Bad Indian Girl: Just how I like ’em

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Tipster Dhrumil directs our attention to a new and entertaining little website: Bad Indian Girl.com

Welcome to BadIndianGirl.com. This is a one stop destination where Indian women who are mislabeled by their overbearing relatives can come together and vent. We at B.I.G. believe that there are many stereotypes within the Westernized Indian Community and such stereotypes should be approached in a humorous way. Some may feel that this site is desecrating Indian value systems that have been carefully brought upon us by our parents. Some may feel this site is poking fun at elderly Indian folks and disrespecting the Indian culture. And some may even feel that they can directly relate to the profiles of Raju, Payal, Pervert Uncle and the Nosy Auntie. It is not our job to protect people’s emotions that may be offended by the material. Our job is to take a funny approach to some frustrating issues prevalent in the general Indian Community. Of course there is no such thing as a “Bad Indian Girl” or even a “Good Indian Girl”. These are labels that are brought forth by community members who are quick to judge an individual based on her lifestyle. This site is designed to make you laugh. If it does anything other than that you are free to express your opinion on our forum or send us an email. In any case, please enjoy this site for what it is and remember a BadIndianGirl is as fictitious as any other character on this site.

Among the difficult issues covered on this site are:
-How to tell off your nosy auntie

-Top 10 signs that your family has secretly posted your profile on an Indian Matrimonial site

-How to handle the Pervert Indian Uncle of the Indian Community

The one that I am looking forward to is:
-How to prevent yourself from having Auntie Butt and Sari Rolls (coming soon)

144 thoughts on “Bad Indian Girl: Just how I like ’em”

  1. Et tu, Abhi? Unbelievable.

    To all mutineers: If we offend, it is with our good will. That you should think, we come not to offend (or to launch ad hominem attacks), But with good will. To show our simple skill, That is the true beginning of our end.

    Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Juhiet shall restore amends (while Juliette seeks restitution and punitive damages for pain and suffering).

  2. Peace, ho! no outrage: peace!
    This Manish is noble and his fame folds in This orb o’ the earth. Their last offences to us Shall have judicious hearing. Stand, Abhi,
    And trouble not the peace.

    I ain’t tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered, it ain’t worth it I can’t think of a perfecter way to word it Then to just say that I love y’all too much to see the verdict I’ll walk away from it all ‘fore I let it go any further

  3. I’m sorry cococolored but I think your problem is with you. I don’t mean to be rude, but just get off it. You’ve got no right to generalize about desi men. Even being desi and you seem to have dated a few desi men, you’re in NO position to cast judgement.

    I don’t mean to be overly harsh, but if you felt stupid with what you initially wrote, thats probably a good sign that it was stupid.

    As for your problems with the men in your life; A) your choice of men, your inclination of who you are choosing says more about you than it does any other single person — for good or bad.

    If I were to consistently choose women who were x, y, or z bad for me thats MY deal, something about Me. To take that and pretend to be doing some kind of sociological survey of desi men? Ridiculous.

    I don’t mean to be harsh but this whole blasting generalizations thing is just not anywhere near reasonable. Its dehumanizing and ridiculous.

    Sorry to harsh the poetry jam

  4. now why y’all gotta go and start hatin’ when what we should be doin’ is lovin’ and matin’? this is our space to come together and unite not to dish out our might and fight.

    peace.

  5. raju busts out with a rant so loud, he’s so harsh ’cause she was oh-so-proud. point well taken, but now the beats are drowned by cacophonic words from a schizophrenic crowd.

    but relax [pause], we takes it back, re-in-car-nated like the iron merrimack. whack geeksta rap will always overflow your stack while real mcs are left to pick up the slack:

    raju, words is words, and reason has its season, but nothin quite beats right rhymes in bein’ pleasin’.

    bring it back, y’all! bring it back, bring it back, bring it back y’all!

    please? 🙂

  6. granted i ruined the mood and i deserve to be called out for trying to “show verbal might”

    but the viewpoint she was putting out, if you’re taking it seriously, is dehumanizing….she’s telling me i can’t kiss, i don’t know how to make love, that she knows all my problems and has the right to tell other people what they are

  8. sorry people (looking at the floor)…..that was too harsh on my part. Yes, like the GG told I had a choice. Though I was not stereotyping ppl, UMMMM….I think I was classifying ppl?

