Monthly Archives: June 2005

The Forsaken Land Wins at Cannes

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vimukthi.jpg Director Vimukthi Jayasundara this past May became the first Sri Lankan to ever win the prestigious Camera dÂ’Or award for Best First Film, or any award for that matter, at the world reknowned Cannes Film Festival for his Sinhalese language film Sulanga Enu Pinisa (The Forsaken Land). Jaysundara, who was trained trained at the Institute of the Cinema and Television of Pune, in India, shares the award at Cannes with an American, Miranda July for her work, Me And You And Everyone We Know.

When asked to talk about the film, Jayasundara said,

“If The Forsaken Land has something to do with my country’s history, it is especially through its conveyance of the suspended state of being simultaneously without war and without peace – in between the two. I wanted to capture this strange atmosphere… For me, filmmaking is an ideal vehicle for expressing the mental stress people experience as a result of the emptiness and indecisiveness they feel in their lives. With the film, I wanted to examine emotional isolation in a world where war, peace and God have become abstract notions.”

Thankfully, getting to see this film will be made easier by his win at Cannes as his film has found distribution in the U.S and in his native Sri Lanka.

More on Jayasundara and his win here, here, here, and here. Continue reading →

Getting rid of your footprints

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My mom is forever insisting that my blogging activities are going to inevitably get me into all kinds of trouble and ruin many potential career paths. In today’s internet age it seems that everything you do leaves behind web footprints. You can Google almost anyone to find dirt on them. For example, any of the following searches can (and have) led internet surfers to my innocuous little blog:

-new haircuts for wide faced brown haired girls

-dr sanjay gupta honeymoon

-ecstasy induced trance and subliminal messaging

-Why los angeles sucks

-kissinger + cia + chile + allende + cockroaches

-worlds mosts sickest pictures

-bad thinking inside the mind

And of course SO MANY people have at least one atrocious picture of themselves embedded somewhere it the bowels of the internet. It’s a picture that they took (for example) right after they had to walk a half mile on a very humid day when it was drizzling, which in turn made their hair all puffy and chia-pet like. The New York Times Stephanie Rosenbloom writes:

IN the winter of 1996, back when I was a brunette who wore sensible shoes, a photographer snapped my picture during a rehearsal for a college musical. The production mattered; eating and sleeping did not. The resulting portrait showed a pasty, gaunt girl being swallowed by a XXX-large T-shirt.

The only thing more unfortunate than the photo is that nearly a decade after it was taken – a decade in which I became a blonde and graduated to stilettos – it is still the definitive image of me on the World Wide Web, the one that pops up every time my name is entered in a Google search. It even has the dubious distinction of being in the top 10 hits in a list of several hundred, most of them articles I have written.

The photo caption says that as the show’s director, I was working “behind the scenes.” I beg to differ. I am center stage in cyberspace. Never mind that the photograph accompanies an article about my theatrical achievements. If a prospective date were to encounter the virtual me before the flesh-and-blood me, he would not be moved to schedule aperitifs.

But if misery loves company, then there is solace in knowing that many people bristle at the mere thought of being Googled because of the photographs, news clippings or blog entries that they feel do not reflect who they really are. Such is the plight of the Google-ee.
I mean seriously! The caring, sensitive individual that I am (who really just wants to be held) doesn’t come through at all if you Google me to find out who I am. Instead, there is talk of Henry Kissinger and the cockroaches he used in some alleged coup attempt. Any sane person would be scared off. Is it any wonder I can’t get a date? Continue reading →

On top of the world

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These gals could kick my scrawny little Mallu butt anyday. The The Times of India reports –

Indian Army’s women mountaineers created history by becoming the first women’s expedition to scale the Mt Everest. Captain Shipra Mazumdar, Captain Ashwini Pawar, Cadet Tshering Ladol and Trainee Dechin Lhamo scaled the 8848-metre high peak between 0615 and 0939 hours.

Alas, upon reaching the summit, the team discovered they’d been beat to the top by Hrithik and Priety Zinta & a movie crew who, inspired by nuptials on the peak, were seeking the biggest, baddest alpine love chase cum Monsoon Wedding in the history of Bollywood. Captain Mazumdar and her team were invited to participate as background dancers but respectfully declined. Continue reading →

The bees’ knees, a memoir (updated)

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Japan throws its national muscle behind making vibrating toilets and Hello Kitty phones the size of a Tic-Tac. Venezuela and India dedicate themselves to making globally competitive beauty queens. Hodiernally, what do desi Americans do?

