Bong on Bongs

Tatonnement pokes fun at fellow Bengalis, who may just lay claim to being the French of India, Pondicherry be damned:

Q) What do you call three Bengali men?
A) Two Political Parties…

We are actually a race of well-bred intellectuals interested in art, culture and the finer things of life. Gentlemen who watch cricket and… What’s that you say? Dravid is a better captain!?! …

For Bengalis more than other communities, the size of their immediate cohort almost completely determines their behaviour. The average Bengali is a pack animal… The sight of other werewolves is just the spark he needs and Dr. Bruce Bandopadhyay finds himself answering the call of the wild – transforming into a green-skinned monster… laying waste to every heavy vehicle… [the] Bonglomeration… is a sight to behold…

The Bonglomeration has risen in the past to fend of attacks from such savage races as the British and the Punjabis, who made the mistake of underestimating the capacity for violence in the Bengali, thanks probably to impressions formed based on Bengalis they personally knew…  remember that however mild-mannered your Bengali colleague may seem, do not provoke him in the presence of the Bonglomeration. Your life is forfeit if you do…

And this:

Nicknames must be humiliating. If you are a tall strapping boy, with a flair for soccer, an easy charm and an endearing personality, then you shall be nicknamed – Bhondu. And every time, you have set your sights on a girl, and are on the verge of having the aforementioned lass eat out of your hand – your mother will arrive and pronounce loudly – “Bhondu, chalo”…

If it took you a little too long to shed your baby fat, then years of gymming will not rid you of the nomenclature – Motka. If your face turned crimson when you cried as a toddler, you will be called Laltu… If one member of the family calls you Piklu, then another will call you Mitul, and another will call you Jumbo. The humiliation multiplies.

Is he stereotyping Bongs? IOKIYAB (it’s ok if…)

56 thoughts on “Bong on Bongs

  1. I believe that Bengalis have long outlived their erstwhile reputation of intellect & artistic flair. Internationally, Bengalis are less known for their ancients (Rabindranath, Satyajit Ray, & co.), and more in relation to the flourishing sex trade industry of Kolkata.

    What are you, f@#king kidding? I guess Jhumpa Lahiri, Amartya Sen, Monica Ali, Arundhati Roy (half bong), Bharati Mukherjee, Partha Chatterjee, Sumit Sarkar, Mrilani Sen, Taslima Nasrin, Gayatri Spivak, Aladdin, and several members of Asian Dub Foundation have done nothing in the past 10-15 years.

    Now if you want to make an argument that the reputation was overrated to begin with (and unfair to the rest of South Asia), I can buy that. But don’t give me some f@#ked up orientalist interpretation based on what U.S. film audiences like. Especially without mentioning Hrithik Ghatak 😉

    “Bengalis have long outlived their erstwhile reputation of intellect & artistic flair”- in many ways true. Since last 3 1/2 decades many educated Bengalis have migrated to Delhi, Mumbai and other places for a better living.

    Oh no! What will we do! Taslima Nasrin lives in Kolkata, Amartya Sen and members of Asian Dub Foundation live in the UK, and Jhumpa Lahiri lives in Brooklyn. I think we’ll manage 😉 Plus culture is not just the product of “educated” classes.

  2. Talking of stereotyping, this is something I recd from one bong – difficult to say if it is lacedwith pride or what…

    “One phrase every Bengali worth his sweater has grown up with is thanda lege jabey. It is the ultimate warning of impending doom, an unadulterated form of existentialist advice. Thanda lege jabey. Thou shalt ‘catch the cold’.

    ‘Catching the cold’ comes easy to Bengalis. It’s a skill that’s acquired almost immediately after birth. Watch a Bengali baby and you would know. Wrapped in layers of warm clothing even if the sun is boiling the mercury, the baby learns quickly that his chances of survival in a Bengali household depend on how tightly he can wrap himself in cotton, linen and wool. Bengalis have almost romanticised warm clothing, so much so that Bengali art has found eloquent _expression in a form of quilt-stitchwork called kantha. I’m sure wool-shearers even in faraway Australia say a silent prayer to Bengalis before the shearing season (if there’s any such season). I’m also sure the very thought of Bengalis sends a chill down the spine of many a sheep.

    In winter, the quintessential Bengali’s outfit puts the polar bear to shame.

    Packaged in at least seven layers of cloth ing and the head snugly packed inside the queerest headgear, the monkey cap, he takes the chill head on. Easy lies the head that wears the monkey cap. With a pom-pom at the top, it’s not just a fashion statement; it’s a complete fashion paragraph.

    I remember strolling down the Walk of Fame in Hollywood on a pleasant May evening. My eyes scanned the glittering stars on the asphalt – each an ode to a Hollywood heavyweight. Suddenly, my ears caught the unmistakable Doomsday warning – ‘thanda lege jabey’. I stood transfixed. The Hollywood Walk of Fame is probably the last place one would like to get caught ‘catching the cold’. I turned around. There was this Bengali family braving the American chill. The young brat of the family was adamant that he didn’t want any more clothing but mom wouldn’t have any of it – “sweater porey nao, thanda lege jabey.” I need not translate that. Mom won, and the family – sweaters et al – posed for a photograph.

    For a race that is perpetually running scared of cold weather, Bengalis have a surprising affinity for hill stations.

    Probably, warmth of heart is best preserved in shawls, pullovers and cardigans. In an age when you are judged by how cool or uncool you are,the warmth that the kakus, jethus and mashimas exude can melt icebergs. I wouldn’t trade that warmth for any amount of cool. However, the monkeycap may look cool without the pom-pom.”

  3. for people out there who dont know about bangali history,then let me tell u abit..the bangalis have ruled alot of places,eg:sri lanka,vietnam,madras and other parts of india,punjab,indonesia and cant remember the rest.also our bangali influence is widespread.generally speaking we are a race of gentlemens who dont take shit from people..look up the ancient history of bangladesh.god bless the bangalis and bless india

  4. hi i am filipina and my boyfriend is bangali….he wants to marry me ….is it possible?or do he need to follow the culture

  5. to the person who said “bengali men are liberal…” ya, right. very funny. The majority of bengali men I have met are backwards. They are incredibly old-fashioned and narrow-minded. I think they are probably great within their own community, but outside of that, well no world could possibly exist for them. Based on my own observations, of course. Liberal?? Um, might want to rethink that.