    Well let me explain …someone so bad from inside claims that one knows everyting about my people just because one has the same color skin as me make me furious (I ain’t as meek as one wud like to see a desi…not QUITE the gandhi…u know). I considers this the worst betrayal and thats when something inside me TOTALLY REFUSES to be put in “that” category.

    I wish my sense of humor was with me right at this moment, oh…well atleast I hope my response is a lil tactful this time. I kinda crashed the romeo-juliet party too. The spuidity of love never ceases to amaze me. If a german can love a french, in the middle of WWII, this is nothing. Hopefully there will be some love here too.

  9. So, you are a good kisser? Is this a self proclamation? Have you asked the ppl you are kissing or have they voluntarily told you, “Wow, Raju. You are a great kisser?” 🙂 C’mon. Smile. Don’t hate me….it’s funny s*it…

  10. well i wouldn’t kiss someone who calls me names so nah-nah, but…..affection and imagination = good sex. its not kosher to brag about the old “ahem-ahum” but i’ve had “positive feedback”

    in all seriousness, its f’ed up to put all of us on blast; everything you wrote was a straight-up stereotype of an asian/indian man— particularly the desexualization

    lates

  11. oh i see some love coming between cococolored and raju. all good relationships start with a good argument about how the other person is totally obnoxious.

  13. Me, too = already taken. But it’s really funny, regardless…. So, has your woman told you that you are a good kisser? Can she keep her hands off of you? You must be a machine, Raju!

  14. yeah whatever, its not really all that funny and its particularly not your business what kind of kisser I might be given your stereotypes of desi men

    ps yeah I am a machine…hours lady, hours

  15. i want to be more clear:

    i don’t think you’re funny because your stereotypes of desi men are dehumanizing and exactly the way asian and indian men have been desexualized for maybe, a hundred years in the US

  16. I wouldn’t know. I’m young and I haven’t been desexualizing men or desi/asian men in the US besides my little rant, which as you can tell, I’m over and have apologized for already. I think you need to get over your hate and paranoia of those who you feel are out to “get you”–from what I can see it’s all the people in the US. For goodness sake, Raju, chill and relax. I was not pointing the finger at YOU. However, since you’ve been concentrating on this for quite some time, you are making yourself out to be a little over zealous to everyone.

    Pull the stick out…. You know, the one that is lodged in there, that you can’t seem to find. Maybe get your girl to assist you because I could really care less! I am not interested in you, I was only kidding and trying to bring humor to this….as comic relief.

    And just FYI, I used to date a vietnamese guy and I thought the world of him–still do. Whoops. There goes your stereotype.

  17. thing was, you never did actually apologize unless i missed it. as far as i know you still pretty much believe what you wrote, in which case i’m not sure why i should find it funny

    there’s no stick, but why should what you said just be ignored when its pretty much a harmful stereotype, especially since you haven’t really said it was a stereotype

  19. Yo, Raju, you’re trying to talk sense RE stereotypes to someone who calls herself “cococolored”…

  21. Guy’s, everyone lighten up please. 🙂 As a neutral observer I thought coco had apologized and was trying to be friendly. Look at it this way. If even a single guy or girl reading this thread has promised to give a desi of the opposite sex another chance, then we (all of us) have done our jobs. We even learned a little Shakespeare along the way.

  22. Thank you. Yes, I did mention that I felt stupid for what I posted–> pretty much equivalent to I’m sorry without really saying it. hint, hint, Raju I mentioned that I only read halfway down in the post when everyone else was complaining about desi men and did it because “everyone else did” and I wanted to say my little rant. You are holding on to this way too long and somehow I see that this has been festering with you for a long time. And let me point something else out to you: Why, if you have a woman and are happy, why do you let these things bother you? Generalizations shouldn’t affect you so much if you have confidence and are happy with yourself.

    I refuse to say it’s a stereotype. It was a generalization of mine. Before your little rant, I was unaware of the stigma of Desi men….and I happen to have a great deal of male friends.

    On an up side, I never look at debate on an issue as a bad thing. Debate is good. Helps us learn and realize things.

    xoxo, forgive me.

  23. armchair psychology might feel good but its not very accurate.

    If you’re a desi man, you might either be aware of the stereotypes and the history behind them, or you just experience them and don’t really know why they occur. But the desexualization of men of color, particularly asian men, has a long history.

    You still don’t apologize in that you refuse to see what you said as a stereotype. So thats not really an apology, which is why I’ll keep pointing it out.

