Here’s to you, Mrs…William

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All right, stop what you’re doing, ’cause I’m about to ruin…the substance and the style that you’re used to… 😉 Kindly allow me get your mind off that toxic Us vs. Them, anti-ABCD debate. Instead of feeding trolls, peep THIS Hindustan Times article with shotacon overtones :

A 45-year-old Indian woman who operated a telephone sex service has been jailed for five years for seducing a 16-year-old boy, a report said on Wednesday.
Persis William was also fined 2,000 rupees (46 dollars) for having “illicit intercourse with a minor” and using him for “immoral purposes” in a house in Mumbai, a leading newspaper said.

The impressionable youth first called the sex line in 2000. After several months of chee-chee talk, the pervy Mrs. William upgraded from phone call to booty call. Or…perhaps “sugar momma” would be a more apposite term:

She gave him a gold chain, a shirt and three pairs of jeans. The boy stayed with her for 16 days during which time they had sexual intercourse, the newspaper said.

When the boy’s concerned parents contacted the authorities about their missing son, the police found him with his Ephebophiliac lovah. Now before you flame-broil me over it…yes, yes…I feel mildly guilty for my amusement at this story, because if the genders were reversed, I surely would’ve raised an arch. Still, if you think I’m depraved for that inexcusable double-standard, then just remember– I once voted and worked for the GOP. Now that’s some hard-core evil, right thurr. 😉

54 thoughts on “Here’s to you, Mrs…William”

  1. the police found him with his Ephebophiliac lovah.

    Good word!

    I once voted and worked for the GOP.

    Well, as long as you promise not to do it again for a long, long while, we might find some forgiveness in our hearts. Otherwise, you’re out of luck.

  2. Pictures! We need pictures of the perp!

    Is she a Mary Kay Letourneau or a Edna Townsend?

    The public demands to know!

  4. All right, stop what you’re doing, ‘cause I’m about to ruin…the substance and the style that you’re used

    I look funny, but, yo I’m making money, see So, yo, world I hope you’re ready for me

    ….

    I’m a freak I like the girls with the boom I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

  6. I guess she got stupid and shot an arrow like cupid

    and that is what seduced the poor boy.

    ps. thank you for getting THE HUMPTY DANCE stuck in my BRAIN.

  7. why IS it one of the most insanely catchy songs ever? That and “Parents Just Don’t Understand”…

  8. why IS it one of the most insanely catchy songs ever? That and “Parents Just Don’t Understand”…

    I think pre-1990 hip hop doesn’t get stuck in my head in my more. Now that J5 track that’s on a commercial right now has been in my head for days.

  9. And ‘Bust a Move…’ DesiDancer, your generation is showing 😉

    Re: kickin’ it Dimple style: don’t forget the May-December between Dimple Kapadia and Akshaye Khanna in Dil Chahta Hai.

  10. yeah, but she didn’t so much love him, Manish, as she just needed him to move furniture. Oh wait, were they married? 😉

    My generation = the Vij generation. The generation who appreciates the rap from “Revenge of the Nerds”

  11. The worst thing in the world is when the intern tells you that she considers things made while you were in high school “old school.”

    btw, the last desi party I was at, for a short moment, in between the hip hop and reggae, the suburban nature came out and everybody rocked out to Livin’ On A Prayer 🙂

  15. If this turns into a thread about ’80s music I’m ALL ABOUT it, but I think we need ANNA to moderate and slap us for our cheezy guilty-pleasure favorites…

    Like if I were to say… Color Me Badd

  17. anna, thanks for changing the subject. things were getting a bit tired on that other thread.

    as for old school, far as i’m concerned it’s everything prior to when hiphop blew up beyond nyc — i.e. pre-1986 or so.

    now that’s old school. but i’m older than y’all, too. and i spend too much time digging in the crates.

    peace

  19. don’t forget Deee-lite .. or PM Dawn 🙂

    The worst thing in the world is when the intern tells you that she considers things made while you were in high school “old school.”

    Witness the conversation I had with a 16 year old a few months ago.

    a: blah blah blah stone temple pilots blah blah. 16yo: stone temple pilots? who are they? a: you don’t know??!!wtf youth director friend (to 16yo): You know Velvet Revolver? 16yo: yeah ydf: their lead singer was in that band. a: who’s Velvet Revolver?

    yes, we are all having our quarter life crises. let us get over it by drowning ourselves in Technotronic and Black Box.

