Step 1: Be born to cave-chested parents. Or purge.
Step 2: Hose on some primer and paint. Pluck out your eyebrows so they’re Filipino nail salon thin. Erase all personality, standardize your face so you look like every other club birdie.
Step 3: Make sure your belly’s showing. Don a booty mini. Can’t do much about the cleavage (see step 1).
Step 4: Shoot a skank vid. Grab yourself as much as possible. Tacky eyeshadow is a plus.
Step 5: Do a fawning interview with a British or Canadian desi Web site.
If you get around to it: Oh yeah, cut a track too. Just jack the beats from someone else, I’m sure she won’t mind.
If you have any, get rid of it: originality, singularity, musical talent
See also: D’Luscious, Sneha Mistri, Deeyah
As Jin tha MC said, ‘Don’t take this in a (personal) fashion. Nope, it’s just a good ol’ lyrical bashin’.’ Just how boring is bubblegum pop?
(thanks, sd)
Pluck out your eyebrows so they’re Filipino nail salon thin
Ummmm. Manish, thats quite a descriptive way of phrasing it. Spend time at a lot of Filipino nail salons?? 🙂
Only with the beauticians 🙂 Ever browsed their brows?
Abhi, I found this young lady sometime ago, but check this out: she’s got the Britney Spears chest controversy thing going on. If you look at the video you can see that she, is well, quite big. But when you see the stripper style poses they are small again….hmmmmm
Talking about D-luscious…
jealous are we? too many haters out there. very sad. let em be…don’t pigeon hole all artists in one little pathetic box and call it humour.
God, that Sneha Mistri song and its video are laughably terrible!
Dear humorless,
Never had Venus envy, thank you. Tasteless much?
uh, no. jealous of what? this?
soon-to-be ruler, eh? google define: hubris.
we’re not haters (trust me, i know me some haters), we just like real hotties.
Manish
You know in an earlier thread you referenced a magazine called Hum…is that the same Hum magainzine mentioned in Dave Egger’s Heartbreaking Work etc etc etc??
Yeah, and if you don’t like what Anna said than take that.
Hassan Chop
Yes.
Cool 🙂
for some strange reason, I actually think Sneha Mistri is pretty damn good.
Sonia, I think you compare Deeyah vs SM, and I would go with SM….hey she has the same initials as ‘Sepia Mutiny’…hmmm…but D-luscious we would someone else to compare against
ah man…now every time I’m enjoying this classic, I’m gonna have to think about this…. Why did I watch the clip? Why? I feel dirty.
that must be it .. I did watch it right after Deeyah’s video.
I thought SM’s video was laughable! Deeyah was actually pretty good.
D-lus is the most intriguing overall, although I haven’t seen a video of her yet.
Manish!! Wow!! I originally thought this scathing commentary was penned by Anna.
There can be only one Anna 🙂
I’d like to throw in my candidate for solo heartthrob wanna be guy: Brown Fabio
Favorite laugh: play the track “Turn”
I’m not trying to hate on a guy, but he missed the auditions for the Menudo reunion tour.
Who told Sneha that moulin rouge outfit was cute? She looks like someone stapled a feather duster to her chest.
Ha ha ha ha. Funny stuff. These girls are terrible. Sneha is ok but the songs are just so bad.
What makes Tina Sugandh different? Nothing. I saw her in concert a few weeks ago, and she was just as bad.
Oh and dont forget Thara. She’s Indian, too… and SUCKS.
http://www.tharaonline.com
There are some desi’s doing their thing, though:
M.I.A!!! Wow. Her album is picked as top 10 of 2004 in Rolling Stone. She’s signed to a major label in the UK.
http://www.miauk.com
Sumeet. Wow. This girl is going to be a star. She’s on Universal Records in Canada and some other major label in the UK.
http://www.sumeetmusic.com
Other than that, it seems to be all crap.
Tina Sugandh RULES! She writes all her own music (which NO ONE else does) and she’s a great role model for kids. A good girl who loves her family, is an honor role student, who has her head screwed on right, and frankly whose music speaks volumes to me. We need to promote out desi girls, not rip them down, and I hope my little neices have Tina to look up to when she hits the big time! This girl ROCKS!
Yes, Tina Sugandh writes all her music and play several instruments like the guitar and tabla and dances and looks freakin’ awesome on top of all that!! I have never seen a desi girl do all that!
I have Seen Thara live 3 times and she does not suck! She is the only girl out of any the ones u mentioned that has a real shot at making it big so other indian girls can follow. She is the only one who actually can dance CORRECTLY and must be good enough to be the ONLY girl signed to a major AMERICAN record company. Tina is good too!! but totally different. Comparing them is stupid. Sumeet is nothing more then a girl who does dancehall club songs. Nothing she does will ever make main stream radio while Thara has already had a top 20 song in the states and is on Joe Buddens album and Fabolous album! plus she writes everything herself. you should give her another chance.
