Boys, the era of “uh-huh” is over and you have one of your own to thank for it {Thanks, Srinath + Anon}.

Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are developing software for cell phones that would analyze speech patterns and voice tones to rate people — on a scale of 0 to 100 percent — on how engaged they are in a conversation.

Anmol Madan, who led the project while he pursued a master’s degree at MIT, sees the Jerk-O-Meter as a tool for improving relationships, not ending them. Or it might assist telephone sales and marketing efforts.

HA. You’re all busted. No more mindlessly muttering, “uh-huh…yup…wow.. .huh” while your significant other chatters on– the Jerk-O-Meter is listening! Thanks to the magic of mathematical algorithms, the program can measure stress levels, how often one speaks and how empathetic a person’s voice sounds…if it doesn’t hear dulcet tones, the Jerk-O-Meter admonishes users to be nicer via pop-up messages on their phones. This isn’t all bad news, though. The Jerk-O-Meter could be a boon to the back, since its use could prevent a night spent on the couch.

“Think of a situation where you could actually prevent an argument,” he said. “Just having this device can make people more attentive because they know they’re being monitored.”

A penguin was involved:

The prototype version of the program runs in Linux on a phone plugged into Voice over Internet service. Once the Jerk-O-Meter is completed, in six months or so, Madan envisions selling it as software that could be downloaded off the Internet — a potentially useful tool for focus groups, telemarketers and salesmen.

Pish posh. It’s such a useful tool, it’s going to become a best-seller with pissed off girlfriends, trust me. 😉