We make 12-year-olds in braces with salutatory spelling skills, says the NYT:

For many American contestants, the most uncommon words at last week’s national spelling bee were not appoggiatura and onychophagy, but the names of the top four finishers… All were of Indian ancestry. In recent years, descendants of Indian immigrants – less than 1 percent of the population – have dominated this contest, snatching first place in five of the past seven years, and making up more than 30 of the 273 contestants this year…

Crunching the numbers, desis are 16x overrepresented in the national spelling bee.

Excellence in a number of fields has always had a cultural tinge – consider the prevalence of Dominicans in baseball, Jews in violin playing, Kenyans in long-distance running. In 1985, when a 13-year-old son of Indian immigrants, Balu Natarajan, beat out his competitors by spelling “milieu,” it had an electrifying impact on his countrymen, much as Juan Marichal’s conquest of baseball had for Dominicans…

It’s not quite the same as Sabeer Bhatia’s adoring fans, but ok. I can personally confirm that desi parents dig rote drills for toddlers:

Indians are comfortable with the rote-learning methods of their homeland, the kind needed to master lists of obscure words that easily stump spell-checker programs. They do not regard champion spellers as nerds.

It’s not that Indian parents don’t see spellers as nerds. It’s that they don’t even know the meaning of the word. (Vinod is in the habit of saying, ‘Malayalees are the nerds of India. Of India!’) In a country with an insane level of competition for a vanishingly small number of good college slots and government jobs, being studious wasn’t an epithet, it was a necessity.

Continue reading →

True romance

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A 37-year-old desi woman from Ronkonkoma, Long Island admitted phoning in a fake bomb threat on a PIA flight because her boyfriend’s sister was being deported on that plane:

[Samina] Faisal… was charged… with telephoning in a false report of two bombs on Pakistan International Airline flight 718 bound for Pakistan on Feb. 13. Federal agents said the 911 call was made from a pay phone located on the second level of Terminal 4 at Kennedy Airport. As a result of the call, airline officials had the plane, which was already en route [to Lahore], return to the airport. Officers using K-9 units then conducted a search, but didn’t find any bombs on the craft, the complaint stated…

During her interview, Faisal told investigators that her boyfriend, who understands Urdu, overheard two unidentified men speaking in the language at the airline terminal discussing that there were two bombs on the aircraft, according to the complaint. Faisal said she sought out airline and security personnel to report the information but couldn’t find any, investigators said.

However, the complaint said the airline terminal had nearly 100 uniformed employees of the Transportation Security Administration on duty, as well as nearly 50 Customs and Border Protection inspectors on duty when Faisal claimed to have made the call.

Faisal is a U.S. citizen born in Pakistan. It’s apparently not the first time she’s cried wolf:

State court records show that Faisal, also known by the surnames Lodhi and Rasheed, has two pending cases involving charges of criminal impersonation and filing false incident reports. She also has a pending motor vehicle case involving a charge of unlicensed driving and what was described in court records as “criminal personation.”
Continue reading →

iRiver South Asia Playlist

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One of my favorite things about visiting South Asia, in recent years anyway, is the unique (despite overly repetitive) playlist of MTV India. Sure, some really awful Bollywood songs are included, but where else will you hear a track with such poignant lyrics like “just chill chill, just chill” repeated over and over again, right? So after being in Sri Lanka for over a week, I have added some of the following to my iRiver music playlist. And if you want to have this argument, I like the iRiver better than the Ipod, but lets not make this post an iRiver vs. iPod one.

Bombay Rockers— Rock The Party. This Danish duo, includes one desi and one gora exactly and approximately. The gora sings in English, and the desi of course sings in Hindi. How novel of an idea? The song is catchy, but the track’s music is not original, the lyrics are not really intricate, and it seems like the Rocker’s are trying a little too hard to be Europe’s answer to the Neptunes (trucker hat, bandana around the wrist and all).

