Sheba Mariam George, a Postdoctoral Fellow at the University of California, Los Angeles, is set to release a book next month titled, When Women Come First: Gender and Class in Transnational Migration:
With a subtle yet penetrating understanding of the intricate interplay of gender, race, and class, Sheba George examines an unusual immigration pattern to analyze what happens when women who migrate before men become the breadwinners in the family. Focusing on a group of female nurses who moved from India to the United States before their husbands, she shows that this story of economic mobility and professional achievement conceals underlying conditions of upheaval not only in the families and immigrant community but also in the sending community in India. This richly textured and impeccably researched study deftly illustrates the complex reconfigurations of gender and class relations concealed behind a quintessential American success story.
When Women Come First explains how men who lost social status in the immigration process attempted to reclaim ground by creating new roles for themselves in their church. Ironically, they were stigmatized by other upper class immigrants as men who needed to “play in the church” because the “nurses were the bosses” in their homes. At the same time, the nurses were stigmatized as lower class, sexually loose women with too much independence. George’s absorbing story of how these women and men negotiate this complicated network provides a groundbreaking perspective on the shifting interactions of two nations and two cultures.
I think this might be a good stocking stuffer during Christmas for many Mallu moms. Apparently it wouldn’t be a good idea to let any men in the house see it though. You know, bruised egos and all.Indolink has more:
According to Sheba George, the nursing profession is often viewed in India as a “dirty” occupation for women, partly because it involves touching unknown men. It is a well-paid occupation, however, and a current worldwide shortage of nurses makes it relatively easy for them to emigrate, bringing their families with them. However, their husbands are caught in a difficult dilemma. On the one hand, a working wife brings certain economic benefits. On the other, she breaks all conventions of the man being the breadwinner and unquestioned head of the household. Many of these men once held respected professional jobs in India, but are now relegated to laboring in blue-collar jobs, looking after the kids, and cleaning the house. To bolster their self-esteem, they take on leadership positions in church-going as far as to set up a new congregation if necessary.
As George explains: “Whereas with most other Asian Indian groups, the men immigrate first, in the case of Kerala Christians, female nurses have come first and only later sponsored husbands and families.” In the process they became the “uncontested breadwinners” while the men became “downwardly mobile, both economically and socially” resulting in “drastic changes in gender relations in their households.”
Just recently The EB-3 amendment was incorporated into the “The Emergency Supplemental Appropriations for Defense, the Global War on Terror, and Tsunami Relief Act, 2005,” which was recently signed by President Bush. The EB-3 act makes it possible to utilize unused EB-3 visas from 2001 to 2004 and dedicate half of them to help resolve the nursing shortage, mostly be allowing the recruitment of nurses from India and the Philippines.
This is great. Since my mother was one of these women who left her family in India and came to the States in teh early 1970s.
Wow, great post, especially since it hits home. My home, to be exact 🙂
But two issues with some of the claims in the article:
First, I find the theory that men are “playing church” because they are economically emasculated to be a bunch of bull. Look to Kerala, where the men are the main breadwinners. The church roles over there are no different. The Kerala-resident men “play church” just as aggressively and politically as the American-resident Mallu men. I would even dare say that Malayalee women in America play a greater role in the church.
Additionally, the church plays a special role among all Malayalees. For better or worse, it is the center of Malayalee culture in America (or at least it was when I was growing up). I think that men are more involved precisely because of this.
Secondly, while nursing was traditionally viewed as an “low” profession, it is respectable among Keralites, especially the Christians. I don’t know how much the opinions of people outside Kerala would effect the people living in Kerala – in my opinion, it’s insignificant.
From what the Indolink article says, I think many of the claims are exaggerated. Nevertheless, I look forward to reading her book.
On the contrary. Most Malayalee women who are nurses are indeed the breadwinner of the family. The men are indeed relegated to mostly “blue collar” jobs. And it is no lie that they try to play a prominent role at church (where they can be Alpha dogs). Women, though active in the church play a secondary role. It was about 15 years ago that they (women) actually started sitting with the men in our church. And my church is the “reformed” of the two Syrian Orthodox churches.
And the way it happened was quite interesting. A recently married Indian-born but American raised couple came back from their honeymoon and sat together. In the weeks following, slowly but surely, all the women started to sit next to their husbands.
I’ve never know of any church edict that the sexes be separated in church, probably the last vestige of Orthodoxy, but it was beautiful how it just melted away.
