Middle Eastern mutiny

Robert Kaplan draws a comparison in the NYT between this blog’s namesake revolt and the war in Iraq. He argues that rather than evangelizing instant democracy, the U.S. should temper its ambitions:

… Iraq has turned out like the Indian mutiny against the British in 1857 and 1858, when the attempts of Evangelical and Utilitarian reformers in London to modernize and Christianize India – to make it more like England – were met with a violent revolt against imperial rule… The bloody debacle… did signal a transition: away from an ad hoc imperium fired by an intemperate lust to impose domestic values abroad, and toward a calmer, more pragmatic empire built on international trade and technology.

Kaplan’s description of the British Empire pre-Sepoy Rebellion is oddly enervated. Modernize India? Methinks the evangelicals were mainly interested in conversion. To them, heathen Hindus were the sub-Saharan Africans of the 19th century, a teeming continent of raw material for Christianity. Alexander Pope chastised Hindu beliefs in his ‘Essay on Man’:

Lo, the poor Indian! whose untutor’d mind
Sees God in clouds, or hears him in the wind;
His soul proud Science never taught to stray
Far as the solar walk or milky way;
Yet simple nature to his hope has giv’n,
Behind the cloud-topt hill, an humbler Heav’n,
Some safer world in depth of woods embraced,
Some happier island in the wat’ry waste,
Where slaves once more their native land behold,
No fiends torment, no Christians thirst for gold.
To be, contents his natural desire;
He asks no Angel’s wing, no Seraph’s fire;
But thinks, admitted to that equal sky,
His faithful dog shall bear him company.
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Indian PM not into birthdays

Call me paranoid but I sense a conspiracy. In the U.S., little league baseball is always importaning ringers from Latin America who are really too old to be eligible to play baseball, but are able to lie about their age due to the region’s poor birth records. Is the greybearded Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh likewise too old to be eligible for office, or maybe too young? From TeamIndia.net:

Asked by accompanying journalists aboard [a] flight that took him from London to New York Monday evening about [a] planned birthday celebration on air, Singh was quietly dismissive.

“I have never celebrated birthdays. I don’t even know the exact date I was born.”

He explained that a few weeks after he was born in 1932 in Gah, a village in Punjab province of what is now Pakistan, he lost his mother. And he, therefore, never got to know his birthday till the time he was enrolled in primary school when an approximate date was given as his date of birth for the school records.

Santa’s elves are in India, Y’all

ItÂ’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…everywhere (read: Indian factories) you goÂ…

This year at the swank stores of New York and London, Christmas and New Year shoppers will pick up scores of gifts made in India.

Now I almost didnÂ’t blog about this, but the next line made me fall out of my recliner:

Almost all top-end stores like Macy’s, Wal-Mart, Selfridges and Bloomingdale are buying hundreds of gifts from the country in a new genre of outsourcing.

WAL-MART? Are you bleedinÂ’ kidding me? Top-end, my kundi. I wonder if thatÂ’s the first time the evil discounter has been mentioned in the same breath as BloomieÂ’sÂ…

Â…”We’ve got orders for seven to eight items – mostly cushions, pillows, Christmas tree hangings and stockings,” Nebu Jacob, a gift manufacturer, told IANS.
Jacob’s Lakshmi Caminse, whose factory is in Gurgaon, produces popular gifts like beaded mats and silk napkins and supplies names like Neiman Marcus, Bergdorf Goodman, Bloomingdale and Selfridges.

What, no sales to Wal-mart? (like you couldÂ’ve resistedÂ…) Continue reading

Walking the dog

Slow news day at Slate? An Arab-American finds that a new puppy makes him more palatable to neighbors:

Muslims are prohibited from touching the saliva of dogs. If you do come in contact with a dog, you’re supposed to wash your hands seven times before you pray. Most Muslims will avoid dogs at all cost to stay clean for their daily prayers…

People on the street, in their cars, in the parking lot, and at the supermarket were giving me a new look–a friendly one. Strangers who used to skillfully avoid eye contact now wanted to engage me in warm conversation. Patriotic national hotline tippers, who are usually more concerned about Muslim sleeper cells, now stopped me and cordially inquired about my puppy’s sleeping habits, breed, and big black eyes.

The puppy effect is old news, the author must’ve missed Eddie Murphy’s dog gimmick (and dawg role) in Boomerang. Maybe he should try strolling babies or handing out lollipops and unicorn stickers. It’s a cute story, but the point of civil rights is the freedom to be as punk as you wanna be without being hosed by bureaucrats — the triumph of clean, fair play over arbitrary prejudices.

White House celebrates Diwali

The White House hosted its second Diwali celebration Wednesday, which is very cool. It’ll be interesting to see how that plays with the evangelicals who equate Hinduism with devil worship. Former ambassador to India Robert Blackwill hosted the party; it was his last day in government, he just resigned as head of Iraq policy due to a staffer abuse mini-scandal.

Dubya and Laura, Karl Rove (who attended last year), and Representative-elect Bobby Jindal were no-shows. One fundraiser said that for Indian-Americans, ‘pay to play’ is all pay, no play; he threw a hissy-fit when Bush attended a Ramadan dinner a few hours later:

Community activists were told that if the President and the First Lady attended the event of one community or nationals, there would be pressure from others. But a few hours after the Diwali event, Bush attended an Iftar dinner hosted by the White House to mark the end of Ramzaan… “We raised millions for the President and the GOP… and this is what we got in return,” the activist, also a physician, fumed.

