I think we have another entry into the annals of really bad writing on South Asia. This entry comes from perennial favorite, our friends over at Condé Nast Traveler.
Those of you who have been to the region understand my initial surprise when I received my June 2005 issue to see on the cover a piece entitled Driving India. I mean, there is a reason that Hertz and Avis car rental companies aren’t on every corner (I believe there are 16 Hertz locations for the entire country of over a billion people). Ever wonder why no ingenious Indian business person hadn’t created the rupee car rental company? Perhaps because it isn’t safe for those unfamiliar with the country/roads to drive there. Like any good mutineer, I immediately flip to the story entitled “Accelerating Mayhem,” and began reading to see how crazy the writer, Stephan Wilkinson must be to take on the Indian roads. Instead I was left wondering how his article got published.
Well as soon as I flipped to page 92, I began to see the signs, not so much that he is crazy, but for bad and clichéd writing on the region. What are these warning signs you ask? Let’s have a looksee:
Required discussion of arranged marriage, check. I have no idea what this has to do with a travelogue or driving India, but yes, people in India have arranged marriages. It has been written about, TMBWITW Aishwarya has explained it, and some (gasp) even prefer it.
The requisite mention of the “Indian head shake,” check. To be fair, Wilkinson describes it as “a vague cock of the head.” I think we should formally rename it here as the South Asian head shake because I know they do it in Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, and Sri Lanka as well.
Use of the word “the” before mentioning the state of Punjab, check. I never understood how this trend started, to say “the Punjab.” Writing, “From Delhi through the Punjab” is the equivalent of saying from Washington D.C. through the PennsylvaniaÂ…4. Requisite comparison of India’s roads and driving conditions to a video game, check. The driving conditions suck, but there has to be a better, less clichéd way to describe the roads. And I have seen better game comparisons—he uses automotive tetris.
Inclusion of caste, check. Wilkinson notes, “What would get him [a driver] pistol-whipped in Chicago or Manhattan occasions not so much as a rude gesture in caste-docile India.” First, I am not too sure that this guy has had the full driving experience in India if he thinks that Indians don’t suffer road rage. Perhaps he didn’t understand when the 25 people he cut off each screamed ben/mather chod or any other of the various other Hindi/Punjabi expletives at him. Second, not too sure how the caste reference works in this instance, even if he is convinced that Indian drivers are a bit more polite than American drivers. Does he actually think it is because of the caste system that drivers are polite?
Requisite play on Indian name, check. Well this one is kind of funny, bad writing, but funny. Yes its use merits placement in the annals of bad writing on South Asia, but I chuckled slightly when I read of Wilkinson’s Indian driver’s fate with traffic. He writes, “South of Chandigarh, we come to an enormous traffic jam to which even Surender surrenders.”
At this point, I have begun to see fault in the little things in the article as well, and am wondering how this article got past Condé Nast editors and into print. We learn on day two that Shimla was the former summer capital of India and that it is “so far off the tourist map that an Indian family stops us to pose for snapshots.” That Indian people are stopping you to take a picture is not a good indicator of how touristy a place is. Shimla was once the capital of the British Raj and has been a stalwart on the Indian tourist map for ever. When I was there, foreigners were all over the place, and I remember being bombarded upon at the entrance of town by almost as many touts as at the Taj or in Jaipur.
- And finally, the obligatory mention of a holy cow, check. Yes they are on the road, we know this. I think if people know little of India, they know of the Taj Majal and that cows are everywhere. This was last on my list because cows, along with a plethora of other animals are indeed on the road and part of the driving experience. At the same time, the holy cow thing has been done over, and over again.
So if any of you out there ever have to write an article on South Asia and are looking for a little help, I would avoid Wilkinson and Condé Nast, and start off here, at the SAJA style book instead.
It is exactly because of nonsense like this that I came up with my blog. Just one mention of using “The” with Punjab. This is not exactly wrong. Punjab (as I’m sure you already know) means Land of 5 Rivers (of course 2 are in Pakistan now, but that’s another whole article). So saying The Punjab is not exactly incorrect, though yes, the official state is just Punjab, The Punjab is still used here and there…But it seriously does seem like this ass just brushed off an article written in 1971 and republished it.
and sikhs dont drink?
Ha. Thanks for mentioning that bit Ash. I also forgot to include Wilkinson’s reference to Dharamsala as being nearby Lhasa.