Looking back at my comment, when I said:
I meant: American-Malayalee women play a greater role in the church when compared to their counterparts in Kerala – so the church isn’t exclusively reserved for those Alpha Dog men trying to prove their self-worth independent of their wives.
On the flip side, Ms. George could very well argue that the more increased role of Malayalee women in the American church has been brought about by their economic power.
When you say American-Malayalee do you mean women who are of Malayalee descent who were born and raised here in the US? Or Malayalee women who have been living here for the past 30-35 years, worked as nurses and have husbands who work at blue collar jobs and make less than them?
In the comment, I used “American-Malayalee” to mean the Malayalee women living here for the past 30-35 years with husbands who make less than them.
Now granted, these women don’t hold the highest positions within the church. But compared to the years past and to the role of women in the church in Kerala, I would say they play an increased role. A few examples that pop to mind are Sunday School teachers and leading the choirs.
In conclusion, what I’m getting at is that I disagree with the characterization that men are taking “on leadership positions in church” to bolster their self esteem in the face of being marginalized economically. I’ll admit that I haven’t exactly made the strongest argument.
Additionally, when I consider the leadership boards of several Indian churches, I don’t see this pattern. However, I hope she bolsters her argument in her book by giving specific examples of where this occurs.
I’m not positive- but I think book is directly talking about members of the Malayalee Pentecostal Christian community, of which I’m a part. I have always been interested know if anyone has actually done a study on the dynamics of the typical malu family with this kind of upheaval. It is quite a complex situation. Almost makes me want to go out and buy the book rather than borrow it from a friend and never give it back.
Although there are quite a few pentecostal Malu mothers who came over to the US first because they were nurses, I don’t believe this book is referring to just the pentecostals. Rather I think its more focused on orthodox, considering she has a whole appendix titled: Appendix 3: Transnational Organizational Structure of the Indian Orthodox Church.
Also, I noticed someone mentioned that nurses were looked down upon. That’s actually true. Many women saw it as a way out of poverty and if you talk to our older relatives, there was a stigma against marrying a nurse — unless of course they were poor too and wanted to get some money into the family. Of course this wasn’t the case for everyone, however that was a popular stigma among other high society Indians.
Anyway, I definitely would love to buy this book and not borrow it 😉 Along with this Kerala cookbook mentioned on nirali magazine. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060192577/qid=/sr=/ref=cm_lm_asin/002-1175093-8455234?v=glance
This post hits home for me too, my mom was an Orthodox nurse who came over first as well. Luckily, my dad landed a decent white collar job (altho mom still earns more, and i’ve seen tensions flare up over this issue once in a while)…but i’ve definitely heard of many cases of men turning to alcohol and spousal abuse which probably results in part b/c of the role reversal. I’ve never heard of nurses being looked down upon, but I guess they probably were in the old days before it was deemed a surefire moneyaker.
The church issue is a little more complex…men more actively and divisively involved in politics may be caused in part by economic emasculation…but moreso i think b/c of a lack of things to do or boredom. As immigrants, I think the church was the one reminder of Kerala that they had outside of their homes in America. Lack of a chai kadda or marketplace or town to congregate and gossip and to be active in and getting bored sitting at home, i think has magnified the church’s role as social hub in America amongst the Keralite Christians.
Turbanhead, what kind of hippie-ass orthodox church do you belong? Intermingling of the sexes! What’s next?? Heavy petting will surely follow! … That’s very weird that instead of chiding this couple for breaking custom, the aunties were eager to follow suit. That to me is more surprising than the actual couple sitting next to each other in church. I’ve seen that happen before, but its never caught on like wildfire like in your church.
