The intrepid and clever RSS glorifies the totemic Hindu animal by claiming cow dung protects against nuclear fallout (via Spontaneous Order):

Bhanwarlal Kothari, a senior member of the RSS, said, “Our tests have shown that distemper made out of cow dung and spread over walls and roofs can block nuclear radiation.”

But wait, cows also cure cancer…

“We believe that cows’ urine can cure cancer, renal failure, arthritis and a lot of other ailments,” Mansinghka said.

… dispose of biohazards…

“Some of my friends have (debated) ways to use cow dung to wrap surgically removed human body parts and bury them in the ground,” he said. “That will save hospitals the expensive process of incinerating such organs.”

… and cause earthquakes via ‘Einsteinian pain waves’:

“The killing of animals causes natural and manmade disasters,” Bajaj said. “But, since the cow is so useful to human beings, its slaughter causes exceptional seismic activity. The cries of the animals go down to the earth through Einsteinian pain waves.”

Clearly, we should be defending our soldiers in Iraq with nothing more than bull shit. All I’m saying is give pees a chance. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m getting some very non-Einsteinian pain waves in my cranium.