  20. Like if I were to say… Color Me Badd

    desidancer, my darling girl…mention them again and i’ll take my shoe off. 😀

  21. C+C Music Factory (ow!) 3rd Bass (slap!) and that freak who sings “Rico Suave” (passes out with concussion)

    -dang, ANNA, why’d you have to use the Steve Maddens to hit me 😉

  22. Lol….lemme take this Us vs Them debate a bit further……did anyone realize that all the people who feel ‘relieved’ of the other thread and have lapped up this thread like a breath of fresh air are mostly ABCD’s…and the people left over at the other thread squabbling over backlash and Us vs Them are all mostly FoB’s…..

    Which brings me to my point…..for most of the ABCD’s,their Indian/South Asian legacy is a baggage……you(yessir,I said you) guys might try to reason it out,think it out,rationalize it out,fight it out but ultimately you do get tired of what being a South Asian entails and left to flow naturally,most ABCD’s are much more at home discussing hip-hop than Hindu-Muslim or North-South divide(Indian,not American)……..

    I wish you guys would see that your efforts at establishing a desi-American identity might be pointless,no matter how obliged you might feel to do it,simply because the issues facing the motherland of your parents(the ‘des’ in the desi) are so so much more different than what you would actually face in your life…….sometimes I think it would be better if you were to just consider yourself American and thats it,not Indian-American,just American!!…it could probably save a lot of needless soul-searching……agreed there might still be an occasional racist remark about your skin color that might get your blood boiling and induce an urge to ‘go back to the roots’ but for the most part,American society has been pretty accomodating and inclusive and I find the desis who just get along living their lives as normal Americans are probably much more at peace with themselves……

    I have no love affair with India or Indians or a need to care about whats going on back there…..its just that having lived the first 25 years of my life in that country,there is a reflexive need to glance at timesofindia.com everyday……I dont think my kids should have any need or desire for the same…..I think its more than enough that the first generation desis feel a sense of homelessness……for all you guys,there should be no doubt that America is the place of your birth/nurturing and probably the only country you should owe any allegiance to(for those who like to feel allegiances that is)

    Its not my intention to create any ABCD-FoB divide over here but I really have a thing against not acknowledging differences when differences exist(a la Bollywood projection of happy families)….

  23. nofixed address, my knee jerk response is to reply in depth to what you said, but i would rather have a space on this blog where we can talk about guns n roses and def leppard and gerardo (that’s the freak). The only thing I have to say is that I’ve heard the TOI is a piece of $hit from the people at CSF and they seem to know what they’re talking about about Indian media:) Also, i enjoy that I can say the following:

    in the cities, ladies look pretty, guys tell jokes so they can seem witty. tell a funny joke just to get somewhere. try and make a move and she says no way.

    girls are fakin goodness sakin they want a man who brings home the bacon. got no money, and you got no car, then you got no woman, and there you are. (take it desidancer)

    Are ya getting it, no fixed address? Because armageddon it. (worst lyric ever) Now on to Tone Loc, Belinda Carlisle, Rick Ashley, Debbie Gibson, and Tiffany!

  24. most ABCD’s are much more at home discussing hip-hop than Hindu-Muslim or North-South divide(Indian,not American)……..

    But we WOULD love to have a 200 comment thread debating One State Two State, Red State Blue State. Or North v. South (wrt American states). We are EQUALLY comfortable discussing that topic, as we are in discussing:

    The night is calling I have to go The wolf is hungry He runs to show He’s licking his lips He’s ready to win On the hunt tonight For love at first sting Here I am! (da-da-DA-DA)Rock you like a hurricane!

    (THAT is the worst lyric ever, Saurav)And more Fat Boys, Lisa Lisa, Shalimar, Chris DeBurgh, and Vanilla F’ing Ice.

  25. Please, DD. That doesn’t even compared to “armageddon it.” At least it’s proper english (excuse my elitism). Sort of akin to “my prerogative”, the def lep song makes me suspricious that they learned a new word and wanted to use it.

    btw, you all may appreciate how bizarre it is that the New Edition tour bus pulled up in front of the hotel where the NASABA/NILC conference was held. Michael Bivins was less than three feet from me. Which reminds me, never trust a big butt and a smile.