Moral of the story: cultural norms are not as ingrained as we think they realy are
Being raised in Kottayam and having frequented the orthodox and Mar Thoma churches in LA. IÂ’ve had the opportunity to observe mallu Christians grappling with the American experience at length. Their attempt to reinvent re-secure old fob roles as I see itÂ… the author is a fob (sans the deodorant). The sense that I get of the gender role is that men are the power centers in all their public roles. The church is possibly the only credible expression of this… This over dominance and zeal expressed in his Sunday role is also the reason why the church has an amoeba like behavior…every few years a WWF brawl breaks out and the church splits… this applies across the board from NY to Chicago to LA…. every mallu Christian whose been to a church here knows how thereÂ’s a section on the “achen’s”(pastors) side and a dissidents side. The yearning to assert the lost role breadwinner role is possibly the reason for the much more frequent splits in most orthodox, CSI and Mar Thoma churches…. (IÂ’m assuming since the Pentecostals are much more “hard core” in their faiths..Politics is not much of an issue…and off course they’re the only ones going to heaven anyways…) About the power dynamics in the household the sense I get is…Its easy to assume that economic power dictates decision making powers in the house…but sans economics ive noticed this across the board from tiruvalla to kottayam too.. a strong hold of MalluSyrian Xians (47%). Woman rule the roost irrespective of economic prowess…they play much more dominant decision making positions many times not so publicly … be reminded that men are also tad outnumbered. 1:1.1. Its quiet reasonable that they carry the same social dynamics wherever they live. In conclusion about the Nurses economic and social position my feeling is that the nursing profession is not a preferred line of work…but economic constraints take precedence over social preferences…So its pretty standard that lower and lower middle class families are the feeding lines to the huge mass of the nurse populace.
All said and done MALLUS RULE!
Well Mr. Kunjuachen, Pentecostals are the only ones going to heaven; you’re right on that 🙂 But politics does not escape us either. I actually thought this phenomena of amoeba like church splitting only happend to Pentecostal malu churches– it’s nice to know that the heathens experience the same thing.
sorry for the past post, I accidently clicked post before I was ready to send it. This is how I wanted it to look like:
You’re being sarcastic, right?
Dear American Malayalee…I wasnÂ’t being sarcastic…since I’ve been to a few households and see a much deeper.. Eh.. closer association with the faith (“stotram!”)..I assumed that trivialities of playing politics in church wouldnÂ’t interests the Pentecostals…but I’m so glad someone did a study on this American phenomenon nonetheless
kottayam_kunjuachen, From my experience, the term “faith” is used by Christians and other religions as a way to avoid providing evidence to support their beliefs. They state that one must blindly believe through “faith,” even though there is no proof to support their belief that one will go to heaven if they believe Jesus is the messiah.
I also think that by saying that only a certain amount of people are going to heaven, you are coming off as “I am holier than thou” to non-Christians. How do you prove who and who does not go to heaven? My parents are of the Syro-Malabar rite, but I went to church in the Latin (Catholic) rite since there were no Syro-Malabar churches where I grew up (Orange County, CA). It wasn’t until recently that a Syro-Malabar church was started there and contrary to the trend, there has not been a WWF brawl in the church yet.
The Pentecostal houses you visited must have had a lot of “faith,” but I don’t think as a group they are any better than the other sects. Anyone who has gone to a Pentecostal, Mar Thoma, CSI, etc. Youth Convention will tell you that these conferences are merely “meat markets” and places for young adults to party their religious hearts out. What appears to me is that hypocrisy is more prevalent than “faith” in these religions.
Dear American Malayalee, I apologize if I came across as self-righeous..what you and me are going to do is reinvent the wheel but I will labour nonetheless…I feel like a martyr already. 😉 ..and before I proceed let me state that IÂ’m not a Pentecostal and I merely choose to compliment a certain manner of Christian expression…pente in this case with some elysian attributes. And No! Pentecostals donÂ’t have the high way to heavenÂ….Syro-malabar, Pentecostal or any other expression of Christianity strives the same thing…I just choose to look at a certain manner of belief (pente) in this case and hoped that they probably practice a tad more than what everyone preaches…my experiences with them are few and far between to make that call… About the manner of “faith”…youÂ’ve hit the nail on the head..your anger at being misled by organized religion is understandable. I have no greater knowledge about the other religions that you take offence to…. but I can only speak about the theological threads of Christianity that I have grappled with… Each expression of Christianity IÂ’ve come in contact with has no real incentive in keeping you tricked in ignorance.. your tryst with “faith ” is something faced by every christian..many come to terms with it easier than others…and yes there is no cause-effect proof that wicked Christian tricksters can espouse to make skeptics happy……so the only answer is to keep looking…..I just look at the many who have believed and the manner in which they have lived there life…the charity many churches practise..if youÂ’ve seen a couple of dirty lepers in CalcuttaÂ…youÂ’ll knowÂ…it takes a lot more than “faith”!(IÂ’m not a catholic either)..the jist is love and charity to your fellows ..neighbours or otherwise. (sounds really uncool and corny! IÂ’m sorry about that)…all in all its a question of where you find your calling..Â….for many blind faith sufficesÂ…. for me it hasnÂ’tÂ…but if yours is agnosticism ….so be it as long as it makes sense to youÂ…
enjoy and chill!