Daddy Yankee—Mirame. To be fair, I actually put this on my playlist before I left the states (along with Raje Shwari and Beenie man’s Below the Waist and her track Country Style with Petey Pablo), but this spindi (Spanish + Hindi) reggaeton track is hot, so I had to give it a plug.

Abhijeet Sawant—Mohabbatein Lutaaunga. India’s answer to Kelly Clarkson, Reueben Studdard, and Clay Aiken, all rolled into one. Sawant was the winner of “Indian Idol” and can really belt out a tune. It is a little corny, and in the video of this song he does some weird forehead pointing thing, but some of his tracks are catchy, this one in particular.

The Rishi Rich Project—Dil Mera.—This track is on the Kya Kool Hai Hum Soundtrack. I haven’t seen the movie, but the trailer makes it look hip, and having the Project participate, makes the film even hipper. I was actually pleasantly surprised to hear a lot of Raghav and Jay Sean tracks all over the radio here in Sri Lanka. Sonu Nigam, Jayesh Gandhi and Amrita Kak— Just Chill. I had to put it on, just to laugh. This is apparently the opening track for David Dhawan’s new movie Maine Pyar Kyun Kiya, starring Salman Khan and Sushmita Sen. Remember to “just chill chill, just chill.”

Blaaze-–Bunty Aur Babli. This is the lead track for the movie of the same name starring Abhishek Bachchan and Rani Mukherjee. The song is a rap song and the video has Amitabh lip-synching, quite ridiculously, along to the lyrics. Its unfortunate because the movie looks good. Continue reading →

Sign up!…please?

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There are a number of theories as to why otherwise normal people blog. In my opinion they can be boiled down to two:

(1) They are attention whores

(2) They are trying to get lucky The rare individual (and I thankfully am not one) blog for both reasons. With that in mind I want to bring a couple of things to your attention. The South-Asian Journalists Association (SAJA) 10th Anniversary Convention and Job Fair will be held in New York City on June 16-19, at Columbia University – Lerner Hall & Columbia Journalism School. Our very own Manish Vij will be on one of the panels disseminating his considerable wisdom. He will do so with a number of puns that he is preparing even now. I have read an advance copy. Very funny (even the ones that confused me). The panel name is The Ethnic Press in 2005 (SATURDAY, 3:15-4:45 pm). If you have ever even thought about becoming a journalist or might want to date one, you should totally sign up.

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Coincidentally, that same weekend (June 17-18) is The North American South Asian Bar Association (NSABA) Convention in Washington, D.C. I went to the convention in Los Angeles last year and had a blast while learning a great deal about various lawyer things. I pretended to be a personal injury lawyer as a matter of fact. This year the convention is granting me a press pass and I will be attending once again. If you have ever even thought about becoming a lawyer or might want to date one, you should totally sign up. In addition the NSABA conference will play host to many South Asians who will one day make a run for office. Its good to network now so that you can turn them away from the dark side. Since I am press, it is entirely possible that I will approach attendees for a quote for this website. I may even ask for your number for follow-up questions. Continue reading →

They TOTALLY beat Abhi to it…

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everest.jpg Two Nepalese lowebirds who had participated in the Rotary Centennial Everest Expedition this week got married atop Everest; yes, it’s a first. Sadly for you, Abhi was not around HQ for comment.

Other climbers were understandably floored by the event…or ceiling-ed, rather, at the simple, ten-minute ceremony.

They briefly took off their oxygen masks and put on plastic garlands, while the groom symbolically applied red powder on the bride’s forehead.

They kept it on the downlow:

Mr Dorjee said other couples had wanted to do the same in the past, but none had managed because they could not get up on top of the peak together.
Fearing the same possibility, they had kept their own plan secret.

Did you catch that? Before this couple, no one else had been able to use the world’s most exclusive location for their nuptials because apparently, they couldn’t get to the top of Everest at the same time as their intended. What did they do, ditch their slow beloveds in the snow? Stay with them and nurse resentment? Rethink the viability of marrying them on the long way down? I ask too many questions?

