Bad Indian Girl: Just how I like ’em

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Tipster Dhrumil directs our attention to a new and entertaining little website: Bad Indian Girl.com

Welcome to BadIndianGirl.com. This is a one stop destination where Indian women who are mislabeled by their overbearing relatives can come together and vent. We at B.I.G. believe that there are many stereotypes within the Westernized Indian Community and such stereotypes should be approached in a humorous way. Some may feel that this site is desecrating Indian value systems that have been carefully brought upon us by our parents. Some may feel this site is poking fun at elderly Indian folks and disrespecting the Indian culture. And some may even feel that they can directly relate to the profiles of Raju, Payal, Pervert Uncle and the Nosy Auntie. It is not our job to protect people’s emotions that may be offended by the material. Our job is to take a funny approach to some frustrating issues prevalent in the general Indian Community. Of course there is no such thing as a “Bad Indian Girl” or even a “Good Indian Girl”. These are labels that are brought forth by community members who are quick to judge an individual based on her lifestyle. This site is designed to make you laugh. If it does anything other than that you are free to express your opinion on our forum or send us an email. In any case, please enjoy this site for what it is and remember a BadIndianGirl is as fictitious as any other character on this site.

Among the difficult issues covered on this site are:
-How to tell off your nosy auntie

-Top 10 signs that your family has secretly posted your profile on an Indian Matrimonial site

-How to handle the Pervert Indian Uncle of the Indian Community

The one that I am looking forward to is:
-How to prevent yourself from having Auntie Butt and Sari Rolls (coming soon)

144 thoughts on “Bad Indian Girl: Just how I like ’em”

  1. Dear Pompous assholes (guys) of Sepia Mutiny,

    We have been through it all in the dating world, especially dating/experiencing Desi Women.

    I’d like to share these stories and am asking you to contribute a short story about your “Indian woman/women dating experiences. It can be an anecdote or a saga, just something that sticks out in your mind.

    You can tell us about “dealing with the fact that she has more facial hair then you do”, “handling daddy’s little princess syndrome”, “she expects you to marry her after the first date”, “she cares more about the size of your wallet than the size of your heart” etc…

    Stories should be no more than two lines long (indian men can’t write). I want to publish an anthology, but I am too lazy. I have gotten absolutely zero encouragement from other friends and colleagues, this website to put this together.

    The stories should be comical, poignant, idiotic or just plain interesting. Please pass on the information to your friends (if you have any!).

    While I am utterly undetermined to tell our stories…think of it as revenge…you vent about all the ridiculous, comical, hairy things you have experienced “Dating Indian Women.”

    If you have an idea and would like to talk about it with me, then you probably have issues. Please call a shrink. Stories cannot be published anonymously.

    I will let you do all the work, but I want to steal your ideas. Let’s get this book published. I plan to take it to my buddy who has connections with all the major publishers and I am confident that this book will be a huge seller. And that I will become filty rich and have drunken monkey style sexual orgies, at my parent’s motel, with a shitload of lewd gold digging bitches.

    Excuse the bluntness and stupidity of my post, but…

    Why do desi men and women feel the need to berate each other ? Why do the abcds mock the fobs and vice versa ?

    Are all desis (perhaps all people ?) just insecure little idiots who feel the need to establish the superiority of our own beliefs and actions by scoffing at those of our peers ?

  2. dear epoch,

    while i am beyond touched that you protected my delicate, fallopian-tube-centric sensibilities by only referring to the “guys” of SM as “pompous assholes”, i am afraid i must decline such gentlemanly courtesy so that i may earnestly correct you;

    if anyone is a pompous asshole here, it’s me. those mutineers with y-chromosomes who have to put up with me on this blog are angels.

    sincerely,

    A N N A 😉

    p.s. yeah, i know, you were being flip. in the second part of your comment, you were also being appropriately scornful– i’m with you 100%. there’s bad everywhere, within every gender and every race. it’s there to make us so grateful for the good.