THARA IS HOT!!!!!!! so is TINA!!!!
Jesus christ, this is the most horrible crap I’ve ever seen.
You’re right, they all look tackily alike, I can’t even tell them apart. Plus their music is equally unforgettable.
I feel depressed.
Most of the South Asian female artists coming out these days (MIA and a few others are exceptions, even though I shouldn’t have to say it) are working on the novelty factor. “Look at me – I’m brown and singing in English! Can you believe it?!” The majority have wack beats and don’t have any sort of art involved in their lyrics or music. Yeah, a lot of artists have a dance track with basic lyrics, but it’s got something in it that makes you want to bump-n-grind. But they’ll also have other tracks that have some lyrical content, or quality music. They don’t have any talent – I bet the aunties don’t even request them to sing at kitty parties. If anything, their videos are great to watch… with the mute button on.
Well the only value in the music is polished production and some good beats….that’s the bump-n-grind quality you were referring to.
Everything else is just talentless exploitation of T&A, though the T isn’t as ample….damn those cave-chest genes!
As for the videos, nah, they aren’t as fun. They’re just clubbers pretending to look sexy and sophisticated. It’s really frustrating to see everyone with straightened long hair, tacky blue eye-shadow, and skimpy little fluff outfits. MIA is beginning to look like a goddess in comparison.
The worst offender is that frikkin D’lucious as she calls herself. Have you seen her shots? She looks like a cheap pornstar with an outfit from the early ’90s. Her name is equally bad….makes me think ‘stripper’.
It’s really bothering me. I’m beginning to think desis have no personality after all. It’s either the nerdy path or the slutty one.
Hmmm… I’ve seen quite a few references about “straightened” hair… implying that most desi girls actually have curly hair??? How does everyone know they straighten their hair? I am of indian descent and I have long bone straight hair (mind you, no tacky eyeshadow or fluff outfits, thank you much) I didn’t think that was odd until now…
Oh yes. I vehemently disagree. And I don’t mind the “nerdy path” so much.
Ah, a defender I see 🙂
No, I’ve seen a lot of girls with really straight hair, but there are also lots of girls with wavy hair, or downright curly. Navi Rawat or Anoushka Shankar anyone? I find it hard to believe that every single South Asian in the public eye has really straight hair. The Brits in particular seem to have this down to an art.
A tell-tale sign of straightened hair: it doesn’t move or fly as fine hair would. There’s a stiffish look.
I guess my peeve is not with the hair itself, because there’s nothing wrong with style. It’s more about the caucasian-izing of desis. How many of these chicks have dye jobs and colored contacts? WAYYY too many. What the hell is wrong with looking desi? Indian woman are some of the most beautiful in the world. Why would you trade in brown soulful eyes for colored contacts that turn your eyes red? Look at sumeetmusic.com and see what I mean.
As for being nerdy and slutty, I take it you agree with the slutty part but not the nerdy? I agree with you though I didn’t literally mean nerdy. I qualify as one myself 😉 But I’m a nerd who also enjoys life. What I mean is people who take no interest outside of textbooks. Case in point: there was this chick I met couple months back, born and bred in Philly. She has no idea who the backstreet boys were. Now you don’t need to be a hipster, but can anyone be that clueless?
I guess I’m generalizing when I comment, but that’s because it covers a lot of ground. It doesn’t necessarily apply to every single desi, just to the majority of the ones I’ve come across.
Truth is, I discovered this site a few days ago by accident (this page in particular, which is why I’m still here lol), and it’s honestly the only desi site I’ve stayed on. I’m impressed by the people here because they seem normal like me! For a while I was beginning to think I was odd or something, but when I finally found some down-to-earth desis here I swore I heard the Hallelujah chorus.
Its amazing to me, everyone wants to tear down the few girls trying to trail blaze a path into popstardom. Why is it ok for Shakira to shake her ass and look slutty, but its not ok for an Indian girl to do so? Its hard enough as it is trying rise above the old family values and strive for something new. We should be helping these girls do great things. The Indian boys too need some love, Raghav and Jay Sean are busting thier asses and we still download thier music instead of buying it…. Where are my REAL Desi supporters???
the issue is more complicated. your idea of what a “Desi” woman is very narrow. there are tonnes of pakistani women who have blue, green, grey, etc etc and light hair. So are these girls imitating “white” girls or just desi girls with the above features?
Thats actually a great point! My uncle has ice blue eyes! If we put ourselves in an image box, then so will everyone else. Thanks for making that point Chicken!!!! Ash
wow, interesting read after all these years. hmm…… i do love a bit of pop still. i don´t remember ever trying to be white, or trying to be a novelty for anyone. never jacked anyones beats, just went with the flow and had fun. still am 😉 what you all up to these days? still have the “tree” corset, great fun at parties. sneha xx