You have to kiss a lot of humans …

CNN reports that:

Two giant toads were married in a traditional Hindu ceremony in eastern India … Some 400 people cheered and blew conches as women put streaks of vermilion on the female toad’s head while a band played music and priests solemnized the marriage to the chanting of Hindu hymns.

toadshaadi.jpg This was an arranged marriage for the bufonidae, they were “picked up from separate ponds” and had never met each other before being “dressed in bright red clothes and brought to the marriage venue in a decorated palanquin.”

According to our top secret source (call him Deep Croak) the groom spent the whole time surreptitiously checking out the bride’s legs and wondering if she could cook as well as his mom. The bride, on the other hand, complained that she had no interest in brown toads since they were all chauvinists who cared about nothing other than amplexus and food cooked the way their mother used to. The mothers of the bride and groom spent the entire time coming up with names for all their future tadpoles, and planning their weddings out too.

SepiaMutiny sends the newlyweds a copy of the uncut Harold and Kumar DVD and a year’s membership in the South Asian Sisters. We wish them our mutinous best.

8 thoughts on “You have to kiss a lot of humans …

  1. I’ve had frog legs and their pretty good. For the record, it did not taste like chicken.

  2. Seems like Sepia is not the only group blog to comment on the frog marriage. Brenda Walker, of VDARE.com believes such practices demonstrate that India’s tech status is overblown:

    “The detailed coverage of the nuptials was unlikely to fit the publicity plan of IndiaÂ’s PR machine, which has been busy working to convince Americans that the bad old days of cows and untouchables are over.”

    http://blog.vdare.com/

    Now, unlike the hearty Sepia folk, who have no problem duking it out in the comments section, VDARE does not permit comments. But, you can email the authors, so rather than go into some detailed, World Bank style listing of all of India’s progress, I scribbled off this little note:

    “Wow, marrying toads to bring forth rain. Thankfully, Americans have no such superstitions, aside from gathering every year in Puxsawtaney, PA to watch a groundhog try to see his shadow to determine the length of winter.”

  3. Walker’s response is reprinted here:

    “The difference is that Americans don’t believe in Punxsatawny Phil; it’s merely a fun amusement for a small town that has nothing else happening. But thanks for taking an interest in our rustic American customs. – BW”

    And my reply:

    “Dear Ms. Walker:

    Thank you for the response. While I have never been to Khochakandar, I think it’s safe to say it is also a small town where nothing else is happening. So if someone announces that two frogs are getting married, it’s bound to attract the curious, and 400 people is hardly a crowd in India. Does attending a curious event imply belief in that event?”

  4. “The detailed coverage of the nuptials was unlikely to fit the publicity plan of IndiaÂ’s PR machine, which has been busy working to convince Americans that the bad old days of cows and untouchables are over.”

    The president of India is from an untouchable caste. I dont think India’s PR machine is trying to convince people that cow worship does not happen anymore.

  5. “The president of India is from an untouchable caste. “

    To clarify – the previous president, Narayan, was a Dalit. India’s current president is a Tamil Muslim and the father of India’s rocketry program.

  6. “The difference is that Americans don’t believe in Punxsatawny Phil; it’s merely a fun amusement for a small town that has nothing else happening. But thanks for taking an interest in our rustic American customs. – BW”

    As opposed to creationism, which is fun amusement for portions of the country that are hellbent on destroying our educational system and/or faith in modernity. And all those people that think the Dow should really be at 36,000 right now 🙂