  3. Raju totally agree. Pls stop the hate. its too much, its hard enough being desi but to be attacked for who you are by people who are also of the same community? it actually really does suck.

    and I might be wrong but I don’t think desi men do it with the same force as desi women. Ok we’re idiots and we suck (we = desi men). But still, it hurts. Does not a desi man bleed when pricked? See, some of us kinda know a little shakespeare

  4. raju, raju, wherefore art thou raju? deny thy father and refuse thy name, and i’ll no longer be a capulet…or a hater. 🙂

  7. Juhi-et,

    I take thee at thy word, Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized, Henceforth I never will be Raju

    (yes it was googled)

  8. did any of y’all see the hinglish version of 12th night with what’s-her-face from bend it like beckham? real shakespeare! real hindi! amazing.

    -s

  10. From Holy Auntie Butt to Shakespeare: the first year of Sepia Mutiny.

    (Succinct yet elliptical, this is the title of your first publication)

  11. Desi women are doing a lot of player hating these days! Its really bad and harmful and sad.

  12. This sounds like a Blur song:

    “Indian Boys who hate on Indian Girls who hate on Indian Boys.”

  13. But Raju, ‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a desi man. What’s a desi man? it is nor hand, nor foot, Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part Belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What’s in a name? that which we call a rose By any other word would smell as sweet; So Raju would, were he not Raju call’d, Retain that dear perfection which he owes Without that title. O Raju, doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee Take all myself.

    Your Juhi-et (Shakespearean actress wannabe)

  15. Raju means,

    My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun; Coral is far more red than her lips’ red; If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun; If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

    I have seen roses damask’d, red and white, But no such roses see I in her cheeks; And in some perfumes is there more delight Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

    I love to hear her speak, yet well I know That music hath a far more pleasing sound; I grant I never saw a goddess go; My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.

  16. Raju apologizes to Juhi for being an ass and not writing that in the first place

  18. Raju, thou hath won my heart, but alas, thou droppeth the ball.
    And along came Manish, how silver-sweet sound my Cyrano lover’s tongue by night, Like softest music to attending ears!

    And Raju, and in cyberspace, where often you and I Upon faint primrose-beds were wont to lie, Emptying our bosoms of their counsel sweet, There my Cyrano and myself shall meet; And thence from Sepia Mutiny shall turn away our eyes, To seek new friends and stranger companies. Farewell, sweet playfellow: pray thou for us; And good luck grant thee thy Raju! Keep word, Manish: we must starve our sight From lovers’ food till morrow deep midnight.

    Your Juhi-et and Roxanne

  20. And if thou must, fair..I mean wheatish Abhi, I will proclaim that Death lies on our dear Abhi like an untimely frost upon the sweetest flower of all the field….

  21. Dear Juhi/Roxanne,

    i totally feel what you are saying, you and Manish were meant for each other, he might not be pretty to other people but he loves you, and you and he are vibing with the poetry, its really great to see.

    the time i spent with you was wonderful. you opened my eyes again to the beauty of poetry, the magic of words well-chosen

    in a way i’m glad its ended up like this because, in all honesty you probably know way more about poetry than me

    Raju

  23. If I have to listen to any more of this then I may end up opting for the poison.

    And, farewell, friends; Thus Abhishek ends: Adieu, adieu, adieu.

    … [Manish] might not be pretty to other people…

    Ah no! young blade! That was a trifle short! You might have said at least a hundred things By varying the tone. . .like this, suppose,. . . Aggressive: ‘Sir, if I had such a nose I’d amputate it!’ Friendly: ‘When you sup It must annoy you, dipping in your cup; You need a drinking-bowl of special shape!’ Gracious: ‘You love the little birds, I think? I see you’ve managed with a fond research To find their tiny claws a roomy perch!’ Truculent: ‘When you smoke your pipe. . .suppose That the tobacco-smoke spouts from your nose– Do not the neighbors, as the fumes rise higher, Cry terror-struck: “The chimney is afire”?’

