I listened carefully for the usual remark, and wondered what it would be. My mind flashed forward to a scene of myself, explaining to a judge why I had decided to wastefully pelt these kids with my precious produce. I was also wondering, in another part of my mind, whether I would miss my peaches or beets more, and which ones would be more accurate to throw. I wished I had picked up some overripe tomatoes just a few minutes before, to make sauce with and to express myself more precisely with. With the anniversary of 9-11 approaching, I really didn’t feel like smiling and turning the other cheek at a threat, an accusation of terrorism, or my favorite phrase (which I haven’t heard here yet), “Sand Nigger.”

The chatter from the boat dimmed as they noticed me, and I tensed slightly. Finally one of them yelled, “Nice Beard!”

“Thanks!” I responded. “I grew it myself!”

Excerpts above; the full version is available at my home blog.