Monthly Archives: December 2004

The Guru’s of Comedy–Coming to a Town Near You

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Piyush Dinker Pandya, the writer/director of the genre creating film American Desi is bringing the South Asian answer to the Kings/Queens of Comedy, yes, it is The Gurus of Comedy Tour. The first-ever national tour of South Asian standup comedy, kicks off in Los Angeles this Thursday, December 9, with Russell Peters (Comedy Central), Paul Varghese (NBC’s Last Comic Standing), Anand Chulani (American Chai), and host Aladdin (BET, American Desi).

The five-city tour moves on to San Jose on December 10, San Francisco on December 11, New York City on December 15, and closes in Boston on December 16. Other comedians on The Gurus of Comedy Tour include Pooth the Curry Comic, Vidur Kapur, Tony Sparks, and Mo-D. Complete comic lineups for each show are available here.

Justice Department distributes tutorials on head coverings

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The U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) recently released a pair of posters aimed at assisting authorities with properly identifying and searching Muslims and Sikhs.

The posters come from the DOJ’s Initiative to Combat Post-9/11 Discriminatory Backlash, and offer detailed explanations of each religion’s different head coverings. The posters also include seemingly obvious instructions such as “show respect,” and “searches should be done by members of the same sex.” (Can one request searches from the opposite sex, or does that cost extra?)

For the most part, the photos on the Sikh poster are effective in demonstrating a pagri, patka and chunni. But on the Muslim poster, one of the images is sure to generate confusion in the field (photo on the right). We can only pray that former Attorney General John Ashcroft doesn’t completely lose it when graduation ceremonies commence in May.

Common Muslim American Head Coverings (PDF, 1.5 MB)
Common Sikh American Head Coverings (PDF, 1 MB)

My good friend Super Jagjit was so impressed by the posters that he created one for the DOJ to offer South Asian shopkeepers in rural areas:

Common Redneck Head Coverings (PDF, 255 KB)

Hindustan Times: U.S. Justice Department issues poster on Sikhism

Continue reading →

I love watching movies on tiny screens. Not.

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Anna_looks_like_my_stepmom

So my favourite MC leaves me a message about this article from ABC News…apparently an Indian cell phone company is going to broadcast a new Bollywood phil-im in its entirety, for free. On their customer’s mobiles. (Well, the customers who dished $270 for a phone that can stream video…)

“Rok Sako To Rok Lo,” or “Stop, If You Can,” will be available to Bharti Tele-Ventures customers in 11 Indian cities, provided their phones have the supporting technology, said Atul Bindal, a director at India’s second-largest cellular service provider.

They are boldly and potentially annoyingly going where no company has gone before:

Bharti Tele-Ventures Ltd. will be “the first cellular service in the world to premiere a full-length movie on mobile phones,” Bindal said. “I am certain that this service will add a whole new dimension to the concept of mobile-based entertainment.”

“Rok Sako To Rok Lo” stars Sunny Deol (pictured)…and no one else, meaning the film’s other actors aren’t well-known, exciting or important. 😉 Directed by Arindam Chaudhary, the teen flick will debut on cell phones Thursday, and be released to regular old theaters Friday.

Don’t everybody try and drain your cell phone batteries at once:

A maximum of 200 people will be able to connect and watch the movie simultaneously, and the movie cannot be copied or replayed.

If this novel experiment in using mobile phones for something other than, oh, talking, is successful, Bharti Tele-Ventures Ltd. may air other phil-ims, for a phee. 😉

The queen would like to honor you, before you get deported

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invite203.jpg And they say asians are inscrutible. Consider what’s happening to Farhat Khan: she’s an “advice worker” in Manchester, and has been invited to meet the Queen because of her contributions to “national life”. This comes just one day after she was told that her asylum application was turned down, and that she was about to be deported back to Pakistan, which she left because she and her children were at risk for domestic violence. Wha? Well, I suppose this is a chance to bring the issue to the very top (say, Rani, could you mention this to Tony Blair? Thanks. And oh, please pass the crumpets. And one more of those delicious little tea sandwiches)

Better living through Technology

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…actually, scratch the “better”…I’m just happy about the living part. We exist in amazing times, and for that I am constantly grateful and humbled. Why am I blathering all new-agey? I’m just pondering the healing powers of the Internet, that’s all.

Nepalese_miracle

Few thought this little boy would survive after he was bitten by a snake in Nepal.
His parents consulted a Shaman who bound the boy’s leg so tightly with a tourniquet it went gangrenous.
When doctors eventually saw him they were at a loss to know how to save him. The bandage had been on for 25 days and his leg was hanging off.
Everyone was resigned to him dying.