So, there’s more to this union than a unique location; Moni Mule Pati and Pem Dorjee Sherpa’s bond is extra special because it crosses caste and ethnic boundaries. In a statement regarding this aspect of his marriage, the groom, in an understated, black, backwards-facing baseball cap wisely quoted Depeche Mode:

“If some people are loving each other they have to get married,” Pem Dorjee told the BBC. “That’s why we want to give all Nepali people [the message] that people are people so there’s no problem about caste.”

Indeed. It’s been quite a week for Everest, besides this marriage made and/or “solemnised” in heaven, two Iranian women became the first Muslim females to make it to the top. No word on whether they left slow fiances in their dust. Snow. Whatever. Continue reading →

Giants, dwarves and lemurs

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Like that VW ad, NYC sometimes has moments of spooky synchronicity. Like the time two weeks ago when I hailed a cab to SoHo. The fellow who picked me up was an uncle crooning along to Hindi ghazals in the direction of his steering wheel. After crossing the Williamsburg Bridge, we passed a Sikh guy with a black pug and a cute Punjaban walking toward chic bar Mecca. A block later, a group of desi high school kids sounded their barbaric yawps over the sidewalks of the world. The louche lounge turned out all Arabic and Hindi tunes, Turkish lanterns and Bombay tones; ’twas hookahs and wine, you know the kind.

 

Similarly, both major movies released last weekend, Madagascar and The Longest Yard, had desi influences. In the animated film Madagascar, a major character speaks in a comical desi accent mouthed by Ali G. His Julian the lemur king is pompous and faintly ridiculous, though aside from the accent he’s funny in his own right. The sound isn’t exactly Sellers, but this movie confirms the cycle of immigrant visibility: first ignored, then laughed at, then accepted. (And finally The Man? Only in spelling bees.)

 

The hilarious thing is, American movie reviewers couldn’t place the accent. It was clearly a desi parody, though rounded off via the West Indies or just the fertile mind of Sacha Baron Cohen. Reviewers guessed all over the map: Eurotrash, Middle Eastern, Caribbean. Here’s what the director said:

We had this two-line character, Julian, and we got a tape of the show “Ali G” with Sacha Baron Cohen. He came in and he invented this Indian accent. We gave him a couple of lines and he turned them into eight minutes of dialogue. We were just in tears on the floor and thought, “This guy has to be the king.” So that was just a two-line part that he invented and it turned into that role.

Continue reading →

Anurag Kashyap signs record contract!

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Screw blogging. I need to become an agent. SHOW ME THE MONEY! From ESPN’s Page 2:

anuragsigns.jpg

Everyone is talking about it but no one can believe it. No one wants to believe it. Ninety million dollars? For a teenager? For a snot-nosed kid who’s never even competed at the college level, let alone the pros? Utter insanity.

Yeah, well, I’m the agent for that snot-nosed kid. And I’m here to tell you, this endorsement contract makes so much sense that I guarantee within five years, $90 million will seem like a damn bargain for the winner of the National Spelling Bee.

Why, the revenue from his personal line of pocket protectors and “You are here” solar system T-shirts will cover the $90 million nut, easy. After that, the sales from the “Got Paste?” campaign will be pure profit.

Besides, this kid isn’t going to embarrass anybody down the road. His name is rock solid. There aren’t going to be any paternity suits. There aren’t going to be any bling-wearing posses getting pulled over in his Escalade for smoking weed. He’s a spelling bee champion, for God’s sake. He doesn’t have any friends, let alone a posse. And even with $90 million drawing interest in his savings account, I doubt if there are any girls out there who want to spend an afternoon watching “Matrix Reloaded” over and over with him. Let alone have sex.

Whoa. That last line was excessively harsh. My boy IS gonna’ get some play now that he’s famous. I can’t spell worth crap (as evidenced plenty of times on this blog) or else I’d be living the thug life just like he’s about to.

That’s just the way this business works. I’m not proud of it. Blame it on television. Ever since they began broadcasting the National Spelling Bee on TV, everybody wants a piece of the action. And why shouldn’t the kid get his slice, just because he’ll wind up blowing it on Clearasil?

Trust me, you don’t know the half of it — and you don’t want to, either. I’ve seen parents send a six-year-old to timeout for three hours just because she didn’t know whether “catsup” or “ketchup” was the accepted spelling. The sad thing is, both spellings are.

Gotta’ get rich or die trying.

Continue reading →