Sounds like it would be a interesting read; unfortunelty no real Malu will ever pay for a Book (expect of course X86 Microprocessor design, and the Malayalam Bible).
So the only way to its going to get read if its gets scanned, OCRed and put on some file sharing network. Some get to work!
Wow! Thanks for posting this! I (ex-Syro Catholic born and raised Malu now apathetic agnostic) have LONGGGGG been interested in this topic.
I’m glad that Dr. Sheba George has made the effort to get this down on paper. You see, we South Indians are so used to the North Indians hogging all the media attention, we jump for joy when there’s something about us.
I know couples where the overworked, overcooked, and overcleaned wife makes at least four times the husband does – all that overtime does add up. Roughly $100+ to $25K (my goodness, you make so much, and you’re STILL not happy) which is a big income difference. In those cases, many of the men do get discouraged, and then it becomes this endless cycle of friction between the two.
IME, like Joe said, it’s a little better when their incomes are nearly equal. But then, if it’s not $$$, Malus will find some other reason to be overly critical.
Of course, as with most Asian cultures, saving face is quite common, so it’s difficult to measure how much domestic violence and alcoholicism correlate with the husband’s income (relative to wifey’s). Even then, there are riches to rags Indians, and I wonder if men changed their behavior toward their wives when their incomes exploded.
I’m not proud to be Malu. Seriously. I feel so traumatized and trapped by our cultural and relgious heritage (they make it seem as one cannot exist w/o the other). I know I am not the only one either. I hope the next gen won’t be as emotionnally and psychologically screwed up as first one.
That being said, I’m going pre-order her book which is due at the end of July. I hope you will, too.
P.S. ROTF – “WWF brawls in church”
K-K writes “Each expression of Christianity IÂ’ve come in contact with has no real incentive in keeping you tricked in ignorance”
Ever heard of the Religious Right in America? Who benefits from genuine Christian hearts?
kottayam_kunjuachen, I’m glad I understand your position now. The interesting thing is that even though I am agnostic, I still go to Church every Sunday. Each Sunday service is a torture, but I do it because I know my Mom (who of course is an RN) would die if I didn’t go. Church for me is just a cultural and social connection to my Indian heritage (Syro-Malabar). I know that I’m a hypocrite by proclaiming myself as an agnostic and still going to Church, but I still can’t escape the strong cultural monopoly that the Church has on what it means to be Malayalee .
While I applaud the educated Malayalee women who are nurses, I take offense at Sheba George’s comment about Malayalee Christian men. Mallu men are extremely educated. Since there is a plethora of Mallu doctors in the U.S., they established their own physician organization, A.K.M.G. (Association of Kerala Medical Graduates) here in the U.S. Likewise, they have established their own Engineer Associations. Both groups are predominately comprised of Mallu Christian men who emigrated here either before or with their wives.
Sindhya, my late father was an engineer who married an RN; he came to this country before my mother did. in fact, they met in this country, so there was no tension wrt leaving him behind, but i recognise that their story is highly anomalous. i appreciate your comments, since they show that malayalees are as diverse as any other group. Dr. George’s research is important, but i do want to remind people that it may not necessarily apply to every kid whose mom is a nurse.
speaking of my father, i wish he were around, so that he could tell me, again, about all the different Catholic sects of Kerala. i could’ve swore he discussed a group that had converted to Catholicism from the Orthodox or Jacobite church and were therefore “closer” to us. it’s not as simple as just saying “most mallu xtians are catholic”, b/c these “hybrids”– for lack of a better term– passed fluidly from our church to theirs. it’s just not that clearly defined, (unless you’re KNA).
anyway, this entire post fascinates me; previously, i’d never heard of the “stigma” attached to nursing. i’d give almost anything to go back in time to when my mom was younger than i am now, to take the pulse of the society she left and the attitudes her choice inspired.
I think the study is only of Malayalee nurses who came to the States. But I believe the same applies to Malayalee nurses who have migrated to places besides the US. I seem to recall a horde that went to the middle-east. Often the men that tagged along would be considered hangers-on ‘cuz it was the women that brought home the bacon. Just pointing out a societal perception that hopefully we have put behind us.
In response to lostone’s comment: “Sounds like it would be a interesting read; unfortunelty no real Malu will ever pay for a Book (expect of course X86 Microprocessor design, and the Malayalam Bible).”
