Outrageous, bold and deadlyÂ…no wonder the media loves it. Every single time I turn on the TV or glance at Google News, I catch the latest development in the saga of Jennifer and George Hyatte, the outlaw married couple whose adventurous last few days read like a gangsta rap wet dream.
A US inmate has escaped after his wife shot dead a guard who was escorting the prisoner outside a courthouse in the state of Tennessee, authorities say.
Police say George and Jennifer Hyatte fled the scene in Kingston in a vehicle which was later found abandoned.
A hunt is under way for the former prison nurse and the escapee, who is described as “extremely violent”.
After that daring escape, the terrible twosome was on the run; they headed to Ohio (said, A, O, way to go Ohio) and got in a cab with one deliciously skeptical Mike Wagers. Wagers, their driver, made small talk that would later lead to a dramatic capture:
“The cover story they gave me didn’t really seem to wash too much,” Wagers told The Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith Thursday. “I mean, I could kinda see through that. But I had no indication that these guys were really dangerous or they were on the run.”
They claimed they were heading to a sales conference of Amway, the household goods manufacturer. But, says Wagers, “They didn’t strike me as the Amway type, because, to be honest, they weren’t very pushy about their product. And I’ve dealt with (Amway salespeople) before. So that was my only real suspicion.
Genius.
What about you? Have you enjoyed the fervent courtship of an Amway-ite? I know they’re everywhere but I was never approached, annoyed or harassed until I moved back to DC this year. It started near the Pentagon. I had returned to my second hometown for a wedding, but ended up extending my ticket because I was enjoying myself. The only problem? I had flown here in mid-Autumn. When it was still “nice”. I came with one suitcase, filled with Kanchipuram and pajamas, since theoretically I’d always either be at some wedding function OR I’d be sleeping. Silly me, I didn’t bring a coat.
On one memorable weekend jaunt to Costco, I couldnÂ’t take the shivering any longer, so I wandered over to the other side of Pentagon Centre, to the closest clothing store. Mindlessly, I tried on jackets, fiddling with zippers, testing hoods, debating choices in front of the full length mirror.
“That one is nice,” a very timid, sweet voice commented.
I turned around to find a petite, pottu-wearing, curly-tressed South Indian woman with a stroller. I thanked her and thought about buying the coat she had complimented, since I was in a hurry to get out of there. I smiled past my reflection in the mirror, at the pure and virtuous picture she presented. She was rocking the stroller back and forth behind me and she looked hesitant. My heart started to melt. Had it been difficult for her to approach me? She was so quiet, I was shocked that she had randomly said anything to a stranger, even if it was a brown one. It just didnÂ’t seem consistent with her demure image; she was the exact opposite of scenery-masticating me.
I took the coat off and started to walk away, on my way to the registers.
“Escuse me, are you from India?”
I whirled around and smiled again. I actually hate that question, but she was too nice to hate on…”My parents were from Kerala. And you?”
“Oh, I am from Chennai!” she replied eagerly. It was clear that I wasn’t going to be leaving the store anytime soon, especially after she blurted out how she’s new to the DC area and didn’t know anyone. The story just kept yanking on my elastic heart strings; she was younger than me, away from her family, a new mother, friendless and intimidated by swamp city—a place I have always maintained is ruder than NYC, but that’s another post—I was totally her bitch by the time she finished expelling her breathless tale.
When she asked me if I’d like to come to dinner sometime, I did that bizarre internal double-take where I immediately knew that if this person weren’t South Asian, I wouldn’t even consider it. I didn’t have the time to get in to an examination of my personal biases so I told her “maybe” and resolved to debate myself later, when I wasn’t rushing around with a to-do list.
“Oh, but you MUST come to our home!” a voice boomed, from somewhere near Junior Sportswear. It was a man, obviously husband and father to the two I had been gazing at for the last few minutes. He introduced himself as Hari and said that he had overheard me say that I was Mallu. “And…what is it that you do?”
