any one wants a caste panchayat for what ever purposes should feel free to do so. it would infringe on any groups right to association.
Caste panchayats typicaly take care of issues pertaining to their caste(s). so if they decide to issue a ‘jaat nikala’, btw there is no formal process of excommunication in hinduism. Several caste panchayats have been split following a dispute. The result is there are two or more groups who adhere to a different panchayat. Caste panchayats often are not a parallel justice system as the article suggests. most of the time it concerns the management of temples/money. Village panchayat however is and it is not parallel, the constitution has given them legal authority. Just for info I lived in rural haryana till i was in my 20’s. and i saw groups being split into what can be labeled progressive and orthodox panchayats several times. And mutineers were successful in changing the nature of there organizations several times
I saw this story in The Hindu – Sunday magazine. There was no accompanying pic (of Savita – just some generic child-marriage thingie: Savita looks great BTW) and also nothing about her finding the boy’s conversation pretty content-free :-). Cool! Go Savita.
What? Sanjay, its time to crucify baby! If the ‘wedding’ happen back when she was a child, and if anyone is forcing her to go live with someone, crucify big-time. Who cares if the biradari helped setup any shop (BTW this never appeared anywhere so…)so what the hell? There is nothing redeemable about the guy or his family or the panchayat which should really be given a special jail-ride for ‘judging’ the case as they did.
And regarding the coconut and ambling lifeforms comment, I proclaim (er..suggest) A N N A is right, and MD and Kush are not – who cares if those details are accurate? why was it necessary to the story? I think the principle applied to design – remove until you can remove no more – also applies to journalism. Would the story lose anything without the coconut reference? or without the animals? I think the journo is a writer wannabe who shall remain so.