Many Republican desis attended, and the mithai and samosas were ordered from the same New York midtown restaurant, Bukhara Grill, which catered Salman Rushdie’s wedding and is a favorite of Bill Clinton’s. Great food is nonpartisan, time for a pilgrimage:

Dhandu Ram is the man behind the tandoor at Bukhara Grill in New York. He is a master tandoor who hails from Rajasthan, but got his training on the job at the famed Bukhara at the Maurya Sheraton in Delhi… As a tandoor chef, Ram is the star attraction at Bukhara Grill and agrees that more respect is given to chefs here… He points out that a tandoor chef generally gets a green card because this is a task that no one else can really do.

Update: Someone who once worked for the host of the party chimes in on Daniel Drezner’s blog:

Blackwill is an incredibly brilliant thinker with absolutely no interpersonal skills… I never saw Blackwill touch an employee other than to shake hands. His manner is such that embassy staff wondered that he could have fathered three children… He sleeps four hours a night… By the time I’d arrive in my office at 0730… I would find between 20 and 30 e-mails from Blackwill, time-stamped from 0330 onward… he was always a decent human being. I think his major fault was that he simply lacked empathy toward other human beings…

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Bugging Trees to Stop Logging

The Independent (UK) is running an interesting story on the embedding of microchips inside of trees in the Indian state of Kerala, in order to curb illegal logging of the precious and aromatic sandalwood tree.

Forestry officials will then be able to use a satellite to monitor the trees. Not only will any attempt to cut them down be detected – the Forest Department will be able to trace the movements of any smugglers who try to take timber out of the area. The trade in contraband sandalwood is one of the most lucrative in India. The “bandit king” Veerappan, wanted for more than 120 murders before he was gunned down by Indian police last month, may have started out poaching elephants for their ivory, but soon moved on to the much more profitable business of sandalwood.

I do think the enforcement of illegal logging laws are important, but I am sure there are better uses for this technology/resource in India.

Lt Neil Prakash

I’m a news junkie and was reading this report from Fallujah when I came across a tres Desi surname – Lt. Neil Prakash.

Did some googling and it turns out that Lt. Prakash is a recent neuroscience major from Johns Hopkins whose hope as he joined ROTC was to be in the tank corp and see some action. Like many Desi’s, he was on a path to med school

1st Lt. Neil Prakash is the platoon commander, in the lead tank. Prakash was born in Bangalore, India, and came to the U.S. as a baby. His parents are both dentists and he was planning a career in medicine like his siblings when he enlisted in ROTC and discovered his true passion. Prakash doesnÂ’t smoke, but heÂ’s having a cigarette now. While waiting for the order to go in, heÂ’s just gotten word of video images from an overhead drone. They indicate that squads of insurgents are on many rooftops armed with machine guns and RPGs…

While I’m working on my facial tan from the glow of the CRT on my desk, Lt Prakash is perhaps 25 yrs old and is the platoon commander leading 4 70-ton tanks crewed by 16 soldiers through the streets of Fallujah. Sure makes me feel like a slacker…

Suffice to say, Prakash survived the RPG fire and had a prominent role in yesterday’s Telegraph report on the fighting in Fallujah

“Guys with short brown hair, dark pants and carrying AK-47s were moving in groups of between two and five across the road to a yellow building,” said Lt Neil Prakash, the tank commander. “Then some started throwing Molotov cocktails and pouring gasoline on the road to create a smokescreen.” …Lt Prakash was asked to provide a grid co-ordinate.

(warning – somewhat gory details ahead) Continue reading

Something better to bet on

SayaliBhagat.jpg
While some gambling addicts will spend their money betting on Simpsons characters others will have this lovely option. From the Hindustan Times:

Indian beauty queen Sayali Bhagat is a hot favourite to be crowned Miss World at its 54th edition slated later this year in the tropical island of Sanya in China, according to Internet bookmakers, Interpops.com.

The world needs some spice! It will certainly have it if Sayali Bhagat becomes the jewel in India’s crown when she wins the 54th Miss World contest,” the betting site said on Thursday.

“The world needs some spice?” Geez, please come up with something better than that.

The bookmakers said there were also some unfortunate “flavourless offerings” that may not make it past the first course. At the bottom of their betting menu are Miss Turks and Caicos at 100/1 and Miss Kenya at 150/1.

Ouch. I’m glad nobody will ever place odds on my beauty.

Apu Nahasapeemapetiqueer?

simpsonWagers.jpgThe Atlantic Monthly has a small piece this month about wagering on the January outing of a character on the Simpsons (subscription required). An Ireland-based betting site offered odds on the identity of the closet-dweller, but halted plays when large amounts of money started floating toward Marge Simpson’s sister, Patty.

Resident Indian-American Apu Nahasapeemapetilon was among the possibilities, because the “Kwik-E-Mart owner spends long hours away from his wife and children.” Still, he’s considered a long-shot, with 14 other characters deemed better choices.

On a related note, White House officials recently confirmed that any amendment banning gay marriage will extend to cartoon characters and muppet-lookin’ muthaf—-s.

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