I laughed nervously. This was my one-year sabbatical (a concept that no Brown adult besides my saintly mother grasped) and I hated that question, too. “I’m in town for the week…I work at Scores,” I replied mischievously. I had guessed that he wouldn’t have the foggiest idea what that meant, from the lack of recognition on his face, I was right.
“Uh, okay. Well, are you interested in increasing your income? I own a business and IÂ’m trying to hire a few people. My wife seems to really like you, so you’re probably a great candidate!”
He handed me a very boring business card that told me nothing besides his full name and cell-phone number. I disregarded the “holdings”, “limited” and other nonsense.
I was starting to get uncomfortable; my friends would undoubtedly be wondering where the hell IÂ’d wandered off to and something about his card and demeanor was making my spider sense tingle.
“THERE you are, ANNA!”
Startled, I turned around to see one of my friends. He looked at the couple oddly and then stared at me with a gaze so meaningful, I knew something was up, I just wished I knew WHAT.
“We’re leaving, now. We’ve been waiting for you, let’s go. She has to go.”
“But…my…coat?”
“No time, we’re late.” And with that, the outerwear was snatched out of my hand, its hanger hooked haphazardly on a display that showed off J.Lo separates.
“Nice…meeting you!” I called out, as I was unceremoniously yanked out of the store.
Once outside, I demanded an explanation.
“They weren’t being social, TRUST ME. They’re probably doing some Multi-level Marketing crap…anyway, if you knew how much trouble I just saved you from, you’d be thanking me.”
Um, okay. Whatever.
Back into Costco I strolled, still shivering. I temporarily forgot my goose flesh and became transfixed by the Chanel bag that was locked in the display case near the front. IÂ’ve been to Costco stores in four states and NO other location carries Chanel purses, for CocoÂ’s sake. The D.C. Costco must be respected, y’all.
“Are you from India?”
What the-?
A South Asian man was smiling at me. He told me that his name was Sanjay, he was from India and that he lived in the area.
“What do you do?” Sanjay asked.
“Oh, are you KIDDING ME?” it was my erstwhile Kshatriya in shining armor (if by armor we mean Paper, Denim and Cloth). Sanjay was suddenly very excited.
“Hello, are you from India too?” he started to reach for his business cards.
“No,” my friend snapped. “I’m from the United States of AMWAY SUCKS.”
I started to walk away and I didnÂ’t turn around as SanjayÂ’s voice grew more desperate, louder.
“You don’t know what you’re missing—extra income! You should judge for yourself by meeting with me!”
Somewhere in the bakery, when we had successfully put the entire store between us and Pushy McPusherson, my exasperated friend turned to me and said, “Twice. In less than twenty minutes. It’s unbelievable, like they can smell you or something. You HAVE to stop talking to these people.”
I was still too befuddled by the insanity of the past hour to really listen to him. I couldn’t stop pondering this new truth that my mind refused to wrap around—“Brown people sell Amway?”
:+:
Apparently, they do. While browsing around today, I learned that the blogger behind Instant Kaapi (don’t you just lurve the name?) Hemanth has walked in my shoes, and unlike awkward, stumbling me, baby, he can strut:
What are the chances of you being approached by fellow Indians with a ‘Business proposition’ at a Barnes & Noble or a Borders Bookstore, five times in a day! I would say pretty good
HemanthÂ’s post, When you hate “earning extra Money”! has the best suggestion that IÂ’ve ever encountered for dealing with these uncomfy situations:
X: Anyway hemanth, I would love to be in touch with a Business man like you. Can I have your phone number and email?
I offer a smile, ask him for a pen and a piece of paper, write down the Phone Number and the Email ID from the Card he just handed over to me, on a piece of paper and exit the Store.
Genius.
Hi,
Over the years, I have lost friends (or ones I thought were friends) due to Amway. I just break my contacts with them. Most of them have been from Indian origin but they have been others (non-Indian) too. I have seen reach of Amway in India and South Africa.
I have had long distance calls from Indians regarding Amway. Once I was invited to an Indian party but it was Amway brainwashing session. It was horrible and I got really upset. You cannot even breathe.