Sajit, nicely done!
TTG, Mesopotamia refers to the land between the Tigris and the Euphrates rivers. Do we commonly use “The Mesopotamia?” I don’t think so. “The Punjab” is as correct or wrong as “The Mesopotamia”.
it doesn’t mean anyone in S. Asia thinks it’s a good idea…
The fact that it got past editors of CN may indicate the lack of cultural awareness the editors have. After reading your blurb on this, it just reconfirms to me how ignorant individuals are and how people (in supposedly good positions in life and society) are allowed to display their ignorance to their audience.
(I guess I wouldn’t be surprized if they mentioned snake charmers in the article?!?!?!)
It is obvious that this author hasn’t driven in New Orleans and that his daughter has yet to play Galaga. What clever new similes those experiences would spawn.
The reason to have Surender along is not simply “to help us find the way” but to negotiate those oncoming switchbacks and hairpins — try it yourself and feel the gs as you fly downward into the gorge. Our driver in Ooty and Coimbatore was the bomb, my hats off to Mr. Palaniappan for his great driving ability.
To the author’s credit there is no mention of the Indians that fly the magic carpet, sleep on a bed of nails and do the Indian rope trick. 🙂
Btw, is Ash having problems with being TMBWITW?
And finally Indian drivers polite?! Has this guy ever driven in Mumbai?!
Perhaps “the Punjab” was coined to differentiate the place from the slang term “Punjab head”. The OED lists this usage from 1949:
“PARTRIDGE Dict. Slang (ed. 3) (Addenda) 1145/2 Punjab head, have a, to be forgetful; Punjab head, forgetfulness.”
I don’t see anything wrong with using “The Punjab”. For example, it is common to say “The Balkans”. The additional “the” is commonly used before the name of an area that is not necessarily a country. On a related note, it is a mistake to say “the hoi polloi”, since hoi already means “the”.
Only, in the article, he is referring specifically to the Indian state of Punjab. My example again, we don’t say the Pennsylvania, or the Virginia. We say Virginia and Pennsylvania.
Areas in India have been called “The Gangetic Plains” or “The Deccan”. All of these reference a general area that are beyond administrative boundaries.
Since Punjab today has a defined boundary and structure, calling it “The Punjab” is not very accurate though not necessarily harmful or wrong.
If this was India of sometime back then calling it “The Punjab” would be a more accurate description since it was the general area of the 5 rivers. If this guy travelled into Pakistan from India and stated he drove through “The Punjab” region of South Asia, then it would be an accurate description again.
Guys:
If everybody puts aside the blind patriotism, the article is dead-on (so to speak) right.
Are you guys for real?
Chris
this guy needs to drive w/ my mama ji and his driver….they are chronic speeders who believe they should be in the Daytona 500. The driver himself one day was zipping around a mountain in The Kashmir (ok, can’t help myself) and crashed it off a gorge, luckily fell into some ditch, split his head open bcuz it went THRU the steering wheel. He was stuck in that position (head in wheel, arm above head and thru the wheel) for a few hrs until some sheepherder came by and cut him loose. Best part of the story, he didn’t get stitches or go the hospital for days to conceal to my family that he trashed the car….now that would be True Indian Driving to me.
1) A lot of what he says is true, but I couldn’t help make note of certain condesending remarks, especially when quoted. Write the truth but get rid of the condescension.
2) Driving in India isn’t really hard. Anbody can drive there because everybody there is a defensive driver. Go on the wrong side of the road and eveybody will avoid you. you will SURVIVE. But true driving in India is to drive like an Indian – which is hard !
“The Punjab” is archaic (Amardeep?) but I don’t see it as wrong. Pakistani Punjab still calls itself “The Punjab” although Indian Punjab does not. Interestingly, APNA, a transpunjabi organization that embraces the common culture of both sides of the border, calls itself “Academy of The Punjab in North America” so go figure.
People used to say ‘The Ukraine’ until Ukrainians whupped ’em for it.
Do people say ‘The Doab’ for the Ganga-Varne region? Is it ‘Delhi is in The Doab” or ‘Delhi is in Doab”?
I think “the” comes in when the word following it used to apply as an adjective and then got shortened, such as
The Balkan states –> the Balkans The Deccan plateau –> the Deccan
I don’t know if Punjab was originally “the five-water land” or “the punjab region” which would kinda explain that sort of usage…
I could never understand “The Bronx”, though.