Everyone except Lord and Lady Swinfen. The peer and his wife run a phenomenal charity that “virtually” saved the child’s life. Continue reading →

How do you spell first place? B-R-O-W-N

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South Asian youngsters continue to nerd their way to fame and fortune:

Gayathri_the_good_speller

A 13-year-old girl has beaten 100,000 hopefuls to become the best young speller in the UK.
Gayathri Kumar, from Lancashire, correctly spelt words including troglodyte and disequilibrium to win the BBC’s Hard Spell competition.

Whom did Gayathri defeat? Wait for it…

The final, shown on BBC One on Sunday night, saw Gayathri go head-to-head with the other finalist, Nisha Thomas.

We have to do something about this brown-on-brown violence. I kid. So how did Gayathri best Nisha?

Gayathri, from Ormskirk, took the title when she correctly spelt Chihuahua and Nisha stumbled over dachshund.

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"Yo Mama"

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What rhymes with Osama? It’s good to see these racist punks get served…or were they? From the Newsobserver.com:

Three men found guilty in District Court of ethnic intimidation for assaulting an Indian Sikh reached a plea agreement on less serious charges when they appealed their conviction.

In a plea agreement in Orange County Superior Court, the men pleaded guilty Monday to assault inflicting serious injury and simple assault, but not to ethnic intimidation.

One man will go to prison for 150 days for the assaults and for several probation violations. The other two will each spend 14 days in jail.

The case stemmed from an incident in March on West Franklin Street when defendant Kenneth Antwaine Perry, 20, walked past UNC student G. Bindra and called him “Osama.”

At the time, Bindra, a Sikh who has brown skin and a beard, was wearing his hair wrapped in a scarf. He responded by saying, “Your mama.”

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Singh caps stellar year with tour’s top honor

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Vijay Singh won his first PGA Tour Player of the Year award on Monday, icing a season that saw the 41-year-old golfer capture nine titles and a record-breaking $10.9 million in prize money.

The Fijian national ends Tiger Woods’ five-year reign over the title, and is the first non-American to win the award in nearly a decade. Singh came ever-so-close to winning it last year, and felt he was more deserving of the honor, which is voted on by fellow tour players.

He rededicated himself to surpassing Woods atop the world rankings, and accomplished the goal in roughly half the expected time. The new focus supplemented a near-legendary work ethic and training regimen that once included hitting 1,000 balls a day.

So will winning the award invite complacency? Not a chance.

Singh told the Associated Press that he already has started a new workout program, “to take it a little higher.”

AP/Yahoo!: Singh wins PGA Tour Player of the Year award
Sepia Mutiny: Asians remain dominant in golf

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Admit it, you totally care about his luw life

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Raj_is_mine_bitch

I think we need a new category called “Raj-watch”. 😉

Mutineer Vinod selected a few words from my favourite tabloid, the New York Post, for an SM blurb about the busy Mr. Bhakta a month ago. I’ll save you the trouble of clicking about by re-pasting the aforementioned Page Six dirt here:

RECENTLY fired “Apprentice” Raj Bhakta might be better suited for a role on “The Player.” The would-be lothario distinguished himself last week by hitting on Donald Trump’s assistant, Robin Himmel, while he was waiting for the elevator to take him from the building after his dismissal.
However, Himmel may be the only one Bhakta struck out with, as three of his fellow castmates have fallen prey to his charms, a source shared, including Stacy Rotner and Jennifer Crisafulli, who have “at least made out” with Bhakta.

Aha! (and with that, may “Take on Me” waft through your head ALL DAY 😉 The very next day, Page Six cleared up any ambiguity about striking:

November 11, 2004 — FIRED “Apprentice” Romeo Raj Bhakta got his wish yesterday — a “date” with Donald Trump’s pretty receptionist, Robin Himmler, who’s featured on the NBC reality show. Raj, known for his bow-ties, asked Robin out at the end of last week’s episode and — even though she has a very serious boyfriend — she agreed to at least meet Raj for a cup of Joe.
The pair chatted yesterday over coffee at (where else?) Trump Tower.

At Sepia Mutiny, we, like President Bush, are “workin’ hard”…”workin’ saturdays” to keep our readers updated on the most pressing brown matters. You don’t have to admit it to your friends, but we know why you’re addicted, and it’s obviously our thisclose coverage of dismissed/fired/rejected south asian reality show refugees. no worries. we’re so on it. 😉