Kush
look out, not only is the scourge of Amway hitting the desi scene hard, Quixtar is Amway’s competitor and from my experience there are tons of desi’s involved in this scheme…and they trash amway to make you feel more comfortable about entering their pyramid scheme. And since the author of the Rich Dad,Poor Dad series runs Quixtar, they try to use that to legitimize their business. My wife’s friend was trying to get us on it! What kind of friends are those!?
Here’s some Amway/MLM jokes…
M. Nam
Watch out for the Quixtar people at Barnes & Noble! They always tell you they’re in “E-business,” which at one time probably sounded impressive…
I even got accosted by a Pyramid scheme guy at a New Jersey Gurdwara once… madness.
Didn’t realize this was so prevalent… So I’m waiting for the 6 train home (NYC) couple of years ago, I guess during the dotcom era. And this chubby Indian guy ambles over to me and asks me if I’m Indian. Usually when women ask me the same question, I say “No, I’m horny”…but I assured him I was. More detailed questions about my age, background, and profession followed. He told me he’s starting a startup and needed young, hardworking men to fill a variety of positions in the org…so silly cash-strapped me thought of him as possibly legit…hey man who doesn’t conduct job interviews in the Union Square station???
Next day he calls me up and asks me if I can go to a sales meeting after work. I boldly said yes. He picks me up in the corner of midtown with one other chap who turns out to be a Indian of Iraqi Jewish descent. And a complete madman. Dude has half his body out of the car, Dukes of Hazard style hollerin’ at passing woman down Lexington Avenue. Our sales meeting turns out to be in the boondocks of Jersey at some Marriott. Over there I find out it’s all just some “e-business” pyramaid internet market scheme. The audience was filled with hundreds of Indian and African immigrants nodding her heads to the teleevangelic speaker and taking notes. Stuck in the middle of nowhere I retreated to the hotel bar to down some Coronas.
The two clowns I came with finally gave me a ride back to the city at 10. Oof.
Dateline NBC did a piece on QUIXTAR sometime back. If I remember correct they are the same people who started AmWay. !!! Watch Out !!!!
I get attacked by these Amway people all the time. They seem to hang out everywhere – parks, Indian stores, malls, theaters, driving ranges on golf courses, Costcos, Best Buys, laundromats – on weekends.
that’s awesome ANNA! between your story and Instant Kappi, I think I’ve concocted a perfect scheme for getting rid of these guys, should they ever jump me.
Now if only I had a better way to snub those irritating college kids who hit you up for Children International at every bloody street corner in Manhattan.
Last year this seemingly respectable middle aged alumnus contacted the Austin chapter of my college alumni association. Apparently, he was a Veep in some two-bit IT outfit based out of Austin and wanted to volunteer and create more activities etc. for the alumni association. A few of my pals were quite gung ho about it. This guy invites everyone to Sunday brunch, and the few guys that landed up were mostly grad students in their early twenties. This guy then made them split the lunch bill.
Then this guy handed out his business card to everyone around him and asked them if they would be interested in ‘making extra money’. Then he proceeds to outline the bizzare pyramid scheme that will generate millions for these guys in the years to come. Disturbingly enough, some of these guys actually went ahead and got enrolled! They went through some stupid brainwashing deal with ‘motivational tapes’ about how to approach your friends, pressurize them and then corner them. I cannot believe this shtick works on people that go to grad school! Some got their PhDs!
I am now convinced that intelligence has very little to do with academic degrees.
Hi,
In graduate school, my office mate and I even went to a Marriott Amway meeting. This one we did totally for fun and the meeting was very cult-like. We were the only ones not taking notes and smiling. It was definitely hilarious. The invitation originated from a phone call from Roorkee alum in States who I hardly knew or even could put a face to him. My office mate and I wanted to try check the scene for babes (that was our only reason to attend the meeting). We stuck around for 10-15 minutes and then escaped.
