Planets lined up to screw Indian Astrologers

Last night I was on my balcony reading the stars. I am a man of many talents. All of the stars pointed to the fact that Indian Astrologers are full of sh_t. From Newinidapress:

New Delhi-based astrologers S R Krishnamurti and Lachhman Das Madan, who had forecast a win for Kerry, were hard put to explain what went wrong.

“The sub-period of Mercury in the main period of Mercury, which was in operation for Senator Kerry for the last five-sixth months, appears to have been not strong enough to take him to victory,” said Krishnamurti, who not only predicted a Kerry win, but had also said he would usher in an era of world peace.

“Two other planets, the Sun and the Moon, that were earlier on Kerry’s side, also appear to be not favouring him,” added Krishnamurti, a mystic, seeking cosmic reasons for the turnaround.

Lachhman Das Madan, known as Jyotish Samrat (king of astrologers) and a favourite of the Indian political class, was unwilling to throw in the towel. “I will wait till the final results are out,” he said, shortly before Kerry conceded defeat.

The best part about this is that now I can marry anyone I want without our star charts having to match.

8 thoughts on “Planets lined up to screw Indian Astrologers

  1. yeah! it’s A-S-T-R-O-N-O-M-E-R

    oh wait, that’s not right either

    ASTROLOGER says the spelling bee champ of Deer Park ISD, 1989-1993

    you guys start typing with BOTH hands on the keyboard now.

    /ducks and runs

  2. It is no secret that I can’t spell to save my life. I was the first one eliminated in spelling bees. The MoveableType platform we use doesn’t have a spellchecker. I think I am going to listen to Manish and use Rocketmail. Also another secret about me that only a few people know. Your favorite blogger is a hunt and pecker. I can’t type.

    I am correcting it now. Thanks 🙂

  3. Anna, With us there is still the problem of my unreasonable father and your scandalous proclivity for cursing 🙂

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    Astrology is the study and mapping of celestial planetary bodies on a given date,time and place for the purpose of determining their influence upon human events. Once the positions of the Moon, Sun, and the planets has been determined the cosmic forces emanating from these celestial bodies can be correlated and a Horoscopecan then be drawn and interpreted for an individual.The individual is identified by their astrology birth chart and their astrological sign of the zodiac constellations

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