Screw blogging. I need to become an agent. SHOW ME THE MONEY! From ESPN’s Page 2:
Everyone is talking about it but no one can believe it. No one wants to believe it. Ninety million dollars? For a teenager? For a snot-nosed kid who’s never even competed at the college level, let alone the pros? Utter insanity.
Yeah, well, I’m the agent for that snot-nosed kid. And I’m here to tell you, this endorsement contract makes so much sense that I guarantee within five years, $90 million will seem like a damn bargain for the winner of the National Spelling Bee.
Why, the revenue from his personal line of pocket protectors and “You are here” solar system T-shirts will cover the $90 million nut, easy. After that, the sales from the “Got Paste?” campaign will be pure profit.
Besides, this kid isn’t going to embarrass anybody down the road. His name is rock solid. There aren’t going to be any paternity suits. There aren’t going to be any bling-wearing posses getting pulled over in his Escalade for smoking weed. He’s a spelling bee champion, for God’s sake. He doesn’t have any friends, let alone a posse. And even with $90 million drawing interest in his savings account, I doubt if there are any girls out there who want to spend an afternoon watching “Matrix Reloaded” over and over with him. Let alone have sex.
Whoa. That last line was excessively harsh. My boy IS gonna’ get some play now that he’s famous. I can’t spell worth crap (as evidenced plenty of times on this blog) or else I’d be living the thug life just like he’s about to.
That’s just the way this business works. I’m not proud of it. Blame it on television. Ever since they began broadcasting the National Spelling Bee on TV, everybody wants a piece of the action. And why shouldn’t the kid get his slice, just because he’ll wind up blowing it on Clearasil?
Trust me, you don’t know the half of it — and you don’t want to, either. I’ve seen parents send a six-year-old to timeout for three hours just because she didn’t know whether “catsup” or “ketchup” was the accepted spelling. The sad thing is, both spellings are.
Gotta’ get rich or die trying.
Is this for real???
This has to be a joke.
Relax its a joke. 🙂 That’s while I filed it under humor. Let’s see if TOI picks it up though. 🙂
It’s sort of heartbreaking that he already looks like a Microsoft middle manager…
Abhi, you need to be careful when posting stuff like this. I mean, what if The Times of India reads it?
You mean the paunch tucked into khakis and the rimless glasses sliding off his nose? I think he looks adorable.
Yeah, I think he’s adorable too. He could totally come to my house for some Ovaltine and Nilla wafers..
Punjabi Chikki
Did I inspire your name?
Hahaha.. What Abhi said cracked me up . It wud be hilarious if TOI actually picks it up. Great news for a serious national newspaper eh?
what a cute little belly he has!
About Anurags belly; I’m sure he not only knows how to spell but is also over familiar with the taste of Desi Ghee.
looks like a real padhakoo
Punjabi Boy –
NO. Teehee. Do u know what “Chikki” is?
Do they have Chikki in Punjab?
HOLY CRAP ANURAGS MY FRIEND. WE HAD PE TOGETHER AND HE WAS REALLY NICE. HE ISNT A GEEK. HE HAS FRIENDS. THEY ARENT GEEKY FRIENDS, AND MY FRIEND WANTS HIM. STOP STALKING HIM AND GET A LIFE.
I was in the National Spelling Bee with Anurag – I was speller #181. I watched the clip of him winning on TV (I got out in the second round…with the word “escopeta”) and even though I wasn’t there, it was exhilerating. I could feel his excitement. When we were all packing up to go home, I got him to sign my hoodie (it reads “GUD SPELR” on the back) along with semi-famous second-placer Samir Patel. He is an amazing speller and a nice kid. Just thought you all should know that.
P.S. The column is fairly humorous though, especially because it’s not true.
dude. wtf. im anurag’s friend. and he met bush. bush is a GENIUS. this makes him cool. get a life and get a job. ok. … im wearing a white lacoste t-shirt. my number is (xxx)xxx-xxxx … call me … if u noe wut i mean. 😎 =D … JK . i wudnt want to go out with you losers! making fun of my friend! I HATE YOU. he friggin has his own academic league question! O_O WHATEVER WITH YOU. bye.
hey chang, dude i was next to u while u were uh…typing this haha yea anurag is a pretty cool guy, hes in my french class and…yea…all you ppl have freakin ISSUES man. lemme tell u, since he started tennis…the stomach over the khakis have dissapeared…chillax ppl…chillax… and anurag did read this blog, and thought it was hilarious…just like me and chang. peace out…chillax