The Indian dinner party I was talking about earlier had one white “John and Mary” couple who were very happy to meet all these enterprising immigrants (or associates).
Kush
clearly i’m an oblivious fool b/c i have NO idea what amway is. it’s one of those words that sounds vaguely familiar but i must concede my ignorance in this case. anyone want to bring some clarity to my befuddlement?
What Amway is.
Jt, Don’t worry. I had never heard of Amway either. 🙂
Here in Austin, there’s a dude hanging around in Walmart. First time he meets me in the kitchen section, he asks me are you working in Dell?(I am not. Amway alarm ON). I purposely lied, “Yes”. That guy goes, “aah, I think I’ve seen u somewhere in Dell. blahblah..blah” (Confirmed, this guy is amway, I manage to get myself out).
Same Walmart..next month. “Are you working in Intel?” (Again, I am not). I say yes, and the same standard line repeats. I remind him that last month he saw me in Dell. This time he manages to get himself out 🙂
I tell you these Amway guys..uughh !! they can’t even remember their past victims.
A few months ago, two desi guys chatted me up in a fancy mall outside Detroit. I didn’t quite know why– it was much longer than the usual friendly conversation, I knew they were selling something, but wasn’t sure what.
Their story was they were selling outsourcing services, but in retrospect the mall is a strange place to do so. I’m now wondering whether it was MLM, and they didn’t finish the sales pitch because I wasn’t a local.
Interesting. I never get aproached, even when I see them hassling people right next to me. Must be my pronouced lack of energy, enthusiam, enterprise or drive. Maybe with the brainwashing, they teach you how to sense these things, like a Jedi. Or an Operating Thetan.
Jehovas Witnesses, however, zoom to me like I’m effn Magneto. Wish I knew why.
My first epxerience with Amway was at the university library. While studying for an exam, and an Indian grad student approached me and asking me questions about what I was studying. Very loud fellow, and I was just trying to get him to shut up… because it was a library. Unfortunately when he asked for my phone number, I gave it to him in the hope he would leave me alone.
He did. For a week. Then the calls began. He invited me to hear a presentation at his apartment. Oh how naive was I.
The Amway pitch began amongst a small crowd. Luckily, none of the audience was fooled. Instead of making a break for it, I enjoyed my time arguing trivial details and glaring absurdities from every slide he showed (something I also love to do with the Jehovah Witness people). The audience was mine. Then I left before foul play could befall me.
Desi couple, in the country for less than 6 months, get my number from mutual acquaintance and invite me over for dinner during which he will share with me a business proposition. Suspicion erupts like chicken pox on a five-year-old. The moment guy puts the words “detergent” and “percentages” in the same sentence, I tell him I’m not interested in his pyramid scheme and that that’s what it is.
Guy gets defensive and tells me, in effect, that I’m just an igorant girl. I remind him that I’ve been in the country a lot longer than he has and ask: “Do you really think that you are the first opportunistic Indian to pull this on me?”
Kills me that they think they are IN ON SOMETHING GOOD and that they were the first to get there.
I have a lot more Amwayville Horror stories, an epic that crosses decades, races and generations.
Dude Suhail! I was so pissed I nearly started the Austin Scientific Society For Amway Rejecting Techniques (ASSFART) where we’d use high school math and economics to explain why the deal does not work.
rofl!!!!
(yes my sense of humor is that of a pre-teen male. so what)
Aha! The Indian connection thickens! Check out the Guardian story.
Excerpt: Motel manager Kundan Desai said Wagers checked the couple in around lunchtime, paying cash for a three-night stay in a room that runs $52.99 a night. … The Hyattes were arrested at the America’s Best Value Inn in Columbus…
DDA, I hereby nominate you for the president of that society. Me? I’ll be the treasurer 🙂
Ok, I have never been approached by Amway people and nor had I heard of Amway before I read this. After reading all this I have a question. If Amway can find so many people to distribute their products (associates?) its obvious that someone gets to collect the (entrance fee?) from these people. So does that person make some easy money ?
Sure Suhail. You can start by addressing me as Your Sublime Flatulence.