So would writing to Conde Nast be of any use? You think that might help? I dont think they are really waiting to be enlightened but I wonder if any of you guys have tried it before. I would love to see the editors admit that they were being careless.
Can someone please tell me what exactly IS this South Asian head shake? Is it the side-to-side one? Does it mean Yes or does it mean No?
The South Asian head shake is just a gesture of acknowledgment thats all. It doesn’t mean ethier Yes or No.
I do. But I use the Daily Show version because that’s where I get most of my news, being the good American that I am 🙂
You know Jon Stewart truncates the last four letters at home, right? 😉
Speaking of Jon Stewart, remember how he screwed the Crossfire hosts for their “partisan hackery”? 🙂 (To watch the video, follow the link, select Viral Classics and its the first video there)
Whether or not a place name takes a definite article in English is a question of common usage. It is not a question that can be settled by argument or simplistic analogies. Current usage is “The Netherlands”, not “Netherlands”. It is, simultaneously, “Holland”, not “The Holland”. “The Punjab” is a term that has a long history in the English language. The simple “Punjab” is a neologism dating from after the unification of PEPSU and the successful Punjabi Suba campaign to split HP and Haryana from the already subdivided Indian 40% of the Punjab. There is nothing wrong with using this accepted neologism, but to deride the older usage as a simple error is not simply pedantry but pedantry doubly damned – pedantry both ignorant and wrong. The person who wrote this article deserves a good clip over the ears for presumption and stupidity. Other historical Indian regions that take or have taken the definite article include the Deccan, the 24 Parganas, and the Doab. Naturally the basis for this is that these names derive from or imply a common noun (the five rivers, the two rivers, the Deccan plateau). See also the Northeast, the United Provinces, the Konkan coast, etc. And, outside India, the Crimea, the Ukraine (yes), the Balkans, the Highlands, the Rhineland, the Orange Free State, the Puszta, the Holy Land, the Yukon, the Sudan, the Phillippines, the Gambia, the UK, the US, the Maldives, the Bronx, the Low Countries, the Hamptons, the Lake District, the Congo, the Bahamas. The official government of any place that has one (not the Crimea, for example) has the right to demand on whatever trumped-up grounds it wishes that usages hallowed by long familiarity shall be discarded in official correspondence, but that is all. Names like the places they attach to have histories and Procrustean consistency is notably a virtue of small minds.
“The” Punjabi Boy has spoken
Punjabi Boy,
That’s a good list, a great one. I could only think of one or two names. But let’s not end this thread in a hurry, for it’s nice to distil a rule-of-thumb out of this (like the ones outline in previous posts).
Notice:
the Yukon: Loucheaux word meaning “the BIG river” the UK: the UNITED kingdom the US: the UNITED states the Highlands: the HIGH lands the Netherlands: the NETHER lands the low countries: the LOW countries the KONKAN coast the HOLY land the RHINE land the ORANGE free state the LAKE district
adjectives, or more generally, qualifiers to common nouns (the WHICH land?)
The others are cases where one is collectively referring to many things by a common noun at the same time (as you pointed out), such as
*the Maldives the Bahamas the Hebrides the Phillipines (islands) *the Balkans (states) the 24 parganas (as opposed to “24 parganas”, which seems to invite the question “which 24?”, whereupon you might retort “THE 24, stupid”)
the Doab seems just like the Punjab (two Vs. five rivers?). Sudan seems like it should take a “the” because it means “the land of the blacks”
Thanks to this post, I finally got off my butt to check out “the Bronx”. Here is the answer.
Gothamist: The “The”
Incidentally, the Gambia, the Yukon, the Congo all get their names from rivers. Perhaps short for “the Congo basin” or “the Congo valley” or something. Maybe that’s why Punjab somehow seems to attract a “the”..?
Wow your review of the article summed up everything I was feeling but in a more eloquent “writer” way. I have a subscription to Conde Nast too. Why dont you write to the magazine/readers letters and send what you have written here? I am sure the author would love to hear it. I seriously think Americans/Westerners who use “The punjab” or the indian name check (hilarious btw) dont realize they are doing it. Wouldnt it be refreshing if someone enligtened them? What do you think??? Great review!