    Raju, thou hath won my heart, but alas, thou droppeth the ball.

    If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber’d here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend: if you pardon, we will mend… Else the blogger a liar call; So, good night unto you all.

  25. Why do I get the distinct feeling you two pallys are jerking-off as you write this…

  26. Who cares what they’re doing, it’s their site (however, it would be nice to see you Anglophiles break into some Bengali or Urdu, you know? 😉

  27. Raju, you’re very funny 🙂

    …Count me in as against this “Dating an Indian Man”…book. I suspect most of the “problems” submitted are to be found with any man. Why construct this idea that Desi men are specially problematic? Especially as the idea is being constructed in front of an audience of other ethnicities. Such a book justs helps them to construct more stereotypes about Desis.

    And good for whoever pointed out the massive intra-Desi labeling. ABCD/FOB, man/woman, North/South, whatever…it’s like everyone wants to be the person who has a handle on the “real” Desi identity. Fact is that all of these experiences are legitimate. Learn or don’t learn, but why this need to invalidate?

  28. Indian men suck….at everything. First of all, you have to tell them how to be…as in, how to treat a lady. Second of all, the mommy syndrome is enough to make me yack. Cut the cord, already…what the hell kind of power does mommy hold over? Put the noony away already. They have absolutely no game, they have no idea how to kiss, nor do they know anything about PASSION….. Dating an indian guy is like dating a fresh 13 year old. And don’t let mommy find out or you’ll be grounded! She’ll make you feel tremendous guilt…

    Make me PUKE….messed up behavior. Men just have no respect for women. I’m so glad that women of today are making $$. Because we don’t have to be treated like dogs anymore.

    Rock on grrrls. Love your site. xoxo.

  29. Rock on grrrls. Love your site. xoxo.

    first of all, the very men you disparage are behind this site– by a six:one ratio. i’m the only grrrl here.

    (you didn’t say “some” indian men suck, so i can only infer that you meant “all”. you also didn’t give us a courtesy-qualify of, “yes, there are probably a few good guys…” either.)

    i’m not trying to be cruel, but it sounds like you are:

    1) new to this site. 2) rather emotionally scarred.

    the first contention rests on the fact that we’ve already done the “indian boys suck my left one” rant a while ago. my second contention is offered after a cursory reading of your comment.

    a nanosecond after doing so, i wanted to flame you for idiocy and inaccuracy, but i silenced my reptile brain. it is, after all, sunday. it’s also close to lent.

    so, i offer you a hug and an invitation to do whatever it takes with us to feel better, with one caveat– that you don’t diminish others (and therefore yourself) whilst doing it.

    i’m sorry your experiences have made you so salty-sour. i must say, with all the love, affection and patience of an older sister: your categorical denigration of an entire group is wrong.

    :+:

    i’m starting to weary of this “eeew, boys suck” trend, especially since it will only encourage our dearest “punjabi boy” to resubmit his idea for a website that takes down indian girls who think their shit doesn’t stink, a peg… 😉

  30. Sorry, I came across the site and only read down to the “indian men suck my left one” and just decided to post. Sure, I’m not happy with the “sample” of desis that I’ve encountered and I should be able to write so if someone else is busting as well, right? Sorry…just was stating my $.02 too…

  32. In a way I feel like responding to things like cococolored’s comment is wrong in that I might be trying to stifle her expression, but on the other hand, you’re not really doing anything but lashing out in massive generalities.

    When you say “all desi men can’t kiss” you’re talking about all of us. We live in a culture in which we’re an extreme minority of the people here. We live in a culture in which a person seeing us for the first time has a whole laundry list of stereotypes to employ towards us, most of which aren’t positive.

    For one thing, who is out there telling people that some desi men CAN kiss. Not all desi men are 40 and jerks. Some really are 13 and new to dating. Some are 20 and aren’t actually that jerky. Feeling like you have the ability to express affection and intimacy is an important part of being a human. Why the hell would desi men really be unable to do this as a general group? Are you a racist? Do you feel “race” endows a person with certain characteristics?