AMFD: Yeah, if you are at the top of the pyramid, i.e. the root of all evil, then you collect piles of cash from unsuspecting fools. For more info call 1-800-ASS-FART (ok this is getting peurile…the last time I say it 🙂 )
Back to the Jennifer & George story … the motel they were apprehended at was managed (owned?) by one “Kundan Desai”
DDA, gawd..you are toOO much.
AlMujahid, You have not lived fully if you have not been Amway-ed, seriously. It’s an experience everyone must go through once in their lifetime.
My husband was caught in a rainstorm in Chennai some years ago and agreed to share an rickshaw with another poor drenched soul. Wouldn’t you know it, the co-passenger turned out to be an Amway salesman! Ever the Amway-humorist, hubby decided to take a lighter view of it and took the opportunity to argue the finer points of MLM when – to his horror – the rickshaw driver turned around and started off on a sales-pitch as well!! Needless to say it was a long ride home.
FANTASTIC acronym. 😀
This post is awesome. Sounds like all these shady desi tech-type dudes in the Bay… is that Amway, or some tech pyramid thing? When they approach and ask the question, I just glare at them and subtly shoulder-shove them as I walk away … so I never really figured out what they want … ?
can we make it the American Scientific Society instead? I’d hate to be left out but DFWSSFART doesn’t really sound as good. 🙁
Is Amway doing financial planning these days? Because those are the ones who always accost me. “Don’t you want to learn how to manage your money? Please, come to this meeting and find out.” Grr. I don’t want your product, OR your free food or hotel party, or even your prayer session – the weirdest MLM tie-in I’ve ever heard. Who are they going to pray to, the god of mammon?
And I thought Wal-Mart had a strict “no solicitors” policy. Surprising to find him turn up in the same place twice.
It’s not solicitation if you don’t get caught.
I’ve been waiting to use that line! 😉
choking with joy and emotion Look Suhail, we’re going National now!
But here’s my theory on the prayer tie-in. Ultimately, MLMs don’t seek to prove that they form a good business model. Good business models, after all are best evaluated by I-bankers and the like. They are simply out to reap more suckers in with nothing more than persuasion. And what better way than faith-based persuasion.
Hey that’s what my full-body extraspecial tantrc-sensation massage lady says too 🙂
respeck…maison
I just have one question about ASSFART.
Are we required to recruit five more members in order to receive any benefit from the organization?
And then each of them will have to recruit five more and then more and more our numbers will swell exponentially till we have created a vast army of people who will ring the doorbells and tap the doorknocks of people across this vast land and tell them about the Danger that is Imminent upon them. Our collective forces will knock the wind (pun intended) out of the MLM perps.
Ofcourse, I’ll have to send you the motivational tapes.
Has anyone ever been to one of those large Amway/Quixtar shindigs that take place in convention centers? Is it true that 50%+ of the people attending are desi?
DDA man..you keep up the evagelism here. I am coming out with the bumper stickers, T-shirts..mugs..et al.
we’ll register a .org domain…and tie up with fat desi aunties who after years of being tormented by ekta kapoor’s saasbahu serials sought refuge in US. We’ll play up their sad sagas of how they were Amwayed and have turned anorexic(fullto with ‘Before’, ‘After’ fotuus). Safeway will be our major sponsor. U seee safeway v/s Amway!, also safeway has wide presence in Bayarea.
Also, we have to play a bit liberal-democratic types(remember media)..Our success stories will start appearing on local radio channles, on blogs..on Sulekha and Indian community functions. Then a plug on NPR..a piece in NYT..and finally Manish or Abhi will write a post which goes : “Anna had pointed us to the dangers of Amway[1, 2](insert humour) Well our own brown commenters from Austin (some more humour, and pats-on-back), have made it big in anti-Amway….(pats on the back all the way to the end*)”.