  26. Go for it mate…..

    I bin lurking on Pink Floyd and Dire Straits boards years before I got to Sepiamutiny……I dont know which are those momentary lapses(s) of reason which make me post anything related to politics or unrelated to music,cricekt or beer……guess I wasnt very lucid bout the point I wuz trying to make……

    Enjoy the weekend ya’all……me I am gonna enjoy the ‘monsoon’ ravaging the city Houston and spend my weekend dollars at the jukebox at my neighboring Scottish pub….I can already hear Roger Waters with his immortal

    Do you think you could tell Heaven from hell Blue skies from pain Can you tell a green field, from a cold steel rail A smile from a veil Do you think you can tell

  27. peace, y’all.

    nofixedaddress, this 1/2 indian, “raised in neither the u.s. nor in india,” is happy to represent the non-FOB non-ABCD contingent. mongrels reprazent reprazent! we’re here to mix shit up a bit.

    desidancer, you’re one of my favorites here but, yo, how you gonna dis 3rd bass ? and worse, what are you hating on lisa lisa? i wonder if i take you home… i guess you’d give me the gas face.

    (that’s a lyrics-based joke, y’all. nothing rude.)

    lisa lisa is all that! in general that period with the electro beats is fantastic. i play this stuff all the time. what about my girl shannon?

    peace

  28. Siddhartha- as a fellow mongrel/mixed/hapa/adhi… whatever they call us these days ;)… We gotta represent. Or as the desi half of me says Pehechaano, yaaron! Identifying with both, yet neither.

    I have nothing but love for the artists or songs I’ve mentioned; no dis, no gas-face. I am secure enough in myself to admit that I know all the lyrics to “Informer” by Snow, owned the Slaughter cassette with “Up All Night”, and know all 3 properties of the East Coast Family.

    Daddy Mac’ll make you JUMP JUMP Kris Kross’ll make you JUMP JUMP

  29. square that i am, i can’t even understand the lyrics to informer, let alone know them. but kris kross on the other hand…

    (okay, last comment, d, i promise 😉 !

  30. noFixedaddress: I think you’re right — maybe having online Adidas/chappal smackdowns about cheesy old pop music is the final proof that in the western world, the divisions among desis aren’t about where their parents lived before or after Partition, but about whether Right Said Fred really was too sexy for his cat. 😉

  35. me, the other half is jewish american (of the eastern european peasant variety). and i grew up in france. so i’m like mongrel city.

    also, i’m 37, so i imagine that puts me among the older hedz up in here.

    but i still feel comfortable round y’all 🙂

    i wonder how many mongrels lurking around here will out themselves now?

    stop! hammertime!

    peace

  42. re: ashkenazi — yes i could use that but it still wouldn’t be specific enough. the rothschilds are ashkenazi too, whereas my people are the rural pogrom fodder types. aren’t you the class-analysis specialist around here? 🙂

    manish, i KNOW you ain’t talkin’ bout my mama!

    but seriously, it’s interesting that the official name for my particular mix seems to be “hinjews.” that’s what i always hear. but when i was growing up we called ourselves “jindus.” i like the sound of that better.

    then again the mix was less common back then than it has become now. we never thought to institutionalize or trademark the term…

    peace

  44. AM- my 11 herbs and spices are 50% desi, 25% German, and the other 25% is French-Canadian & Italian.

    I’m very confused when it comes to holidays 😉 and strangely, the first in my family born in the US.

    For NY/Boston/SF area mongrels, here’s something that may be of interest to you. Let me know if you want on the listserv or events lists.

  45. the class-analysis specialist around here? 🙂 Only due to the dearth of any real ones 🙂

    that’s the truth.

    dd – a “mixed movement” ? good lord, when will it cease… identity politics will be the demise of us all.

  46. the mission statement sounds more serious than it is, Siddhartha. In truth it’s a very fun bunch of folks who eat and hang and go do interesting outings and thumb their noses at the conventional labels.

  50. Will someone please be my arm candy for a night? Father from Lucknow, mother from Lahore, paternal grandparents Irani, maternal grandparents Arab, and me, all confused and queer in the middle of Karachi. Urk. I demand that my mongrel status be acknowledged!