You’ve got to be kidding me. Growing up in a Malu household, I was taught that the ONLY things worth spending money on were books.
Anyway, interesting post…I’m looking forward to having my family read this book and hearing what my mom (a nurse who “came here first”) and dad (a professional) have to say about it. Also, I, too, am shocked by Turbanhead’s revelation of an Orthodox church where gasp men and women sit together. Us kids used to be the rebels when we’d sit co-ed after church during meetings. 🙂
So you mean to tell me that non-Pentecostal (heathen) malayalee churches also disallow intermingling of the sexes? This is truly amazing.. Sepia Mutiny educates me all the time now. I think I might drop out of college… It’s community college anyways.
daycruz, even if you are joking, I don’t find it funny.
Another uptight Malayalee, how shocking. Really.. I’m shocked. I’m sorry you don’t find it funny, sometimes people don’t find my jokes funny.
now, now my heavenly brothers and sisters…play nice or the lord will smite you. 😉
You can call me uptight, but the reason I am offended is because I have heard the word “heathen” used by Christians to describe non-Christians far too many times.
No one ever told me you could study mallus and mallu Christians and make a living at that.. daycruz IÂ’m dropping out of school too…. iÂ’m going to study mallus and the ergonomics of the lungi use in churches in India…heathens and other folk waste a lot of their time.. untying and retying the Lungi….iÂ’m even thinking of studying faith transitions from FOB to ABCD’s…how the hypocrisies map into the next generations…and this time …im not leaving out the Pentecostals..
Anna, the “group that had converted to Catholicism from the Orthodox or Jacobite church and were therefore “closer” to us” are the Syro-Malankara rite. Fascinatng mix of influences. Half of the Mass is in Syrian( um, I think – some MidEastern language) the rest in Malayalam. “Closer to us” , but still very different from the run-of-the-mill gotta-spent-an-hour-and-scram Syro-Malabar Mass. There’s even a bit where the priest gets curtained off from the worshippers (viewers? audience?).
So the only way to its going to get read if its gets scanned, OCRed and put on some file sharing network. Some get to work!
No need, it will be in google print soon enough! http://print.google.com/ Some of her earlier writings is already there. Do an exact search, “Sheba George”, and it should come up. http://print.google.com/print?ie=UTF-8&q=%22Sheba+George%22&btnG=Search That first article is probably a chapter in this book! http://print.google.com/print?q=schisms+IN+AN+INDIAN+IMMIGRANT+CHURCH+SHEBA+GEORGE&ie=UTF-8&prev=http%3A%2F%2Fprint.google.com%2Fprint%3Fie%3DUTF-8%26q%3D%2522Sheba%2BGeorge%2522%26btnG%3DSearch&id=rPDsH7grIxcC You can’t read the entire article, for example page 210 is resticted.
But I agree with you partly, not many will be buying. I won’t be either! Why do that when you can get it from a library, via an inter-library loan if it’s not at your local library. I think it’s been twenty years since I bought a book of sociology, the year I graduated from college!
Reading all of this is extremely fascinating, living is South Africa and being a first gen malayalee guy, I never knew half the stuff that was said here. Sheesh I have so much to learn. BTW do you American mallu’s know that we exist?
This article is so true. But unlike the states, where many of my cousins and family friends have settled down, things are a bit diffrent in the Middle East. Im a malayalee born in Dubai, UAE. I’ve been living in Dubai since birth till july 2005 when im moved to Australia for my postgraduate studies. I can speak malayalam in a simple conversation but if it’s anything more than that im lost! I can prolly speak more arabic than hindi and to be honest im not exactly in touch with malayali/indian culture due to my upbringing. My Dad earns 3 times more than my mom who’s a nurse as well. My folks actually passed up a chance to move to the west a long time ago since my dad has a secure and highly rewarding government job. For us, India is not too distant for our folks. Both physically and emotionally. I guess someone needs to research on that.
Cheers A DBCM (Dubai Born Confused Mallu)
Ente Makale
I am so glad to see that there is some form of interest in the issues regarding race/ gender/ class as they relate to the Malayali diaspora.
Please keep adding to the discussion… I loved reading all of your thoughts.
This only concretizes in my mind the creation of a new culture among the younger generation of Malayalees… an amalgam of two strains brought into one.