Wait it’s not over. Then PunjabiBoy and Razib will trade atleast 50 links between them in the comments secton, meanwhile Al Mujahid and BongBreaker will be having a full-blown heavy-duty ethnic-etho-psycho-socio types discussion with 5 other commenters all at the same time. And we? We will be somewhere in some exotic island cutting deals, playing golf and doing what we were supposed to do in the first place instead of writing these stupid sepia comments.
God, we would be the first commenters anywhere to have reached blog heaven.
You get my grandmos world domination plan? So just hold on, okay. I’ll be right bk from Walmart to get a photo printer for the bumper stickers. You just wait…
HOLY SHIT so thats what it was! ive been approached as well by such ppl, and never had any idea.
in fact, one of my “family friends” is really into this, full time. I could never figure out what he really did for a living…haha i even thought ‘desi mafia of sum sorts’ at one point haha…but alas, nowww i know.
greaat post, sm is actually teaching me shit. 🙂
Wow. jt/Abhi, I’m glad you said something or I’d go on feeling really out of the loop. Never ever heard of this. I’ve never had a woman pull the “Are you from India like me” thing, so I always assumed it was a lonely guy thing. I do remember Matol KM from 15 or so years ago. . .no Wikipedia entry on that though . .and I’ve gotten stuck on the wrong end of a Melaleuca repeat order. But all of those relied on pumping your existing social network. Never heard of anyone business-hitting on strangers. That’s even creepier than creepy-stranger-normal-hitting.
Gosh yea I got “assaulted” by some of em … this one dude got me early before I realized that this was such a scam. I even went to this “networking” session but when I got there, I was like, “what the hell is up with this!?” and walked out.
I have now developed a deep hatered to people who try to recruit me into these schemes … it’s unfortunate, they haven’t done anything wrong to me but I feel it’s a blatant disrespect to my right to privacy.
Do they not do this to white people? Because I’ve definitely never been Amway-ed. Or do they have white reps who come up to us and go “So, are you white?” Please tell me that the latter is the case so I can start dreaming up witty replies.
Suhail! I bow before you. That was the funniest thing I’ve read all day!
(This thread is actually making me sad that I haven’t had a very special Amway moment of my own, so I can’t join the fun. …So alone and cold out here..)
A good tip is to just keep the Amway cards you been given and in turn use them to introduce yourself to other Amway people.
One day, someone somewhere will write a brilliant dissertation on Amway.
Psst… cica, i can hook you up you know. Just a word from me and they’ll descend on you.
A couple of weeks back, this chick traces my phone number from my school webpage (I am in Engineering, I am desi, high correlation. Obvious demographic profiling) and calls me and starts off with “Hi, I am [insert dreamy Indian babe name]. I noticed your webpage”. At this point I was beaming and about to ask her if she wanted to go out and get a cup of java or something which is something I usually do with female stalkers.
Unknown DesiDudeInAustin stalkeress proceeds: “I was wondering if you wanted to meet up”
DDA: (thinking) Yes! Yes! Yes! That pic up on my page is a moneymaker! (now vocalising) umm…sure, but what’s this about. (note the skeptical tone that also makes me seem less forward)
Unknown DesiDudeInAustin stalkeress: “Yeah, it’s a business plan. I note that you are with the Entrepreneurship Society at [school]”.
The ‘business plan’ trigger goes off. Entrepreneuship enthusiasts usually call with “hey did you know about the new patch that can enable blah on blahtron. It’s all over friggin Slashdot. Well guess what, I think we’ve done one up on that. We’ll totally rock Google’s world, know any VCs?” They are never mysterious veiled women with ‘business plan’ ideas.
Unknown DesiDudeInAustin stalkeress: “Yeah, this e-marketing scheme”
DDA: (disgusted noise) No. And stop wasting your time. Go get a book or something. Flipping burgers at Wendy’s pays better in a wages/hr ratio. Seriously.
Anyways, to get back to the point cica, I could totally call her and hook you up. Then maybe she’d want to jump me in gratitude 🙂
Yeah, they do, but you have to kind of hang around the same place for awhile. (I am accosted while working demos at the supermarket for an ice-cream company)
Also got one at the train station one time while waiting for my husband.