    You’re more than welcome to keep saying whatever you want, or say nothing at all. But that does not mean I won’t do my bit to refute what are pretty standard-issue sterotypes about desi men.

    that fact you see them as generalizations and not stereotypes could only mean they are ingrained enough that you don’t notice them.

    Anyway, its never been as issue to me where you are personally the bad person, but given my understanding of the situation, I’m fairly calmly (for the most part) going to continue to insist that the views you espoused are stereotypical, dehumanizing, and have a long and unoriginal history of negatively tarring our community

    Really thats what its about to me, which is why I feel like its a good thing to keep responding to you. I don’t think I’ve been personally nasty to you, I’m just not letting those comments go, and I pretty much don’t think I should. But its nothing personal against you

  25. i swear to god you guys are actually dating and are just roleplaying here or something. this exchange is just so surreal at this point.

  26. Elaine: Are you calling me a liar?

    Jerry: I’m calling you one if you are one, are you a liar?

    Elaine: Are you?

    Jerry: Get your finger out of my face.

    Elaine: You get yours out, I was here first!

    Jerry: I don’t care.

    Elaine: Get it out!

    Kramer walks in just as this argument begins to turn into a slap fight, and gets in the middle.

    Kramer: Hey hey, alright, hey hey, stop it! Come on, break it up! What’s the matter with you? Now don’t you two see that you’re in love with each other? I mean, why can’t you face that already? You’re running around out there looking for something that’s not even there, when everything that you dream of is right here, right here in front of you. Now why can’t you admit that?

  27. ” But the desexualization of men of color, particularly asian men, has a long history”. I am not sure about that. Black Male sexuality has never been desexualized in America. If anything black males have been treated as oversexualized beings. I do not believe that desi men have been desexualized either. Mocked and caricatured yes, but not desexualized. The only group that I am aware of which has been completely desexualized are the Asians ( East Asians to be precise)

  28. i loved seinfeld too

    Al….I agree in a sense. one could also say the Orientalist (as in Said) view of brown men was as over-sexed rather than under-sexed, butblack men at times were desexalized as well……castration and lynching for relationships with whites should ring a bell

    its not all doom and gloom but this stuff is out there

    lates

  29. I am sorry, but I’m not going to apologize for what I wrote because you are pissed because it is a typical stereotype. I was not aware that it even WAS a stereotype–not before now! And I’m sorry, but I that is how I (ME) feel about my particular situation at hand.

    So, I’m telling you, that it may be a stereotype from your point of view, but it’s pure REALITY in my view.

    So, I’m sorry that you didn’t like what I wrote, I’m sorry if it offended you and fed into some stereotype that you are obviously bitter about, but have a big hot cup of GET OVER IT.

  30. And you keep mentioning that it’s been a stereotype for 100 years. You haven’t been around for 100 years, and neither have I. I care what is going on right now with my situation. I’m not going to the internet and digging stuff up. Why don’t you stop it, too?

    And how did african american men get in the mix?! The only thing I’m aware of (and have ever been aware of) is something about east asian men. And I’m saying that it’s simply not true. To me, I think they are awesome, passionate and creative when it comes to love.

    If we want to dig up crap that depict people in a negative light, we could dig up desi men’s views of women. But you know what? I don’t feel like it because I don’t have the energy.

    So, you can argue all you want with yourself, Raju.

    Have fun!

  31. dont u hate it how elder’s bug u about cooking indian food and then compare you to your friends or their friends children! i hate that so much! or how they think ur bad just for going and hanging out with ur friends..like all your supposed to do 24.7 is study like a maniac!

  34. its called reading. and thinking about how we got here.

    your views are gross generalizations. they are stereotypes and this other drama stuff you’re doing is dumb. what the hec made you think I even care enough about it to make it personal with you?

    step outside of yourself for a sec, oh and take responsbility for when you say something out of line

  35. Neha, that really stinks. There is definitely more to life than studying. Don’t parents know that when you are made to do something, you burn out? And that you’ll do anything just to not do what they actually want you to do?

    You are studying, so I’m assuming you are in high school or college… Let me tell you about these nerdy guys who used to calculate their grade point average in class all of the time. I would sit there and watch this guy calculate every test or quiz that he got back in class. He would sit there and rub it in that he broke the curve or that he was going to so and so college. Who really cared at the time? Not me. I had a normal life. I didn’t have the hottest grades, but I did what I had to do to get by–which was pretty easy in high school. I went out, hung out with friends and partied occasionally. I had a great time. Grade point average guy did not. He didn’t have a life outside of studying and rubbing it in everyone’s face. So, we graduated went on our way–and a year later, I heard that he bombed out of college! He partied for the first time in his life, drank, got into drugs, and eventually dropped out and became a Walmart employee.