    If you “sampled” desis like food, eat some other food for god’s sake! I KNOW, you’ll get pressure from the rents/aunties, but you know what, there’s desi men who would SUPPORT you in choosing other people to partner with.

    Its too prevelent and its too fierce. Its not NICE.

    Just stop, really. Cos I have not tried to kiss you and I think I’m actually an affection person who tries at least to be loving and caring, and I’m often on the look-out to understand world-views in which women and men are treated as equals.

    desi men have the right to be considered as individuals like anyone and we’re not some monolithic group

  33. umm……..a great collection of people. All the weirdos in one place. Throughly enjoying it!! keep it going.

    Now here is my 2 paise. Cococoloured…..here is the presciption for you.

    • contact MJackson, kiss him..or do what it takes and find out what it takes for a cococoloured to automagically change to pastywhitecolored.

    and here is my 2cents and then a dollar

    • since almost all of the girls here bitching about desi men, are talking about the oh-so-earth-shattering-sex that desi men can’t give (directly or indirectly), try other men left right and center till you turn 40. and then if it does not work out, there is always the option of you becoming the lady(?) version of leery indian uncle. You know that is the only version lacking in present desi scenario (looks like all the stupid brown people seem to respect their women, atleast the older ones). Then you can take credit for f**king up the culture, where the morons seem to have been teaching from thusands of years to respect their women (its another thing that about half of them don’t in practice).

    To all the BIGs, I say, cut the fkin curry connection already!!! cut the fkin curry connection cut the fkin curry connection cut the fkin curry connection, PLEEEEAAASSE

    No….my name really is RAJU.

  34. Oh….It’s so like “desi man” of me, how did I forget to mention our lovery BIGs with golden indian hearts, gurrls (read laaadies like few among the people posted here) you are the reason why I respect ya’all. And to BIG’s who are confused ( DO NOT read as ABCD’s) do what you gotta do, but don’t bash poor little me..OK?

    Now the mean little tramps….bring it on 🙂 I need to justify why I wud rather prefer to be gay (which i am not, fortunately for all the BIG with good hearts) than to be around you.

    I think some of’em here and the BIG site owner need a realty check!! Is it bcos you are so ugly from inside that it shows on your face, that you hookup with all these failures(and I still consider you are lucky).

  35. “We live in a culture in which a person seeing us for the first time has a whole laundry list of stereotypes to employ towards us, most of which aren’t positive”. Not anymore than what other people face.

  36. “We live in a culture in which we’re an extreme minority of the people here. We live in a culture in which a person seeing us for the first time has a whole laundry list of stereotypes to employ towards us, most of which aren’t positive.”

    Exactly, (serious) Raju. Why make this situation worse by constructing more bad stereotypes ourselves? And it is a choice to construct such stereotypes.

    Al Mujahid, in US society we (or Desi men, if you like) face more stereotypes than the majority white people.

  38. What I meant was the stereotyoes faced by other minorities. I think that in the world of stereotypes, the Desi Men have it better than the East Asian men. I think the stereotypes are directly proportionate to how white the minority looks and the percentage of FOB’s in that community. FOB’s of any minority sadly have it the worst.

  39. Yes, dating problems can be found with any men, but there are an UNNECESSARY ABUNDANCE of problems that one has to deal with when dating an indian man. These problems consist of: at times not really respecting women as a whole, equal entity with a brain (big, big problem), dealing with overbearing parents, and a lack of self esteem–I guess due to the fact that sadly, yes, you are the minority. And on that subject: I do NOT want to hear the woes about being a minority, as I am one, too. Cry me a river. Nobody is forcing you to be here…. In fact, I’m sure that if some Americans wanted to live in India (don’t know anybody that would) there would be a problem there as well…. I wouldn’t go to India and feel sorry for myself because I was the minority, though. I would know that I put myself in that situation and deal with it better than saying “poor me”. Peace out.