But mostly I run into them online, on different websites. (into natural foods/herbal remedies? You’ll find TONS of MLM there. Tahitian Noni, anyone?)
I have a friend who keeps going to these things even though I tell him MLM is a scam. And yet he keeps going. This is the one who told me about the prayer meeting/self improvement seminar one.
I want to go to one some day, just for the free food and the laughs.
DDIA, only if I can repay the favor by sending some west Indian Jehovah’s Witnesses your way 😉
It’s always the women who approach me, and they really don’t seem to mind going out of their way (like down into the subway with me) so I’m sure Austin won’t be, like, far or anything.
Of course, you might have a hard time getting past the rather prim attire. But just be sure to nod when she says, “Are you wantin to ear da wurd of de Laird, bwoy?”
But the moot point is, will they agree to jump you in return? 🙂 Otherwise, it seems like I get a better deal out of this.
Oh, you’re such a sweetie to have such qualms! Fear not, and have fun young ‘un, cause I will have made her swear on a stack bibles to:
a) NEVER ring my doorbell for 5 minutes at a time, or at 2 minute intervals for half and hour at 7 in the effn morning.
b) Stop littering my hallways with Watchtower leaflets. For that matter, to stop shoving copies into my hand when I walk by.
c) convince her friends and her pastor-person that my stretch of street is not the place to screech “The Old Rugged Cross” through a bullhorn, every bleedin’ Saturday morning. I live on the 6TH FLOOR and the TV still can’t drown them out.
No sex, but not such a bad deal, yeah?
So, I know this is a “hate-on-Amway” strain (or, hate on Alticor, since someone brought up Quixtar), but is there anyone out there whose parents actually bought Amway products and used them when they were kids?
Around our neighborhood and city, a lot of guys who couldn’t find work got into Amway (and I believe also bought the Brooklyn Bridge for a nickel), it wasn’t considered such a bad thing to do. At that time, the target-group was not immigrants, but Vietnam vets who couldn’t get jobs because of blown limbs and minds and it was hard to refuse their sales-pitch (when a guy missing a hand says “These gloves will protect you from just about anything,” you kind of feel like buying). Some of them wore suits and bought houses, people thought they weren’t so bad until…
1981, on April Fools, two days after Reagan was shot, one of these Amway-guys came strolling through our neighborhood and because everyone was so wigged due to the shooting, he had his best day ever. He sold everyone all sorts of junk and told all these stories about the military and some old guy even took a picture of him. It was a very Yankee Doodle day and no one would have thought anything of him or Amway until some cops swooped into our neighborhood, while the guy was still there, and asked if we’d bought any products that day. Sure, we did, from that nice Vet who came by. Well, the cops said, are you missing anything, like jewellry, money, checks, anything? Ahh…
Mr. Amway had ripped off a bunch of stuff from many people, the most significant of which was the windshield wipers off that old guy’s car. And so, as some of us were sitting on our bikes making Porky Pig jokes, the guy came running down the street, chased by the police, and as he went by, that old guy came out shouting for us to stop him. But most of us were just into junior high, pretty young and truly American, so we just watched in apathetic silence as the guy ran into the woods and disappeared. And as we were revelling in the stupor of having a president shot and an Amway salesman turn criminal all in the same week, that old guy starting hitting us up with a broom-handle and accusing us of being “in-cahoots” with Amway.
Needless to say, there are many details of this moment that are interesting, however, the most significant are that, sadly, the old man was arrested and that the neighborhood had a meeting that night to officially ban Amway and all other salesman from the neighborhood. And, for whatever reason, perhaps because Reagan had just been shot, at the close of the meeting, someone decided that we should all sing the Star Spangled Banner, which we did. And everyone sang the anthem with pain, acting really victimized, as though the Amway salesman were John Hinckley, which I think is why my dad started cracking up during the song, which in turn started a whole other chain of events…
Anyhow, Amway, yeah, not such a good thing.
Anyone have any idea what “BWW” is?