The one issue that I think is not discussed too deeply in the book, and one I think is critical to any discussion regarding any one coming from the “diamond cut” shaped country in Asia is Caste. All the heirarchies involving caste have a lot to do with the Malayali experience. Even between the different Christians. That’s right… there is caste within Christianity. I would love to hear what the author or other have to say about why it is that the so called high caste Christians do not eat with their low caste brothers. Why they do not marry each other, share the same church (except CSI… they share but the high caste get a better view from the front), use different dishes, have to have low caste Christians cover their mouths when speaking to their “high” caste brothers, why they cannot even be buried in the same f’in cemeteries? Any thoughts? How do these hierarchies translate to the US… do they all just translate to materialism … or are caste hierarchies preserved in any other form… deep, hidden and preserved like the good chunks of achar at the bottom of a horlicks bottle.
It’s been a while, but I remember Sheba from when she was a member at the church when she wrote this book. I was in my teens then and I clearly remember her. She took the trust that we gave her and falsly labeled the male role in the church. Maybe she can come around now and show her face and see what marvelous things God is doing in the church. I pray that the whoever reads this book doesn’t get the wrong idea of the truly god fearing malu community.
Groupism in the church is not confined to the mallu churches in America. It’s quite rampant in most of the mallu churches in India (IÂ’m speaking of the churches outside Kerala). Now in India most of the men involved in factionalism and politics in the church are the main, if not only, bread winners of the family. So it couldn’t be a need to prove themselves as they are clearly the bosses at home. Then why do they behave so, well I guess that’s how we mallus are programmed. We need to argue, we need to put others down, we need to feel important among fellow mallus, and oh yes we always know better than our fellow mallus. But as a senior member of the church once told me, the church is like a club, a place for social gathering, where we go to check each other out, a place for ‘news-pidithamÂ’ etc. The strangest thing is that when we do this we donÂ’t seem to get it that this is all so much against the teachings of Christ, ah!.. but then I forgetÂ…itÂ’s just a club right?
As for nursing as a profession not being held in high regard in India, that’s kind of true too. It wasn’t very cool being a nurse in India till the mid 90’s, the working conditions were bad and the pay was quite meager. But things are changing. I remember reading about protests by a local political party in Mumbai a few years ago when ads for recruitment of nurses in one of the prestigious hospitals there, were taken out in English and most probably Malayalam news papers but not in Marathi news papers. The political party was of the opinion that this was a deliberate attempt to recruit south Indian (read malayalee) nurses and deny opportunities to the locals. So you see…times they are a changing.
In reply to Joe’s comment:
“What’s next?? Heavy petting will surely follow! … “
what’s going on in your head when you’re at church???
i am settled in delhi.i come from a community from which a lot of nurses have gone to America.An unhealthy trend that i have seen is this all girls want to be nurses or are forced by family and relatives as they can earn easymoney. The unfortunate aspect is that the men of our community have also got used to being kept by their wives(ie nurses).the bishop of our Knanaya community hs also merrily encouraging this trend of malayalee nurses and their dependent husbands by opening nursing colleges.The reason being to get social status these guys donate generously to the church.Secondly there is no intellectual growth so the church is never questioned but supported Eg Abhaya case. This is a very sorry trend as my neice has got over95% in mathematics and can easily be agreat mathematician but her parents and she want her to be anrse ie a glorified ayah
But non-Indian Christian missionaries who go to India always say, “christianity knows no caste”, and criticise Hindus for the caste system. Yet even in Indian Christianity caste is that strong? I had no idea.
21 · A N N A said
i think that Anna’s comment displays her lack of contact with Malayalees. Nurses are seen as being of lesser families, (they only needed to graduated 10th grade(standard) to get their degree and come abroad. They are known as tacky(new money) and uneducated women whose men keep them inline with straight Keralite values.
[reformatted/edited for clarity]
If you’re going to be an asshole, at least format your comment properly. n00b.
Hold on a second Shalu…
Anna’s written at length about her upbringing, detailing how she went to a Greek Orthodox church, and was not thrust into Mallu culture. Furthermore, SM is made up in part by ABD who are discovering their own heritage, so shouldn’t it seem positively banal that Anna doesn’t know this one tiny facet of the life her parents left behind? Speaking more broadly, the contributors at SM don’t profess to speak for all of the Indians in the world, in America, or even in their respective towns. It’s a gathering of like-minded people who have sought each other out for the sake of community. More importantly, this is an open community that has accepted all people, decent and otherwise. However, nobody here has had to pass your arbitrary “authenticity” test, and that’s a good thing. And if you don’t like that fact there are plenty of other places on the internet you can hang out.