  40. Cococolored, You said “and a lack of self esteem”……I dont believe Desi Men suffer from a lack of self esteem as a group anymore than other men.

  42. Raju has summoned my prose Though I may make some foes I must offer my words to end this strife And pray that harmony shall become rife

    Captain of our mutineers, Juhi-et is here at hand; And the youth, mistook by me, Pleading for a lover’s fee. Shall we their fond pageant see? Bhagwan, what fools these mortals be!

    (Accolades to Manish who continueth to make my heart weak by quoting the astute words of my partner-in-prose, Puck)

    An admirer of Puck and Manish

  44. Ah, but if it be legalese that rings like music to Abhi’s ears… I can happily oblige with “wheretofores” and choruses of “may it please the court.” Because, Abhi, in our multiple identities… a moonlighting Juhi-et does not preclude a 9-to-5 Juliette Totenberg. It just heightens the burden of proof.

    Respectifully submitted, Nina’s better half.

  45. Cococolored,

    I don’t know what your dating experiences have been so I’m not going to try to delegitimize them (or call you a dyke like some other idiots on this site), or deny that a lot of desi men (myself included) have a lot of shit to work through.

    The only criticism I have is that your anger might be keeping things from moving forward. Everybody has shit that they need to deal with and work through over the course of life (admittedly, some of us more than others).

    I’m not saying you have to give up what sounds like well-earned bile that’s pretty common among women in minorities in the US–take a look at the pages on black women dealing with Black men in End of Blackness by Debra Dickerson–different subculture, same theme.

    But…I don’t know…maybe there will be a little room in your heart at some point for some compassion towards all those exs that fucked you over? Or at least the other desi men who haven’t? In the immortal words of Tribe: “The thing that men and women need to do is stick together; Progressions can’t be made if we’re separate forever.”

  46. Saurav, thank you for admitting and being honest that some desi men have some different things to tackle. Any info on how to deal when you are trying to help that person pull through their problems? I’ve been supportive, loving, open to new things, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I feel really stupid for what I posted–but as I mentioned, I only read halfway down when everyone was busting on men, and wanted to say my piece as well. I love boys, too….for whoever it was that said I needed to watch the L show. Kiss my feet!

  47. Cococolored, no worries and thanks. To be fair to the other desi men in this conversation, I’m somewhat removed from the particulars of this (sigh…) ongoing discussion, so it’s easier for me to be a little less threatened.

    I don’t think there’s any generalized advice you can give someone on how to help other folks get over their shit. Sometimes it’s helped me to have emotional support; sometime’s it’s helped to have people who are honest with me in a tactful way when I’m being sheisty; sometime’s it’s helped to have people that give me space; sometime’s it’s helped to have people that understand me better than i do myself and cajole me into doing things i don’t feel like (I hate this though). It’s specific to me though–I mean, desi boys have had to deal with so much shit from so many different places (just like desi women), that what the key things to focus on are going to be different. And to be honest, some people don’t want to work on their shit, and it’s not productive for your time or energy to try, as sad as that is.

    So, maybe, listening, trying to figure out what’s going on, and trying to figure out what the appropriate response should be (support, confrontation, cutting your losses and bailing, whatever). Whatever you give is more than nothing.

    Also, if you’re angry, you’re angry and that’s totally legitimate. It’s just that it can get you into shit when you express it publicly without processing it first or at least being tactful about it…personal experience speaking here:)

  48. By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes . . .

    Come, thick night, And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell, That my keen knife see not the wound it makes in these blabbering three (Manish, Raju, Juhiet), Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark, To cry, ‘Hold, hold!’ As I find my mark.

    🙂

  49. O fiend, you stabbed Polonius I judge that most erroneus Prima facia, it’s felonious So draft a writ of habeas And call out all yo’ amicus For a throwdown unharmonious.