    Sometimes, when parents are so strict that they don’t let their children have lives, it doesn’t always go so favorably. Parents have to realize this. My boyfriend was pressured so much and was expected to be a doctor. But midway through college, he burnt out completely–became withdrawn, stopped going to class, drank 24/7. He just stopped caring about a lot of things and it’s because he was pushed too hard.

    Maybe you should print this out for them to read.

    You attract more bees with honey, not vinegar…..

  38. Well, since coco has apparently decided to take the high road, genderqueer(?) troublemaker that I am, I’ll take her place.

    Raju, I understand that what I said was stupid, and I tried to acknowledge that. I feel attacked now though, and that’s why I’m getting defensive. I’m sorry for what you’ve had to go through, and in time, I’ll learn more about long-standing Asian American and desi history and stereotypes. I was speaking a little tactlessly from my own experience. I won’t apologize for speaking from my own experience; but I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I wish all the men on the list would take as much responsibility as I am right now when they speak about women the same way that I was speaking about men.

    By the way, Juhi-et says she wants you to write more poetry. She really enjoyed that.

  40. Dear Suarav,

    I try to take responsbility for how I speak about indian women.

    Initially I thought I was talking in a forum where people want to discuss these issues. If this is a ha ha hee hee forum, thats clearly not what I was doing.

    Speaking from your experience is fine, but you tell me, where are the fora where desi men can actually speak to these issues?

    I’ve never said there aren’t myraid issues around how desi women are discrminated against, and look, if I had put desi women on blast for some ig’nant ish, you think I’d expect people to be like, oh well, its your experience, ho-hum we’ll all move on?

    While in my old age I’ve personally gotten past these issues, I care about social justice, and I care about how younger desi men are going to be treated as a sociological trend, and generally I care about how f-ed up statements get thrown around.

    I have a time and half ignoring comments against African american, Latino, immigrant communities, because thats just wrong (I’ll leave out my reaction to comments about women but I do also object to those kinds of comments as well).

    You know what I don’t think I was being harsh expect in the beginning, I was and am just holding that statement and the person who made it to scrutiny. I understand its her experience, but its a generalization and its laden with stereotypes that HAVE been around for quite a long time. I don’t think its an accident that the statement itself had so many memes (thought-processes) that coincied with that general stereotype of the desexualized man of color.

    PS my friend, who is not desi but knows enough about them says….”well she does have a point about the mommy problem”

  41. If we as desi men don’t find mature outlets to discuss how things like this make us/have made us feel, it will come out in much less mature ways, which I am sure people here can attest to seeing.

    Its hurtful to not be taken as in solidarity with desi women who want to break out of legit bad issues in our community.

    Dating us is not really the only solution. Seeing us and treating us as potential allies might be.

    You can’t be an ally when you’re getting blasted

  42. for Juhi-et and Coco, by Anne Sexton

    A woman who writes feels too much, those trances and portents! As if cycles and children and islands weren’t enough; as if mourners and gossips and vegetables were never enough. She thinks she can warn the stars. A writer is essentially a spy. Dear love, I am that girl.

    A man who writes knows too much, such spells and fetiches! As if erections and congresses and products weren’t enough; as if machines and galleons and wars were never enough. With used furniture he makes a tree. A writer is essentially a crook. Dear love, you are that man.

    Never loving ourselves, hating even our shoes and our hats, we love each other, precious, precious. Our hands are light blue and gentle. Our eyes are full of terrible confessions. But when we marry, the children leave in disgust. There is too much food and no one left over to eat up all the weird abundance.

  43. Raju,

    Based on the comments I’ve seen you post before, you seem like a person with a lot of integrity. I wasn’t criticizing you or refuting any of your claims, because I think they’re true. My only point is that the person you were arguing with is clearly not going to hear them and that it might be time to let it go for that reason alone 🙂 I know it’s no fun to be damned for being a man–and doubly so when you’re not allowed to defend yourself, even when you spend your time trying to be a good guy.

  44. Cool you know I don’t mean to make this into a profession I just was writing stuff that I think makes sense