Slate Magazine carries what I am sure will one day be seen as THE seminal article, on the comparison between Rappers and Bloggers. Oh yes my friends, it turns out we are cut of the same mold:

P. Diddy gargles Cristal as his yacht sails from San Tropez to Ibiza. Atrios stares at his computer screen and ponders the effect of “increased central bank diversification out of dollar holdings.” Nelly takes in the NBA All-Star Game from the first row while gabbing on a cell phone made out of a giant shoe. InstaPundit digests the latest developments in the Dartmouth board of trustees race and takes note of an update to C-SPAN’s early morning schedule. What, do I need to draw you a Venn diagram? Rappers and bloggers they’re the same!

Those of you obsessed with external appearances may think I’m kidding. What, you ask, could those champagne-swilling, “bitch”-shouting rappers have in common with those Jolt-pounding, “read the whole thing”-writing bloggers?

For starters, both groups share a love of loose-fitting, pajama-style apparel. Still not satisfied? Bloggers and rappers are equally obsessed with social networking. Every rapper rolls with his entourage; every blogger rolls with his blog roll. Women can’t win an audience in either profession without raunching it up like Lil’ Kim or Wonkette.

Oooooh. I think despite the fact that it is only February, this could be the article of the year!

Great quotes are sprinkled throughout this article. Here is a sampler of the most egregious:

Essentially, blogging is sampling plus a new riff. Political bloggers take a story in the news, rip out a few chunks, and type out a few comments. Rap songs use the same recipe: Dig through a crate of records, slice out a high hat and a bass line, and lay a new vocal track on top. Of course, the molecular structure of dead-tree journalism and classic rock is filthy with other people’s research and other people’s chord progressions. But in newspaper writing and rock music, the end goal is the appearance of originality, to make the product look seamless by hiding your many small thefts. For rappers and bloggers, each theft is worth celebrating, another loose item to slap onto the collage.

Rap music and blogging are populist, low-cost-of-entry communication forms that reward self-obsessed types who love writing in first person. Maybe that’s why both won so many converts so quickly. If you want to become MC I’m Good at Rapping, all you have to do is rustle up a microphone and a sampler. If you want to blog as AngryVeganCatholicGOPMom, bring a computer, an Internet connection, a working knowledge of Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V, and a whole lot of spare time.

I resent that. I am not self-obsessed. I am going to write about how offended I am on my own blog. Have you guys visited my own blog lately?

But rappers’ and bloggers’ self-importance also has something to do with the supremely annoying righteousness that rides along with those who believe they’re overturned the archaic forms of expression favored by The Man that is, whitey and/or the mainstream media. Ninety percent of rap lyrics are self-congratulatory rhymes about how great the rapper is at rapping, the towering difficulties of succeeding in the rap game, or the lameness of wanksta rivals. Blogging is a circle jerk that never stops circling: links to posts by other bloggers, following links to newspaper stories about bloggers, following wonderment at the corruptions and complacency of old-fashioned, credentialed journalism.

Sure, there are a few differences between the blogosphere and the blingosphere. Although bloggers have a certain buzz about them these days, they’ll never be cool the way rappers are cool. The blogger lifestyle is dangerous-staying up all night and eating Cheetos will eventually kill you-but not sexy dangerous. Rappers can afford to be more conspicuous with their triumphalism because selling millions of records is more financially rewarding than getting millions of hits. But if that blog ad gravy train ever comes in, I guarantee you that Josh Marshall will pick up his mail in a gold-plated tank and Nick Denton will put a hit on any linkmonger who looks at him cross-eyed.

That right there was the silver bullet in the article. I am dangerous, but not “SEXY” dangerous? A quick glance at the desi blogosphere proves this article correct with an example of the synergy between these two forms of art. Check out Reihan Salam’s blog:

This next one is an autobiographical rap about my day thus far:
“Went to Veselka
for blintzes,”
He winces,
“This is sweeter than I expected,”
But I did not reject it
Had some pineapple,
Dipple-dapple
It cleansed my palette…